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person id told, (next to my older sister) that I was gay. She later confessed that she was a lesbian. I remember one day she I upset her because we got into an argument. She threatened to tell everyone my secret. I really dint believe her, because she dint have many friends. The next day she did the deed. I was at lunch and my good friend told me what she had done.
I guess I had some really good friends, and they wouldn’t talk to her, so I felt good about that.
School wasn’t the only place where people held being gay against me.
It sounds horrible, it was. Home was also a place where I wasn’t safe from criticism. My younger sister lea was probably the third or maybe fourth person I told.
I remember the exact night id told her. I was still living in Texas She said tell me a secret and ill tell you one. So I thought that this was a good time to come out to someone.
I wrote her a note, because I dint feel conformable verbally telling her. I wrote that “I cant get married legally” and she stated “your gay”.
She acted surprised, but she promised she would never tell anyone.
One day when we where in an argument she said “well ill just tell mom your little secret.
To me she was no better than the way my dad treated me, or those mean boys at school.

I remember the first time I had a hunch I was gay. I had a friend named Cody that I went over to his house to hang out. I dint really know I was gay, but like many other people I had “thoughts “ of it.
He asked me” are you gay”? I answered “I don’t know, I have thoughts of it”. He then said “close your eyes and trust me”. He kissed me and asked “ do you like it” I said “yeah”.
I guess that was my first experience. I think I always knew I was gay.


My older sister misty moved in with me and my mother about June of 2007 because she needed a place to stay. She was kinda mean to me at first. She had a son, my nephew Anthony.
I remember when we got into an argument. My now ex sister – law- Cristina started a fight between me and misty.
I was upset that my sister said something hurtful about me. Christina had talked to me and I denied being upset about it. I don't exactly know or even remember for that matter why I don’t tell her that I was upset about what misty had did. I can't even remember what she said so I know now that it wasn't relevant. I think why I dint say I was upset is because I dint trust Christina and just dint want conflict.
Iv always been like that “if it doesn’t bother me much I don't say something”.
The conflict wasn't that big. We yelled I stayed away and it was over. I love my sister misty and have the most respect for her. I guess that’s what real family is. The family that you have that you yell at one second and be alright with the next. Christina was never family anyways.

My sister misty dated a young man I remember his name was johnny. He was a sex offender was scronny, but very tall. He told us that it was a seventeen year old girl, and that he served time in a prison for it.
My mother dint think it was so bad I guess. In the all bills paid apartment we lived in there was a strict rule on sex offenders. The strict rule was don’t have them here. My sister wasn't even allowed to be there because it was only as two room and there where four people living there.
My sister continued to see johnny and would bring him home to have sexual actions with him. I remember when my sister was out with my mother that my nephew Anthony was being bad and dint want to listen to Johnny and she said to him “you better start listening to me or ill give you a spanking”. Johnny did just that.
Though it was only a spanking I felt obligated to tell someone. I Dint. My reason for not is it wasn't a beating, it was only a spanking. He dint do anything wrong I guess.
The truth is is that iv been hit by someone my whole life. Its wrong to hit kids. I remember my grandpa used his belt on us whenever we made him mad. Whether it was bad grades, or accidentally breaking something in the house, he would say “get your ass in my room and bed over".
Always that same leather belt. It hurt so much. My sister lea never got hit with the belt. No always with the hand. Iv always felt like my grandparents always liked my sister more than me.
Shed get nicer things than me, or shed get more attention, or what ever it was I always felt invisible. I always felt as though I was unimportant, to my grandparents.

I at that point made a vow that if I was to ever have children that I would not hit them or let anyone else hit them.
The apartment manager's eventually found out about misty and Johnny and we got evicted.


We had to find somewhere else to live. It was the middle of February. We found the cheapest place we could find. It was a five hundred dollar a month three room trailer.
We dint have to pay a deposit if we cleaned it up ourselves. The landlord told us that the people that lived in it prior to us just up and left it the way it was. I remember when he was showing it to us. We drove up to a rock drive way to this less than handsome house. There was a relay good looking man there. His name was Jeremy and he was the land lore. He said when he walked us into the house “this is it it ain’t much, but I wont charge you any firsts month rent or deposit if you clean it up yourself”. “Okay well take it”my mother said real sweet like”.
This place was disgusting. It had dead cockroaches and bugs in every which place. There was alive cockroaches too. There was trash and the rat problem was out of control. We cleaned and cleaned for weeks on end. It was finally finished and liveable.

My mother's friend Connie gave me a dog. He was my first dog. I remember when we got him I was just so damn exited to have my first dogy. I remember the day we picked him up he was so small.
He is a black lab cutie named Oddie. Not so small anymore. I named him Oddie after my love of the classic cartoon Garfield. I still have him today.

Iv always had a love for animals. Iv been a vegetarian since I can remember.
I became a vegetarian when I was about fifteen. I watched a video on YouTube of an an a goat being killed for fur. I was horrified. They tourchered it. They first beat the goat until it count move and put there foot on his neck and snapped it.
I thought to myself, “this is so horrible of them to do. How could they do this. Its a living thing, it has just as much as a right to live as we humans do.
I tried to eat meat again but I threw up. I told my mother “im a vegetarian now“.

Well me being the meat lover I am my mother said I was damn crazy. We always thought that my sister Lea would be the first to become a vegetarian
It seems humans are the most destructive beings on earth. We where the reasons for all earths problems.
Hitler killing the Jews. We enslaved the African Americans and we cause global warnings. We humans destroy the beautiful forests, and we kill defenseless goats. And other animals too.

Maybe this feelings I feel ab out animals come from me and my sister lea being mistreated by my step mother Nickie and step sister Elanna. I can relate to the animals.


Its kinda funny, even if I see a bug on the floor I have to pick him up and put him outside. I just feel that these animals have a right to be alive just as we do.

I even today am still a vegetarian. People always ask me the same question. How healthy are you? Its really a stereo type that all vegetarians are unhealthy. I’m really healthy. My food consist of. In the morning I eat a protein shake. Lunch I eat peanut butter sandwich. Cottage cheese, and chips. For dinner I eat a veggie burger or veggies.
It depends how you eat really. Im healther and happier. I remember one time I was eating a viggie sandwich with all veggies on it. My mom said “that needs meat on it , don't you think”? She asked jokenly. I jenesly, and smart alecly,andwered back well your burger need's some vegtables on it, don't you think. Its kinda funny really.


Four:
Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.
- Elie Weisel


In about May of 2007 my mother said that she was going to allow my brother Chris. Chris was the child that my mother sis drugs until she was seven months pregnant.
Chris wanted to come and live with us because he said that “ he was tired of living with my biological dad Matt. My mom told me about his mental disabilities and asked me and my sister Misty to be nice and explained that he may do things that he doesn’t know he does.
I talked to him a few times before he moved down from Arizona, to Texas. He asked me many questions. The weirdest question he asked me was about sex. Although I wasn't “ out” as a gay person I guess that it was obvious that I was gay.

I remember one time when he called when my mother was out for the day and he wanted to talk to me. I remember specificity thing we talked about. He asked “ would you have sex with a boy”. I didn’t know if that was a question that I should answer. I didn’t even know if my brother should even ask me a question like that. Awkwardly Then he said “okay” in the creepiest way possible. I knew he had problems and sometimes count help some of the things he says. I just kept my mouth shut about a what he said.
I thought to myself “why make something worst than what it is.” May be it was just a question because I sound gay. So I let it go and I didn’t mention it to my mother. I wonder maybe if I had she would’ve stopped him from moving to Texas, but I didn’t say anything.

My mother told me that he was moving to where we lived in a month. I remember feeling so exited about him moving in with us. He was
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