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dull and their face inanimate.

 

They are not worthy of having treasures, when they do not

appreciate what is exhibited to them. It, however, was very

interesting for us to point them out, and we have sought every

where for information on so important a matter, as who should be

our guests and our hosts.

 

We set about this with an anxiety which ensures success, and, in

consequence of our perseverance, we are able to present to the

corps of amphitryon, gastronomical tests, a discovery which will

do honor to the nineteenth century.

 

By gastronomical tests, we mean dishes of so delicious a flavor

that their very appearance excites the gustatory organs of every

healthy man. The consequence is, that all those who do not evince

desire, and the radiancy of ecstasy, may very properly be set down

as unworthy of the honours of the society and the pleasures

attached to them.

 

The method of TESTS duly deliberated on, and examined in the great

council, has been described in the golden book, in words of an

unchangeable tongue, as follows:

 

Utcumque ferculum, eximii et bene noti saporis appositum fuerit,

fiat autopsia convivoe; et nisi facies ejus ae oculi vertantur ad

ecstasim, notetur ut indignus.

 

This was rendered into the vernacular, by the translator of the

grand council, as follows:

 

“Whenever a dish of a distinguished and good flavor is served, the

guests should be attentively watched, and those, the faces of whom

do not express pleasure, should be marked as unworthy.”

 

Tests are relative, and should be proportioned to the various

classes of society. All things considered, it should be arranged

so as to create admiration and surprise. It is a dynameter, the

power of which should increase as we ascend in society. The test

for a householder in La Rue Coquenard, would not suit a second

clerk, and would be unnoticed at the table of a financier, or a

minister.

 

In the enumeration of the dishes we think worthy of being

considered as tests, we will begin at the lowest grade, and will

gradually ascend so as to elucidate the theory, so that all may

not only use it with benefit, but also invent a new series

calculated for the sphere in which they chance to be placed.

 

We will now give a list of the dishes we think fit to be served as

tests; we have divided them into three series of gradual ascents,

following the order indicated above.

 

GASTRONOMICAL TESTS.

 

FIRST SERIES.—INCOME OF 5,000 FRANCS.

 

A breast of veal baked in its own juice.

 

A turkey stuffed with Lyons chestnuts.

 

Baked pigeons.

 

Eggs a la neige.

 

Sourkrout, with sausages dressed with lard, fume de Strasburg.

 

EXPRESSION. “Peste; that looks well; let us pay our devoirs to

it.”

 

SECOND SERIES.—INCOME 15,000 FRANCS.

 

A filet de boeuf pique, and baked in its juice, with pickles.

 

A quarter of Chevreuil.

 

Turbot plain.

 

A Turkey Truffee.

 

Petits pois.

 

EXCLAMATION. “My dear sir, this is pleasant indeed!”

 

THIRD SERIES.—INCOME 30,000 FRANCS, OR MORE.

 

A fowl weighing seven pounds, stuffed with truffles, so that it

has become a spheroid.

 

A patte perigord in the form of a bastion.

 

A cask a la Chambord richly dressed and decorated.

 

A pike stuffed with craw-fish secundum artum.

 

A pheasant dressed a la sainte alliance.

 

Asparagus, large as possible, served up in osmazome.

 

Two dozen ortolans a la provencale, as the dish is described in

the Cook’s Secretary.

 

A pyramid of sweet meats, flavored with rose and vanilla.

 

EXPRESSION. “Monsieur, or Monseigneur, your cook is a man of

mind. Such dishes we eat only at your house.”

 

MEDITATION XIV.

 

ON THE PLEASURES OF THE TABLE.

 

MAN of all the animals who live on the earth, is beyond doubt, the

one who experiences most suffering.

 

Nature condemned him to suffering by robbing him of hair, by

giving him such a peculiar formation of his feet, also by the

instinct of destruction, and of war which has followed man every

where.

 

Animals have never been stricken with this curse, and with the

exception of a few contests, caused by the instinct of

reproduction, harm would be absolutely unknown to the lower

animals of creation. Man, though he cannot appreciate pleasure

except by a small number of organs, may yet be liable to intense

agony.

 

This decree of destiny was engraved by a crowd of maladies, which

originated in the social system. The result is that the most

intense pleasure one can imagine, cannot atone for certain pains,

such as the gout, the tooth-ache, etc., acute rheumatisms,

strictures, and many other diseases we might mention.

 

This practical fear of pain has had the effect, that without even

perceiving it, man has rushed into an opposite direction, and has

devoted himself to the small number of pleasures nature has placed

at his disposal.

 

ORIGIN OF THE PLEASURES OF THE TABLE.

 

Meals, as we understand the word, began at the second stage of the

history of humanity. That is to say as soon as we ceased to live

on fruits alone. The preparation and distribution of food made the

union of the family a necessity, at least once a day. The heads of

families then distributed the produce of the chase, and grown

children did as much for their parents.

 

These collections, limited at first to near relations, were

ultimately extended to neighbors and friends.

 

At a later day when the human species was more widely extended,

the weary traveler used to sit at such boards and tell what he had

seen in foreign lands. Thus hospitality was produced, and its

rights were recognized everywhere. There was never any one so

ferocious as not to respect him who had partaken of his bread and

salt.

 

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE PLEASURE OF EATING AND THE PLEASURES OF

THE TABLE.

 

Such from the nature of things, should be the elements of the

pleasures of the table which, where eating is a necessity, of

course takes the precedence.

 

The pleasure of eating is a peculiar sensation directed to the

satisfaction of a necessity. The pleasures of the table is a

reflected sensation, originating in various facts, places, things

and persons.

 

We share with animals in the pleasure of eating. They and we have

hunger which must he satisfied.

 

It is peculiar to the human race, for it supposes a predisposition

for food, for the place of meeting, and for guests.

 

The pleasures of the table exact, if not hunger, at least

appetite. The table is often independent of hoth the one and the

other.

 

This we may see at every entertainment.

 

At the first course every one eats and pays no attention to

conversation; all ranks and grades are forgotten together in the

great manufacture of life. When, however, hunger begins to be

satisfied, reflection begins, and conversation commences. The

person who, hitherto, had been a mere consumer, becomes an amiable

guest, in proportion as the master of all things provides him with

the means of gratification.

 

EFFECTS.

 

The pleasures of the table afford neither ravishing pleasure,

ecstasy, nor transport, but it gains in intensity what it loses in

duration. It is the more valuable because it exposes us to all

other gratifications and even consoles us for their loss.

 

After a good dinner body and soul enjoy a peculiar happiness.

 

Physically, as the brain becomes refreshed, the face lightens up,

the colors become heightened, and a glow spreads over the whole

system.

 

Morally, the mind becomes sharpened, witticisms circulate. If La

Farre and Saint Aulaire descend to posterity with the reputation

of spiritual authors, they owe it especially to the fact that they

were pleasant guests.

 

Besides, there are often found collected around the same table,

all the modifications of society which extreme sociability has

introduced among us: love, friendship, business, speculation,

power, ambition, and intrigue, all enhance conviviality. Thus it

is that it produces fruits of all imaginable flavors.

 

ACCESSORIES.

 

An immediate consequence of all these antecedents is that human

industry has toiled to augment the duration of the gratifications

of the table.

 

Poets complain that the throat is too short for the uses of

degustation, and others lament the want of capacity of the

stomach. Some even regret that digestion is accomplished in a

single act and not divided into two.

 

This was but an extreme effort to amplify the enjoyments of taste;

in this respect, however, it is impossible to exceed the limits

imposed by nature, and an appeal was made to accessories, which

offered more latitude.

 

Vases and goblets were crowned with flowers; crowns were

distributed to the guests, and dinners served beneath the vault of

heaven, in groves, and amid all the wonders of nature.

 

Music and song were made to increase the pleasures of the table.

Thus while the king of the Pheacians ate, the singer Phemius sang

the praises of the wars and warriors of other days.

 

Often dancers and pantomimists of both sexes, in all possible

costumes, occupied the attention without injuring the pleasure of

the meal. The most exquisite perfumes were diffused in the air,

and guests were often waited on by unveiled beauty, so that every

sense was appealed to.

 

I might consume many pages in proving what I advance. The Greek

authors and our old chroniclers only need to be copied. These

researches, however, only need to be made to be evident, and my

erudition would be of little value

 

THE 18TH AND 19TH CENTURY.

 

We have adopted to a greater or less degree various methods of

enjoyment, and have, by new discoveries, somewhat enhanced the

number.

 

The delicacy of our tastes would not permit the vomitoria of the

Romans to remain. We did better, however, and accomplished the

same object in a more pleasant manner.

 

Dishes of such an attractive flavor have been increased that they

perpetually reproduce the appetite. They are so light that they

flatter the appetite without loading the stomach. Seneca would

have called them NUBES ESCULENTAS.

 

We have advanced so far in alimentation that if business called us

from the table, or if it became necessary for us to sleep, the

duration of the meal would have been almost indeterminable.

 

One must not, however, believe that all of these accessories are

indispensable to the pleasures of the table. Pleasure is enjoyed

in almost all its extent when the following conditions are united:

good cheer, good wine, a pleasant company, and time.

 

I have often, therefore, wished to have been present at one of

those pleasant repasts which Horace invited one of his neighbors

to share, viz: a good chicken, a lamb (doubtless fat,) and as a

desert, grapes, figs and nuts. Uniting these to wine, made when

Manlius was consul, and the delicious conversation of the poet, I

fancy I could have supped very pleasantly.

 

At mihi cum longum post tempus venerat hospes Sive operum vacuo,

longum conviva per imbrem Vicinus, bene erat non piscibus urbe

petitis, Sed pullo atque hasdo, tum [Footnote: Le dessert se

trouve precisement designe et distingue par l’adverbe TUM et par

les mots SECUNDAS MENSAS.] pensilis uva secundas Et nux ornabat

mensas, cum duplice ficu. Thus it was only yesterday I regaled six

friends with a boiled leg of mutton and a kidney A L’PONTOISE.

They indulged in the pleasures of conversation so fully that they

forgot that there were richer meats or better cooks.

 

On the other hand, let persons make as much research as possible

for good cheer; there is no pleasure at the table if the wine be

bad, and the guests collected without

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