The Size of Your Dreams - - (large screen ebook reader .txt) 📗
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“Some.”
“Care to elaborate for the class?”
“Not really.”
Mr. Griffin shook his head. “In that case, we move on to today’s most exciting news.” He clapped, then rubbed his hands together. “We have a new victim.”
Without waiting for Mr. Griffin to call on him, Darnell stood and faced the class. “I’m sick of being fat. I don’t want to go through life overweight and out of shape.” He pulled a notecard out of his back pocket and read:
I intend to lose 70 pounds this year while building muscle and getting in shape.
Jarod clapped. Christy called out, “Go, Darnell!”
“Tell me, Darnell,” Mr. Griffin said, “did that feel better or worse than you thought it would?”
“So much better. I thought people would laugh at me.”
“No way, Darnell,” Jarod said. “That took balls.”
“See?” Mr. Griffin said. “Most people get inspired by someone who wants to face their challenges and grow.”
“So you like my card so far?”
“I love the intention,” Mr. Griffin said.
“But you don’t like the card?”
“I’d like to tweak the language a bit.”
“How’s that?”
“If it’s not too embarrassing, can you tell me how much you weigh now?”
“It is embarrassing.” Darnell bit his lip. “I weighed myself this morning at 242 pounds.”
“So if a couple of months from now you weigh yourself and find that you’re 208 pounds, how far along will you be toward your goal?”
“That’s easy, I’ll take my starting weight of 242 and subtract 208, and I’ll come up with, just a second, 34 pounds. I’ll be almost halfway.”
“Does anyone see a problem in what Darnell just did?”
The math was right. But Mr. Griffin said the other day that he was less concerned about the math than the psychology. Then it clicked.
“Darnell went back to his starting weight to figure out how much progress he’d made.”
“Precisely Kelvin. Now, why is that a problem?”
“Is it because it reminds him that he used to weigh 242 pounds?”
“Exactly. For all I know, this could be the first day when Darnell weighed 242 pounds. Yesterday he might have been 241. Yet, if he creates his goal this way, each day he’ll return to the fact that he used to weigh 242. Darnell, you want to leave that identity in the dust, yet if you keep focusing on it, you might reinforce it instead.”
“So how would I write it better?” Darnell asked.
Mr. Griffin turned to me. “Kelvin, you figured out the first half of the puzzle. Can you get the rest?”
If going back to his old weight was reinforcing the wrong identity, what would strengthen the right one? “I suppose we could reverse it. Darnell, rather than say how much you want to lose, you could say what you want to weigh at the end. So 172 pounds.”
“Or less,” Darnell added.
“Excellent,” Mr. Griffin said. “As we told Christy, we always want our goals centered on where we’re going. We never want to look at them in the rearview mirror.”
“Got it,” Darnell said. “Now my card reads:
I intend to weigh 172 pounds or less by the end of the school year while building muscle and getting in shape.
“Better Darnell, though I’d like to recommend one more change. Huge goals can be motivating, but also intimidating. Also, there is a tendency to delay starting if the end date is too far in the future. Let’s shrink the change. You signed a contract agreeing to a 30-day commitment. How much do you intend to lose in the next month?”
“I can commit to 15 pounds.”
“Excellent, so let’s fix your card.”
Darnell corrected his card, then said, “Now it reads:
I intend to weigh 227 pounds or less by December 23
“Now, how will you get there?”
“I guess cut out the junk food and exercise more.”
“Exercise more you say? Wonderful, stand up.”
Darnell got to his feet.
“Good job, now sit down.”
Darnell, clearly confused, sat down again.
“Congratulations. You just did more exercise.”
All of us, including Darnell, laughed. “I see your point,” he said, “I need to be more specific.”
“Yes, you do. And cutting out the junk food might not be enough. You might need to cut the junk out of your normal food as well. Tell me, what did you have for breakfast yesterday?”
Darnell squirmed. “3 bowls of Frosted Flakes.”
“Anything to drink?”
“2 glasses of orange juice.”
“And that’s just breakfast, I won’t bother taking you through the rest of your day, but I believe you already see the problem.”
Darnell nodded. “So what should I put down on my card?”
“You tell me. You know the procedures by now. You’ve got your Mastermind Group to help. What steps must you take to reach your goal?”
* * *
Classes were shortened the next day so families traveling for Thanksgiving could get an early start.
“We don’t have a lot of time today, so let’s dive right in,” Mr. Griffin said. “Christy, how did the big interview with Sue go yesterday?”
“I’m not sure actually.”
“What did you learn about her during the interview?”
“Nothing really. She asked most of the questions.”
“Like what?”
“Like everything. She asked about the training methods our last coach used. She asked about the girls on the team and took notes on each one. She asked about the other teams in our conference. She would have kept going if we didn’t have to break off for practice.”
“Did you ask her to run the practice?”
“She refused. She said she’d need a couple of days to plan out her first practice. She stayed and watched though. Now and then she’d pull one of the girls aside and point something out. But that was it. She said the earliest she’d be willing to run a practice is Monday, after the holiday.”
“Your deadline to hire a coach is today,” Mr. Griffin said.
“I know. What should I do?”
“I can’t answer that for you, Christy. You tell me.”
“I definitely like Dana more. She ran a good practice, and all of the girls liked her. With Dana, I know we’d all work together to figure things out. That’s not the way it would be with Sue. I don’t think Sue cares about our opinions. I just wish I had until Monday so I could see her coach.”
“You can’t?” Mr. Griffin asked.
“You know I can’t. You said yourself, today’s the 24th.”
“So?”
“So that’s what’s written on the notecard.”
Mr. Griffin laughed. “Who’s in charge, the notecard or you?”
“But you said yourself that we had to stick to the notecard deadlines.”
“The notecards are a tool. They serve to activate your mind and keep you in line with your higher vision. When they work best, they can cause huge shifts in your life. Those very shifts can make what you originally wrote on the notecards outdated. That’s why we change the steps so much, but we can also change the deadline or even the goal itself. The key is to know when a change will truly move you toward your higher vision, and when it’s just a cop-out. Remember why you gave yourself this deadline?”
“It was the thought that if we went more than two weeks without coaching, we’d be sunk.”
“Do you still feel that way?”
“No. The team’s come a long way since then. We’ve already gotten some great coaching, and we’re no longer a mess. At this point, I think we’d be silly not to give ourselves until Monday to make sure we get the best possible coach.” Christy bent over her card, pen in hand.
Mr. Griffin turned to Darnell. “Now, how about you?”
“I weighed in this morning at a svelte 241 pounds.” Though he had only lost one pound, Darnell beamed.
“How’d you do it?”
“I walked home from school yesterday rather than taking the bus, and I skipped dessert after dinner.”
“Sounds like a strong start. How’s your notecard coming along?”
“Good. It now reads:
I intend to weigh 227 pounds or less by December 23. To accomplish this, I will do the following:
1. Cut out all soda, ice cream, and other junk foods, replacing them with healthier alternatives
2. Get at least half an hour of exercise per day
“Nice start. Jarod, any update for us?”
Jarod slouched in his chair in the back row, arms crossed. “Nope.”
“Anything you’d like to run by your Mastermind Group?”
“I’m good.”
“Very well. Have a great holiday, everyone.”
* * *
On Monday, Darnell refused to make eye contact with any of us. Blood rose to his cheeks as he took his seat. A moment later, those same flabby cheeks glistened with the tracks of tears. He must have put on major pounds during Thanksgiving.
“Certain moments define a lifetime,” Mr. Griffin said. “My gut tells me, Darnell, that you’re in one of those moments right now.”
Darnell’s back trembled.
“How bad is it?” Mr. Griffin asked.
Darnell’s voice quivered. “246.”
“I’ll remind you all,” Mr. Griffin said, “our greatest clarity comes at times of extremes, at our greatest heights or our lowest lows.”
Mr. Griffin stepped in front of Darnell’s desk. “I could be nice right now—I could sympathize with you and help you feel less pain—but that wouldn’t serve you. Use the pain you’re feeling now to help you make the all-important decision that lies before you.”
Mr. Griffin looked around the class. “For the rest of you, feel the emotion in the room. Tap into that to delve into your own places of brokenness.” He sat back down at his desk. “There will be no speaking for the rest of class.”
Mr. Griffin pulled out a worn journal and wrote. Darnell continued to sob into his arms.
The Numbers Game
The next day, Darnell walked into class wearing a windbreaker over his clothes. The tears from the day before were gone, replaced by a quiet determination.
“Are you trying to sweat off the weight, Darnell?” Jarod asked. It was a testament to Darnell’s composure that Jarod said anything—even he wouldn’t have teased Darnell a day earlier.
“Something like that,” Darnell said with a grin.
“Let’s start with Christy,” Mr. Griffin said. “Did you like Sue?”
“No. We all hated her. She bossed us around non-stop. She told us everything we were doing was wrong. I’m not just talking about our diving or swimming. She didn’t even like the way we put on our goggles.”
“So you hired Dana?” I asked.
“No, we hired Sue.”
“You’re kidding,” Jarod said. “You hired someone you hated over someone you loved?”
“My notecard was clear.” Christy took out the card and read:
I intend to captain the girls’ swim team to victory in the State Championships on March 8th. To accomplish this, I will do the following:
1. Find an Amazing coach
“If my goal were to have fun being team captain, I’d hire Dana. But my goal is to win, not be coddled. Sue was amazing. At the end of practice, I swam my fastest lap of the year.”
“Was Dana disappointed?” Mr. Griffin asked.
“Actually, no. It’s Dana’s goal to be a top-notch coach someday, but I think she knows she’s not there yet. When I told her how amazing Sue was, and that
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