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Keeping Secrets


    Chanel

I was awake with him laying next to me. I loved Jermaine for everything we been through regardless of what people say about us. He stayed with me when I was weak and he was there when I was gripping the keys to my first apartment and car."Finally you up", he said. I smiled got up and brushed my teeth. "So you was waiting for me?"
He smirked,"Chanel, you love making look like I can't live without you. Just admit it ." I turned and walked to the bathroom door and replied, "If I admit it then I will be looking pathetic with you."He flung off the and headed toward me. I ran to the shower,but he still caught me. "You sick?", he asked. "I don't feel like it. Why?" " Your forehead is burning! Your ears turning red too", he announced. I pulled away from him and walked into the room. "You meeting up with your Mom and Dad today?", I questioned to try and distract the attention away from me. " Yea, you coming or do you want me to stay and take you to the doctor?", He shot back with a smirk. "I'm fine, seriously matter of fact while you're gone I will find something to do, I'ma be bored if I don't.", I lied.
I'm actually not feeling bad, I'm just restless since 4 days ago and I think I have food poisoning from a restaurant since I'm throwing up every morning. "I'll be back in 3 or 4 hours depending on traffic, how slow I eat and how long they lectures gonna be about staying in college."He said. "I love you baby and don't forget to tell them I said Hi.", I replied. "Camryn called to see if you would babysit Cayden.", He said as he opened the front door. My sister obviously don't remember that I have a life. "Wait I - -" I was too late, as I heard his car drive farther away from our shared apartment. I locked the front door and walked to the kitchen.
As soon as I caught a whiff of Jermaine's leftovers from Wendy's, I was with my head in the toilet. I stood up and saw my washed out complexion in the mirror. I have been feeling weird for the last 4 days. "Knock, Knock?" I heard a voice say behind me. I turned to see Camryn standing in the bathroom doorway with Cayden in her arms. "You have a key to my apartment?", I said, shocked. "I made a copy from your keys one day", She explained. "Why it stinks in here? " " I was throwing up, food poisoning.", I answered. She exhaled. "For a second I thought you was pregnant!", she joked. She stopped laughing when I turned around and walked out to the living room.
She put Cayden down and followed me. "So you are? Or are you just playing?", Camryn said as she furiously sat down on the sofa. " It just happened 4 days ago when we went out to eat because Jermaine is doing really good in his classes." I quickly answered. " So I bet he got a straight A in your class.",She smartly remarked. "So what you gonna do IF you are having a baby? You ever thought about how it's gonna affect Jermaine and you and how you gonna take care of all the expenses?", She questioned. I turned to her, " I'm thinking about keeping the baby, parenting can't be that hard." "Something the size of a single cell, can turn into the 1 -year-old sitting in that corner playing with a transformer toy.
Matter of fact I'm gonna call Jermaine and hear what he thinks about this!", She annouced. " Wait! He doesn't know yet. No one knows accept you.", I revealed. She looked at me and then turned around and bust out laughing. "Chanel! Just think about how he reacts to when somebody steal his parking spot, so how he gonna freak out when you tell him you pregnant?!??", my older sister explained. I walked away from her and looked at her. "Well, can you go so I can talk to Jermaine about this?", I snapped at her. She rolled her eyes, grabbed her toddler and left. I sighed as I her slam her car doors and drive away. I love my sister, but she needs to realize that I'm not her and Jermaine is not her baby daddy. I know Jermaine is not like that and he loves kids, for a short period of time.

Will You Be My Baby Daddy?




20 minutes later I heard Jermaine open the front door, when I was in the kitchen downstairs making tacos. He hugged me from behind. "Hey, how was your meeting?" I asked. He let go and smiled. "It was alright this time, they just told me to stay in school and my Mom surprised that I'm responsible and not doing stupid shit or asking her for money every week." He explained. I shrugged and closed the fridge. She was a huge pain. She never liked me, but she but she never completely says it either. "What's wrong,Chanel?", Jermaine asked. "What you mean?", I replied. I never lie to him. Even when I want to I just can't. I'm nervous to tell him, but I'm nervous that if I wait to long he will eventually find out on his own. "Did I do something wrong?", he questioned. "No, I just have something on my mind that I've been thinking about."
I looked Jermaine in his dark brown eyes and I began to remember the day I fell in love with him. It was at a party and every black girl in the room was making sure they tracks and sew-ins was straight for him that night. He was looking that good,and he know he was all that and a bag of chips and the drink that night. From the moment he walked in,you would've spotted him anywhere on the crowded dance floor with his bright highlighter neon jacket and matching converse that were visible in the dark and he was the only male not dancing. Jermaine just stood on the wall watching everyone on the dance floor ignoring the desperate non-wifey material continued to drool on him the whole night. I was looking cute too with my blue skintight dress and black pumps with spikes on the back. I was out with my friends who wanted a night of freedom. I stood against a wall and ignored the men who were looking for their booty call of the night.
Jermaine and I were glancing at each other the whole night. The night ended, and I thought I would never see the cute boy I wanted to get to know ever again,but I was wrong. I was going to a friend's birthday party, and Jermaine turned out to be her cousin. Ever since, we have been communicating and then we got an apartment together. "You heard me baby?" Snap out of it. "What you said?",I asked. "These tacos are good,but they didn't fill me up for nothing. Let's go out to eat." I wasn't full either,I was throwing up more than half of what I ate. "Let me get dressed.",I said as I walked back to our bedroom. I went in the shower and then got dressed in a cute turquoise shirt with blue skinny jeans. Jermaine got dressed in a red and black Adidas shirt with the matching shoes and black jeans. We left in his '09 black Impala. "What you wanna eat tonight?", he asked. "It doesn't matter to me." All that my mind goes back to is how am I gonna tell him that I'm pregnant and don't even if I want a baby.
30 minutes later we arrived at The Grape in Phipps Plaza in Atlanta. A girl was standing inside by a computer right when we walked in. "Hello,Welcome to The Grape! May I ask if you have a reservation?" I want to answer Hell to the no, but I will leave it to Jermaine personally this time. "Yes,Johnson.",he replied. So,he had this all planned out. We followed her to a table in the back, which had a lot of privacy. A candle was in the middle of the table with a bouquet of flowers. "Thanks.",he said to the waiter as she placed our menus on the table in front of us. "You planned this out,didn't you?",I asked. He looked up and smiled while showing his dimples. "Maybe I did. But I know one thing...",he said. I looked at his smile and put down the menu in front of me. "What are you up to?" "You going to see when we get home." I smiled as I chose what I was going order to eat.
Sure thing he meant what he said. After we ate, as soon as we got through the apartment door, Jermaine was all over me. He hugged me and was kissing on my neck as we walked down the little hall to our bedroom. "Bae,I have to tell you something.",I said. And of course he wasn't listening. Instead he takes his shirt off. Great,now how am I gonna tell him anything when is in his mood?
I woke up with my head in the toilet throwing up. Jermaine stood in the doorway of the bathroom and looked down on me. "You wanna go to the hospital or the doctor?",he said. I flushed the toilet and walked to the counter as I started to brush my teeth. After I was done I started to cry. "Are you crying?" I couldn't even speak. I know I have to tell him right here and right now with no excuses. I went to the bedroom with a clueless Jermaine trailing behind me. I sat on the bed and he sat next to me. "You think you have the flu?",he asked. I dried my tears and looked up at him. "I'm Pregnant."
Slowly but surely, he lost all the color in his face. I shook my head,got dressed and grabbed the keys. I drove around our apartments and finally got out the car when I saw the park. I walked to the swings and just sat on one of them. I'm just thinking of what is going through his mind right now. I would call Camryn,but I left my phone in the room. What if he wants to leave? What if it's either abortion or Jermaine? What if he leaves me even after I have an abortion? I just don't want to be one of those girls where my relationship ends because of a baby. After I stopped crying,I got in the car and went home. I didn't see Jermaine in the house so I thought he went somewhere. I put the keys on the living room table and walked back to the bedroom. I heard him open the door from the balcony.
"Chanel, there is no way that it can happen that

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