unwritten - Timothy Terry (free ebook reader for iphone txt) 📗

Prologue
In life, we all go through ups, down's. Good time, bad time, and theirs times when life just absolutely sucks. But we keep going and there will be a point when you will realize, it will only make you stronger.
This is my story, of survival, maybe or you could just call it “my journey”
A quote from Oprah Winfrey “ “Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” here is my journey and struggle and I only hope you have no sympathy, but respect for what I and many other people have gone through and heal from knowing that someone else has been through the hard times you have been through, and at some Point when you find yourself, you figure out every, heartache, every tough time or bump in the road it will all make you stronger.
It seems you never truly know how strong you are until you go through something devastating.
Sexual , Physical, verbal, mental, abuse. Or anything traumatic. Loosing someone close to yo. A friend, A grandparent, sibling, Parent, or even a close co- worker.
You go through so much stuff. Life throws you so many detours in life. I have figured out that you go through so much in life because it really molds you into the person you are today. It only makes you stronger and dose not make you weaker. I remember I used to be so scared of fun houses. You know the ones that are scary, with clowns, monsters. I would cry, and hide behind my mama. But eventually you go through it and fearless.


One
Anger is never without a reason,
but seldom a good one - Benjamin Franklin


It is cold outside about this time a year, in Huntsville Alabama, in my tiny kitchen. I write from my computer in my kitchen. I don’t know why, but that is my favorite place to write from, my kitchen. Its the warmest place in my house. Aah there nothing like a nice hot cup of coffee and my computer to get the writing flowing.
Its pretty dark outside, my dogs enjoy running around the house like a bunch of “animals”. Iv always loved animals. Its sort of a funny thing I became a vegetarian at only fifteen. I sall a video of an animal getting killed and I just though about in my mind”what if they did that to me, would I like it”? We have a black lag we call oldie. He has big ears that hang down from his head and long legs like a giraffe , that he can run for miles, (I would imagine). We’ve had him for three years. Then we have our other dog Sasha. We’ve had her ever since I was probably five. My mother brought her home one day, when someone was going to put her to sleep. She reeks of wet dog as it just rained, and shes chubby with a small head. Then we had our chawowa, spike. Hes about a year old. He had the longest ears iv ever seen on a dog, I think he could fly away with those ears! Hes pretty small, smaller than our eleven cats. Why do I talk about my dogs? I don’t know why. To set the mood I suppose. Its kinda a bitter story, at times it may be humorous.

Why call this book confessions? Is it n because theirs things in this that no one has ever heard. I don’t know just sounded like an interesting tittle. I guess.

I grew up in a blue house, in which my grandparents had the dream to built in 2000. I remember that era in time when we where building it. It took about two years so (in truth it wasn’t done until 2002 or 2003, sometime).
I remember when we first moved in. It was pretty empty. We had running water, the couches, our bed, and our kitchen table. It was kinda cool being a child.
My sister got the biggest room upstairs. She had the bright yellow one with the candy apple curtains. I remember being jealous because her room was bigger than mine. It always felt as if she always got nicer stuff than me.
My step sister got the “guest room”. It was originally the guest room, but it later was turned into her room . It was second largest to my sisters lea room, with light brown walls. My grandmother bought her such a large bed though it took up most of the room. With just enough to fit her dresser, and also the television.
My room was the smallest. It was also light brown. My walls where rather plain with two pictures. My grandmother had this picture of this kid in this cowboy hat, urinating. It was a joke, because I had blatter problems. I also had a picture of a baby, with my name and date- of- birth on I my grandmothers aunt or something like that hand made it. (lea also had one).
My room had my bed, and a small dresser. I had the most extra space in my room though, so we all played in our room.
We lived up stairs, so my grandparents lived upstairs. I always remember when we would play, my grandmother would holler at us “ Stop running up there”. Or she would say “ calm down, you sound like a herd of elephants”. It got humors.
My grandmother was very stern. I dint give up my bodle until I was four. She just said one day, to my parents “hes too damn old for a bodle”. It caused my front teeth to rot out later so I waled around until the time I was about ten without my top teeth.
Another time I can think of is when I was about five or six, we where at a restraunt, my grandparents, parents, me, and my little sister lea. I was just in a :bad mood that day my grandmother says.
I dint want to eat anything. I said no to everything. When we all started to eat I dint eat. My grandmother being the stern women she is, sent me out to the car to sit. I sat there the whole time. My grand,other tells the story and says she ate extra slow. My grandfather wanted to go and tried to rush her to hurry up. That’s just an example, of how stern of a women my grandmother is.
I remember when my dad rand mother split. Me and my sister where devastated.
My dad remarried to my stepmother named nickie.
When he got re married it was weird for us. It was me, mom,lea, and dad, and now it was changed. I guess as I child you don’t like change. We where to call nickie mom. It was weird, kids don’t like change. Kinda like you don’t like loosing your first blanket, or the kid dosn't like taking the noddle away.


I promised my self that when I found “the one” id stay with that person. Divorce is just too painful on children. I would never would never put myself through that pain.
I remember very vividly the day he told us he was to marry. They had met over the internet, and a week, or so after talking though an online dating site, he asked her if she wanted to marry him. I was opposed to it, at first.
I just thought, why marry someone you don’t personally know. You don’t know who this person really is.
He expected us to call he mom. In my mind I had a mom. I did it to make him happy.

She had a daughter (my step sister) elanna. Elanna wasn’t a very pleasant person though. She was cruel to us. It was a;always “Timothy did this', or “lea did that”. She enjoyed getting us in trouble. She was twisted and believed she was above us. Shed always call me by my first and middle name. “Timothy James” always when she got mad. I always thought it was only alright for parents to call you by your middle name. You know when your in trouble.
The only reason she ever did that is because my “bitchy” step mother told her she could.

Thats another thing, my stepmother always treated elanna better than me and my sister. She was like a saint, or a “princess”. She could do no wrong. Anything we had she had to have. When she got something we dint have, shed brag. “look what I have and you don't”.
My grandparents raised me and my younger sister lea .

My grandmother was so funny, we enjoyed to sit around and hear the stories of my foolish dad as a child. We liked to to hear the what wacky, things he did as a child.
When my stepsister would visit us for like a weekend at my grandmother (we dint live with my father) my grandmother didn’t let her treat us badly.
I remember one specific time when my grandmother really stood up to our cruel step sister. She had been picking on lea and lea fought back. She called elanna a whole bunch of names. My sister elanna snitched, she did that a lot, shed turn the tables around to make it look like we where the bad people, when in truth she was usually the instigator, and went and cried to nicki and my dad. My grandmother told her to shut up and stop bitching. She said “ you brought this on yourself always bulling everyone else” She also said” When you in my house you’ll be pleasant, when your over there ill deal with it also”.
It kinda amused me and lea. Amused us that she could no longer bully us. That we where free. Though it dint last long it was sorta victory.

My stepmother continued to bully me and my sister. She always seemed to make it known that I was not “ blood related” to my father. I remember she was for some reason naming parts of my dads family and I said “ Why am I not in it”. Her reply was so cruel and cold. It shocked me to the worst extent.
She said snottily “ Because your not a holtz”.
My father always told me “just because your not blood to me, you’ll always be my son”. I thought of him as “ my father” but I wasn’t thought that way. He sited with her, its painful to loose someone you , love to some bitch who thinks shes better than you.
Pardon my language, but she just treated me and my sister so bad that that’s what I think of her. Although our past, when I talk to her im respectful. You learn in life that you cant hold a grudge against everyone who’s done you wrong. You’ll just be miserable your while life.
My dad claims he never remembered her or him treating us like this. He was on morphine so it sounds about right. He was unpleasant to us too. I recall him being so mean to me. He would get mad