The Size of Your Dreams - - (large screen ebook reader .txt) 📗

I intend to find an amazing coach for the girls’ swim team by November 24. To accomplish this, I will do the following steps.

1. Jill and I will interview all candidates
2. If the interview goes well, we’ll ask the candidate to run a team practice
3. We will then decide on our top choice, while still being open to multiple coaches working together

“How are you going to do all of that in time?” I asked.

“What’s that?”

I twisted around to look right at Christy. “You only have a few days until your deadline. Are you going to give Dana a real interview? If so, you need to do two interviews and two practices. When are you going to fit that all in?”

“I do want to give Dana a real interview. You’re right, I might run out of time.”

“Don’t give up yet,” Mr. Griffin said. “Deadlines have remarkable power to get us to think creatively. Can any of you come up with a way of saving Christy time?”

“Well, you already know that you like Dana enough to want her to run a practice,” I said. “Couldn’t you schedule her interview and her practice for the same day?”

“Good idea. That would save me a day.”

“You still have no time to lose,” Mr. Griffin said.

“You’re right. Can I call them both now?”

“Go ahead.”

Christy pulled out her cell phone and went over by the window at the back of the classroom.

“Guess this would be a good time to hit the john. Can I have a pass?” Jarod shot up, grabbed a pink note from Mr. Griffin and booked it out the door.

I grabbed my copy of Hamlet to study for my English exam, then saw Darnell take one furtive look at Christy and stepped up to Mr. Griffin’s desk.

“Yes, Darnell?” Mr. Griffin asked.

Darnell fidgeted for a moment, then shot another glance toward the back of the classroom.

Mr. Griffin leaned in. “If you want to get it out before she gets off the phone, you’d better hurry.”

Darnell’s face hung low. “I’m embarrassed about my weight.”

I quickly hid behind Shakespeare, but could still see Darnell through the corner of my eye. How could he be so open? I think I’d rather die than say that out loud.

“I know,” Mr. Griffin said. “So was I at your age. You’re ready to work on it?” “Yes, but…” Darnell looked over his shoulder.

“Darnell, if I were to ask Christy, ‘how do you think Darnell feels about his weight?’ what do you think she’d say?”

Darnell’s shoulders rose to meet his ears. “She’d say I was embarrassed.”

“Sometimes what we consider our biggest secrets are stunningly obvious to the rest of the world.”

Darnell’s hands balled into fists. “Still…”

“It’s possible for you to do this process alone. But I promise you—it’s far more powerful when you open yourself up to the wisdom of your Mastermind Group.”

“I know. I’m just not sure I can handle that.”

“You strike me as a guy who wants to do it, but needs to be convinced. Is that right?”

Silence filled the air. Darnell drew a deep breath. “I suppose so.”

“I can convince you, but it’s going to hurt.”

Darnell’s head slowly rose so that his gaze met our teacher’s. “I’m OK with that.”

“Very well, then tell me, Darnell, if you’re not able to address your weight now, when you’re in a classroom full of people helping each other grow, when do you think you’ll be able to take off the pounds?”

“Probably never.”

“What about your attitude toward your weight? There are plenty of people who consider large bodies beautiful. If you’re unable to ever lose the weight, do you at least think you can come to look at yourself as beautiful, despite your size?”

Darnell’s back slumped. “No, Mr. Griffin.”

“Close your eyes.”

“Now? Here?” Darnell shot another glance towards Christy, who was still on the phone.

“Yes, now. Take a breath and relax your shoulders. There. Now, imagine you haven’t changed your lifestyle at all. Picture yourself ten years from now, standing before a mirror. Can you see yourself?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to.”

“Do it anyway.” There was a commanding tone to Mr. Griffin voice that I hadn’t heard before. “Now, what do you look like?”

“I’m huge. My skin is all broken out. I keep dropping my eyes.”

“Don’t. Keep your eyes on the prize.”

“The prize?”

“Yes, your efforts today lead to your rewards tomorrow. What you see in the mirror is the product of your choices today.”

“Some prize.”

“Tell me about the life of that man in the mirror. Are you confident?”

“No, I’m a mess. I can hardly look anyone in the eye.”

“Do you have a good job?”

“No.” Darnell’s breathing grew short and shallow. “I’m working in some convenience store. With a boss who keeps pushing me around.”

“Do you have a romantic relationship?”

“No, I’m alone.” Darnell’s face turned away.

“Back to the mirror, Darnell. Look right at him. This is your future. How’s your health?”

“Awful. I can barely walk to work without getting short of breath.”

“How do you feel now as you study the man in the mirror?”

“Nauseous. Gross. I want to squirm and run away.”

“Good.”

“How is this good?

“These feelings will give you the leverage you need to change. Now, look at that man in the mirror and tell him how you feel about him.”

“You’re disgusting!” Darnell’s voice sounded blubbery, as though his lips were wet with tears.

Mr. Griffin reached over and dug his index finger into the soft flesh on the back of Darnell’s shoulder. “Say it again.”

“You’re disgusting!”

“Again.” Mr. Griffin pressed his finger into Darnell’s shoulder each time.

“You’re disgusting!”

“Remember this moment. It will be your greatest friend over the coming months.” Mr. Griffin pulled his hand away. “Open your eyes. You did that exercise well. A little too well. Most teenagers have a harder time visualizing themselves in the future. At least, they have a harder time if they’ve never done it before. Do you spend a lot of time thinking about who you’ll become?”

Darnell nodded and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’m scared of what will happen to me.”

“And what do you do when you feel afraid?”

“I…eat.”

“See a bit of a problem?”

Darnell’s head tilted to the side, then popped straight again. “Yeah.”

“What would happen if you put that fear behind you? What would happen if today you resolved to work hard until you had the body you wanted? If you were to decide right now to take the weight off and keep it off, what would that change?”

“Everything.”

“Would it? Let’s put it to the test. Close your eyes again. The same ten years have passed. You’re staring in the mirror at a Darnell ten years older, but who’s fit, who’s got the body you dream of. What does this Darnell look like?”

Darnell’s posture straightened—he actually seemed taller. “I look good. Really good.”

“Tell me more. Are you thin?”

“Not exactly thin, but there’s no fat on me. I’m muscular. An athlete.”

“How’s your confidence?”

“Super high. I’m smiling back at me.”

“How’s your health?”

“Amazing. I’ve got tons of energy.”

“Job?”

“A great job, making a lot of money. Maybe in sales.”

“Sales? So you’re a people person?”

“Oh yeah.”

“And a relationship?”

“Married to a beautiful woman.”

“How do you feel now as you study the man in the mirror?”

“Awesome. My whole body is buzzing.”

“Tell him how you feel about him.”

“You rock!”

Mr. Griffin dug his finger into Darnell’s chest. “Again.”

“You rock!”

Again his finger dug in. “One more time.”

“You rock!”

Mr. Griffin pressed his finger once more and removed it. “If this Darnell could speak to you and give you one piece of advice, what would it be?”

Darnell pounded his fist into his hand. “Don’t be afraid.”

“Open your eyes. You’ve told me your dream, and you’ve told me your nightmare. Are you ready to choose between the two?”

“Yes, Mr. Griffin.”

“Are you willing to take your own advice and face your fears?”

“Yes.”

“Can you get past your embarrassment so we can get to work?”

Jarod walked in the door. “I’m back. Don’t all applaud at once, OK?”

Darnell’s posture deflated.

“Can you get past your embarrassment?” Mr. Griffin repeated.

“I think so.”

“That’s not good enough. This can’t come from me. Your homework tonight is to sit with these two visions for who you can become. Tomorrow I want you to tell me what you’ve decided.”

Christy was now off the phone and chatting with Jarod.

“Christy, do you have an update for us?” Mr. Griffin asked.

“Good news with Dana. She’s free today. She’s going to run practice this afternoon, and she’ll come early to meet with the captains beforehand.”

“Great. And Sue?”

“I couldn’t reach her.”

* * *

Darnell entered the classroom with fire in his eyes. He shot Mr. Griffin a quick thumbs up and took his seat.

“We’ve got some exciting news today,” Mr. Griffin said, “but first I want to get updates. Christy, how did the interview and practice go?”

“The interview went great. Dana’s got so much enthusiasm. Jill and I both loved her.”

“And the practice?”

“It was good. I don’t think Dana’s ever run one before. Things were a bit disorganized at first, but then she divided us into two teams and had us go through an entire swim meet. A big improvement over when we were running them ourselves.”

“Any update on Sue?”

“She’s going to come in and interview today.”

“What about practice?”

“I didn’t want to ask her yet, because then what would I do if the interview went poorly, say ‘sorry, but we don’t like you enough to ask you to run a practice?’” Mr. Griffin laughed. “One of the reasons my first business failed was because I hated rejecting anyone. I’d hire people who weren’t perfect fits, and resisted firing those who weren’t working out. My breakthrough came when I realized that honest communication was not only better for me, it was better for them as well.”

“Why was it better for them?”

“Because as long as they were wasting time with me, they weren’t able to find a place where they could thrive. And when someone is not a good fit and isn’t contributing value, they know it inside.”

“So if we tell her we don’t want her, she won’t be bummed?”

“Of course she will—it hurts to be rejected. But that’s only momentary pain. When we get too focused on avoiding short-term pain, we can cause far more in the long-term. After all, I’m sure Sue will have no problem finding another coaching job where she earns no salary.”

Christy laughed. “Good point. We figured if the interview went well today, we’d invite her to run practice afterward, so we’d still make our deadline.”

“Hopefully she’ll be available. Jarod, how about you?”

“Doing OK, Mr. Griffin.”

“Have you made any progress?”