The Bad Few Season 1 - Tai Goodman (read novel full TXT) 📗

DISCLAIMER

This is a documentary with some offensive jokes, some sexual references, language, and other retarded things based off of the real life experience.

Episode 1: First Day

6:45 AM

Tifton, Georgia

 

Tai: “It’s 6:45 in the morning, do you know where your kids are? Either A, they’re in school like me. Or… B, they’re skipping, because of a lack of truen officers.

 

Today, I’m starting my Freshman year at Tift County High School. And… I’ve got a lot of stuff to check off on my list about the school and all. And.. I’m looking forward to seeing some of my friends.

And acquaintances.

Oh, I know I signed up for this documentary, I’m Tai Goodman. I am 14, Vietnamese. I have no brothers, no sisters, three dogs, and I exercise the school’s importance. I am smart, not because I’m Asian so don’t even try and be racist in your own head. I've had seven girlfriends, only one isn't white. And yeah.”

 

Tai stepped onto the bus and took a seat in a seat besides his friend, Leif.

 

Tai: “Oh, Leif? He’s a year younger than me. He’s also racist.”

 

“What classes you got this year?” Leif questioned Tai. Tai had a straight face with his lips sealed. “Umm… I know what I have but I don’t know where they are in the school.” Leif nodded and looked straight to the front of the bus. “My man, you are f***ed.”

 

“WELL THEY DIDN’T GIVE ME A SCHEDULE!”

Then some girl behind the two said, “You were supposed to get your schedule on Saturday.” Tai’s face turned red.

 

“fffffFU-”

 

THE BAD FEW

By Tai Goodman

Based off of reality

FIRST PERIOD

Tai looked at his newly printed schedule, and for first period he had Spanish II. “Dear Christ,” he told himself, walking into the room. It only had 2 students in it at the moment. One of them, short and young looking, stood out of his desk and said, “WELCOME to Spanish II!”

Tai: “Last year I took Spanish I online. You had the opportunity to take Spanish II if you finished and get both credits. BUT…. I had homework for other classes. And I want free time at home. And maybe to play a little bit of some Little Alchemy.

 

Now this year I have Spanish II, with no computer. SO now it’s twice the difficulty and you can’t use Google Translator without being caught.”

 

“Hey, man! So, where’s the teacher?”

 

The student looked around confused. Then he gained enough courage to confess: “Mmm… I AM the teacher.” Tai sealed his lips and nodded. “My mistake!”

 

MINUTES INTO FIRST PERIOD

 

"Buenos dias! And welcome, welcome to Spanish II. How many of you are excited for Spanish II?" 

The entire class stayed silent. He waited for a response. "ALRIGHT so anyways... This class is a credit class, and it's required to graduate. I presume you've all done Spanish I, so you already have one foreign language credit. And-"

 

Then another teacher bonked on the door. The teacher, Mr. Elizalde, turned and saw a face through the window. "Aww.. Man! I don't wanna talk to him!"

It was the French teacher from across the hallway, Mr. Williams. He opened the door and then talked to him, in Spanish. "Como es tu primer periodo en espanol?"

"Muy bien, y tu clase de Francias?"

 

"Bueno."

 

Tai was at his desk sketching a picture of Ozzy Osbourne getting shot in his face by a gangster looking criminal. Then the teacher reentered the classroom. "So, let's tell ourselves about one another. We'll start with..." 

He pointed his finger at Tai. "Senor, como te llamas?"

Tai focused his attention at the teacher. He looked around. "No, no llamas."

"Llamas? No, como te LLAMAS?"

 

"WHAT LLAMA, THERE'S NO LLAMA!"

 

"COMO. TE. LLAMAS!"

 

Tai surrendered and said, "Alright. I- I understand, I understand perfectly."

 

Tai: "Man F*** THIS SH**!"

 

SECOND PERIOD

Tai walked into his Algebra I class.

 

Tai: "I DID pass the accelerated math test. I got the letter and everything, but I didn't get put in the class. I dunno why. Maybe it was a mistake, probably because of the 21st century technology. Now I'm stuck in here, not in Geometry A. I'm trapped in an Algebra classroom. And I thought it was racist when she put me in the back of the room, but apparently it was to divide the gifted students."

 

Tai took a seat in the back of the room. "Welcome to Algebra-"

 

Tai: "That's exactly when I know that I'm in for a hell of a year, those THREE WORDS. Last year, there was one Algebra teacher. Most of her students with straight A's got one B, and the so-so merit roll students got F's. And in my world, F is for f***ing horrendous."

 

 

 

Tai looked across to his right, and saw Malle. "Hey! Hey Malle!" he called out. Malle turned her head, smiling, and flipped him off. 

 

Malle: "I've known Tai for... 3 years now. He was in my Physical Science class last year, which I sucked ass in with a 69. And Tai would probably make some sexual innuendo out of that. But there's this weird thing he did last year, he'd whisper to me from a far distance. From where I sat, it looked like he was saying, "DO YOU EAT PENIS?"

But when you answer with something like, 'Ew, no!', he would go, 'I said, 'Do you eat peanuts' you pervert!'"

 

 

Dylan turned his head. "Hey! Hey, Tai!"

 

Tai turned his the other way. "Who- WHO SAID THAT? This room is haunted by a spooky scary ghost!" 

 

Dylan: "I knew Tai since Primary School. We were good friends, and we kind of still are, depending on what he does that we find stupid."

 

LUNCH

 

Tai: "I told the crew to cut out third and fourth period, there's nothing interesting in there. It's just a bunch of filler that all of you would probably roll into a ball and toss it out."

 

Tai sat at a round table, surrounded by his (old) friends. "Hey Tai!" said John.

 

Tai: "John Michael Beaumont... I call him John Mikhail Gorbachev. John's that one type of white guy who takes nothing seriously until something serious arises. And he's usually on his phone when he's got his independence."

 

John: "How long have I known Tai? I met him without knowing who he was, he got me confused with someone else, named... Will McSomething. Then we talked about FNAF, Five nights at Freddys, and he left. We did go on a Seaworld trip together, ending with a lot of controversy."

 

Tai: "He got the first part right, I confused with him with someone from my preschool named Will McCrannie. He was a crackhead. BUT WHAT HE GOT WRONG, was that we talked about FNaF. I had a book series about how imaginations goes a long way and one episode was in Freddy's Pizzeria. FNaF is absolute trash and should burn in hell and die."

 

"So.. What classes you got, Tai?" John quizzed Tai. "Well I already had Spanish II, Algebra, and History... Now I have Garrick. And this class has as much enthusiasm as there are people living in the neighborhood on the moon."

John replied, "I have her class for 2nd."

"Welp, the sooner, the better!"

 

Tai looked to his right and noticed Jacob on his Chromebook. He peered around the laptop screen, to see a Fortnite video. "Son of a bi-"

 

Tai: "Fortnite is absolute bullsh**. There's a videogame company named EpicGames that made the videogame engine for PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds. They stole the game, and made it into a Disney Infinity 3.0 piece of trash. THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE BUY IT is because it's free. Get a freaking job!"

 

"Nice to see you again... Jackoff-"

 

"WHAT'D YOU SAY?"

 

"NOTHING! NOTHING! I said no such thing."

 

Tai: "Here's Jacob. He's an asshole."

 

Jacob: "Yeah, I know Tai. He's a retard."

 

Then there was a hideous obese troll looking named Jesse Boone. "Who's this guy?"

John introduced him, "This is my pal, Jesse! He's new to this campus."

 

Tai held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Tyler. Tyler Bateman!"

 

Jacob, without looking away, corrected Tai: "No you ain't! His name's Tai Goodman, don't trust his dumb ass." Tai grinned and said, "Hey Jacob, why don't you go back to your Fortnite and marry it so we can have a conversation where you're not in it? How about that?"

 

"Good for me so I don't have to talk to your gay ass."

 

"I am NOT gay, I'm straight."

 

"Straight as a circle."

 

"No, that's YOU. I'm straight as a 180 angle."

 

"More like 90 degrees."

 

Tai: "I hate it when people call me gay, I call them hoifers. People who call people gay, when they're actually gay and not the people they falsely expose. For instance, Jacob is a hoifer and a horescorch. Horescorches are basically double whores."

 

FIFTH PERIOD

 

Tai sat down in the bleachers- With Jacob. "God- Why'd you have to be in my class?"

 

"Same thing with you, Tai I'm sick and tired of seeing your face."

 

"Other way around."

 

The two turned to the left and saw bleachers covered in white matter. "The hell? What's with those?" Jacob asked. "Well someone was watching something extremely nasty AND..."

 

"Man, shut up Tai."

 

"BE QUIET, SHORTY!

 

Alright, listen up. I'm Coach Nelloms, don't call me anything else!"

 

Tai saluted and called out, "Yes SIR!"

 

Coach Nelloms frowned and looked back at his list. "Alright, that wasn't needed... So this is PE! Anybody wanna tell me what PE stands for?" The entire class was silent. "Really? This is high school and you all- Know what, forget it. ALRIGHT so, raise your hand if you can guess the requirements for this year?"

 

Tai rose his hand. "Wear tennis shoes?"

 

"Correct. Anybody else? There's two more."

 

Another girl rose her hand.  "You have to wear uniforms-

 

UNIFORMS....

UNIFORMS....

UNIFORMS....

 

Tai tucked his head in between his knees. Jacob inquired, "Tai, the f***? Are you an ostrich now?" 

Tai pointed up at Jacob. "Jacob, fall on a letter opener."

 

"I'm over here, retard." Tai redirected his finger and pointed at Jacob on the other side. "Jacob, run with scissors in your hands." Jacob smiled and said, "Scissors? HEY GUYS, WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT TAI DID-"

Tai punched Jacob in his crotch. "He was just kidding."

 

"I bet he was, next time you two fool around I'm writing you two up! Anyways, back to what I was saying: Yes, uniforms. They must be navy blue on the bottom and you must have a grey shirt. Decal or NOT. We sell them here for 10 bucks, or you can go by Walmart and buy the clothing separately. Either way, it's your call."

 

Jacob: "Sure sure, yeah. And Tai will go buy them at Goodwill."

 

Tai: "An outfit for TEN BUCKS? MAN, I get better deals at the... Walmart I go to."

 

"Alright, anybody else?" 

 

A boy raised his very skinny and indeed white arm. "Is it... Participation?"

 

"Great! Right on, PARTICIPATION. You must participate in able to get your points. By not doing any of these three, you will get a minus -60. Not doing one of them is a minus -20, each are a minus -20. You got that?"

 

Everybody surprisingly nodded. "Now you can get on your phones and stuff until the bell rings."

 

Then the entire three different classes pulled their phones and Chromebooks out. 

 

Tai: "PE is an absolute let down and was invented by the devil himself. THE