The Confessions of a Not So Popular Teenage Girl - Kennedi Mathis (books to read to be successful txt) 📗

Prologue

Not everyone is the same. People expect me to be like everyone else, but guess what. I AM NOT. I hate trying to fit in. It’s all a bunch of bullshit. I don’t play well with others. My dad thinks it’s because my mother is gone. But honestly I could care less. I don’t hate my life just everyone in it. I have had boyfriends, but I haven’t found one that will stick around. Believe it or not I’m kind of a bitch. For now I’m good with being alone. At least I have my brain on my side. I’m smart and that will help me farther in life then giving it up to a guy.

Chapter 1: Boring Mornings and Annoying Gym Classes

 

 I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock on my phone. I got in the shower and washed my medium length brown hair. I put body wash on the Loofah and washed my body. I am five foot seven. So I’m not short but not extremely tall either. I wear size 15. But I have a forty c cup bra. I got out of the shower, put on my bra and underwear(I don’t wear thongs they are disgusting and I hate the way they feel, I usually wear boy shorts.) Then I put on a pair of leggings, my black tank, and a hoodie. I took my hair out of my towel and I took the blow dryer and started to blow dry my hair. As soon it was dry, I took my crimper and crimped my hair. I then grabbed my makeup and put on foundation, concealer, and powder. I then drew a black line on my tight line top and bottom then I put some mascara on and no eyeshadow. Then I brushed my teeth. Finally done getting ready, I grabbed my backpack. Then went into the kitchen for some Lucky Charms. It’s only seven ten so I have twenty minutes until the bus gets here.

“Morning Dad,” I said as I was getting my cereal. He is a stay at home dad, so we are kind of poor.   I run out to the bus. (The only ride I have to school.) It’s almost the end of the year. I’m excited for summer. I’m a Freshman in High School. I go to John F. Hodge High School. I’m fourteen and I don’t really have a lot of friends. I have two really good friends(Madi and Prosser.(I’ll talk about him later.)) and then everyone else is just an acquaintance. The school is just for Freshman through Seniors. So there isn’t that many people that go here. Probably about 400 if that, and I know that there are only  100 in my grade. I’m not sure about the other grades.

I went to my locker and grabbed my tennis shoes. (Cuz sadly I have PE first hour because the Counselors don’t know how to make a good schedule.) The bell rang. I went to the bathroom to change. (Honestly I hate girls looking at me get dressed.) When I was done dressing I went to the gym of course today was the day we had to run the mile. Fuck.

Chapter 2: Algebra and Daydreaming

 

Second Hour came along and I sit with Cameron and David, I’m the only girl. Unless you call Cameron a girl. (Well he is too gay to function.) Anyway, we had to take a test over Quadratics. Fuck. I didn’t study what so ever. FML. As we took the test. I kept glancing at Trenton.(Who is absolutely gorgeous.) Anyway we had a flirty thing. Then Cameron ruined it with obsessing over Cade and how he wasn’t there. Damn that  boy gets on my nerves(Cameron). As I ended my test I thought “Yep I bombed it.” Not to mention I was daydreaming about Prosser(told you I’d talk about him later). He’s blonde, has amazing blue eyes, and 6 foot.  

Thing about Prosser is he flirts way too hard and is really obnoxious. Which is how every sixteen year old guy is. I trust him but I don’t think I’d trust him with my heart. He is kind of has commitment issues. Which is not a good thing. He also is going to Prom with Merideth. I thought he liked me but I guess not. The life of an unpopular teenage girl. It is unfair how people who are popular get what they want.  It's absolutely ridiculous it's like the first class on an airplane. Only rich bitches get popular. 

 

Chapter 3: People Issues

 My parents split when I was nine and until I was thirteen I had to live with my mother who never gave me any real attention. She always made me feel like I wasn’t enough and I wouldn’t get her attention unless I was a whore like her. So July of last summer I decided to move in with my dad. I felt like it was better, but I didn’t realize my brother Adam was hanging around dad again but to me I didn’t care much for him, he raped me when I was little and ever since then my life has been hell. My dad also had a girlfriend named Anita. ( I honestly hate that bitch, she always gets me in trouble, it’s really aggravating.) Other than that I have a pretty normal life except for an annoying bitch named Anna that follows me around everywhere and asks like we are best buddies when in reality I want to slit her throat. Let’s just say I don’t play well with others. It's been really hard dealing with her and my mother. They are exactly the same person some how. All they want to do is hurt me. Which leads me to my next chapter. 

Chapter 4: Suicide Attempts and Hatred

 I used to be really bad about cutting and self harm but I never really knew why. I also tried to commit suicide but couldn’t really find the heart to do it. Cutting was kind of an escape from the normal world and just see the blood rush down my arm like a waterfall. I found it soothing. I never thought anyone actually gave a shit about me. Just because of what went down with my mother. Let’s just say we argued and basically she kicked me out and told me I’d never be able to live with her again. She thinks orgasms help her forget about what she has done in the past. When really it just scars me and tears me down to the point of suicide. I normally just take her yelling and end up crying away my eyeliner and mascara. In other words I'm weak and she is strong. That's the way she has always wanted it to be. Even my sister is the same way. Me and my Mother will never be close. It's the same thing with Prosser I have to guard my heart and myself.(She's my mother I should be able to trust her.) 

Chapter 5: Best Friends and Music

 The only escape for me is my Best Friends and Music. To me music has been there for me my whole life. It's the only thing I can go to without feeling like an Outsider. It makes me comfortable. In other words it's the only thing that hasn't left me or forsaked me. Best Friends help too. They are always there when you need them the most. Madi was there for me when I was battling with cutting and she's always there no matter what. It's kind of refreshing.