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The Wrath of a Beaten Woman


*****


Chapter 1


Staring into the mirror I couldn’t help but cry. The reflection of my swollen face was a sad sight to stomach, even harder to look at in real time. My large green eyes had lost the glimmer they once had, and with a large gash on my right cheek bone I realized I had been defeated once again. When had I let it get this bad?

Over the past few months he had gotten worse, apologizing every other time about how sorry he was and how he would never do it again. He was lying. I knew he was lying, but I wanted so desperately to believe his lie and not be afraid of him. There was so much good in him that I could see when he opened up to me. I remember four years ago when we met and it was one of the best days of my life.

I remember the day, that I had thought was the happiest day of my life, like it was yesterday. My only brother, Ryan, was getting married to the woman of his dreams and even though I hated the bright green bridesmaid dress I smiled the whole time.

Seeing someone you care about so happy just brings joy into your heart, and I knew that he was overfilled with undying love for his new bride. During the wedding I noticed a very handsome man smiling at me three rows back on the bride’s side of the church. His name was Eric Benjamin Lee. He was almost six feet tall with thick, dark brown hair. His teeth were so white they seemed to be glowing, and if I must say, he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen in person. I couldn’t keep from smiling back at him.

During the reception he had walked over to the table I was sitting at and asked for a dance. It felt like I had just been asked to my first high school dance and I was overcome with joy. I felt so safe and lucky in his arms that night, dancing the night away under the stars and white lights they had used for décor.

He smelled like the best of winter and a cool breeze during summer. I treasured everything about him, from the way his eyes seemed to pick up the moonlight and glisten under the stars, to the way his hands cradled my back like they would never let me fall.

Yes, we had come a long way from that amazing night to where we are now. I found some anaesthetic in the bathroom cabinet and started applying some to my cheek. I have learned how to cover my bruises and cuts well, but I knew that this one would probably scar if I didn’t put something on it.

I didn’t have to worry about covering up from my family anymore since I didn’t see them often. Eric and I had moved many hours away from my family back in Medford, Wisconsin to Alabama. Eric’s job was transferred to a plant here and at that time, he was amazing in my eyes and I would have followed him to the moon.

I still managed to talk to my mom and dad once every other day, and my brother once a week, but I missed them so much. As I applied the cream to the cut it started to burn and I had to hold my breath for a moment. The pain of the cream wasn’t near as bad as the pain my heart was in. My whole body was screaming, but inside I was starting going numb.

Chapter 2


I had so many painful memories, especially here recently. Some people may wonder why a woman stays in a relationship that causes her so much pain. And to be honest I cannot answer that for other women. Why have I stayed? Well I have stayed because I fear him and I fear what life will be like without his love.

Eric was from a very wealthy family and also made good money in the engineering profession. He had threatened that if I left him he would ruin my name, leave me broke, and would make it his life goal to make my life hell while I walked this earth. I fear the day that I die with his hands around my throat, and I fear the day that I had to live without him as strange as that sounds.

I hated him, but I also loved him so much; or did I? I confused my emotions lately between love and hate; I didn’t seem to be able to tell which emotion was stronger when I thought of him. Maybe I was the sick one. If I did escape and start over, who would love me? I was so screwed up emotionally and mentally at this point that I doubted I would ever love another man truly again. I doubted I would ever let another man in the way I had allowed Eric in.

I decided to put on some makeup so that I didn’t feel so bad about having a new shiner. It hurt to rub in the creamy makeup but I pushed through it until my black eye looked light brown. The last time he had gone off on me still played through my mind.

We had been watching television when my cell phone rang. I picked it up to see that it was an unavailable number. Eric grabbed the phone out of my hand and answered it. Whoever was on the other line hung up abruptly. Eric had sworn that it was someone I was seeing behind his back, even though I pleaded with him that he was the only man I wanted or was interested in.

He stood and hovered over me and faster than I could blink he had back handed me. The pressure of his hand was so severe that it knocked me onto the floor. I don’t know if I was crying out of fear or pain, but my tears just fuelled him. He then picked me up with his hand around my throat muttering about how he would teach me to go behind his back or something to that effect.

I remember my hands grabbing at his trying to loosen up his grip because it was getting harder for me to breathe. He took me to the bedroom, still with his hand around my neck, and with his other hand he thrashed away at my night gown until he had managed to remove it and then snatched down my panties. I started to sob harder because I knew exactly what he was doing. He pulled down his boxer briefs and forced himself inside of me.

I begged him to stop as he tore into me. He released his hand from my neck and then turns me over so that my face was down in the comforter. He continued until he reached his climax and fell on top of my lifeless body. He didn’t say much to me, only whispered in my ear that he loved me and that was the only reason he was jealous like this. I didn’t speak to him the rest of that night. That was the night that my heart turned cold and started to hate him.

That was a bad night, but tonight, I could deal with. Eric was getting ready to leave to go out with his friends as I finished touching up my makeup. “You look awful Maria, I think you should stay in and get some rest. I will be home later, don’t wait up.” I heard him calling before the door to our small ranch style home slammed shut. I was relieved that he was going to be gone for a while. A bath sounded so inviting as I undressed and turned the hot water on.

As I climbed into the tub I couldn’t help but notice the bruises on my legs and arms. Now that I was naked, everything that was impure seemed to stand out. I noticed on the upper part of my arm had four perfect dots in a row. It was Eric’s finger indentions. The sex with Eric use to be so passionate and loving but now it was rough and emotionless.

How could I still have love for him? How could I not want him dead? I couldn’t figure out why, maybe it was because I was holding on to the good inside of him still. He had been the only man I had shared my whole being with and I felt trapped and held back just thinking of life without him.


Chapter 3

I was twenty eight now, with no children. Most of my friends my age had at least one kid and were working on the second if they didn’t already have two. I thought about going to the doctor to find out if everything was fine since Eric and I hadn’t used protection for a year now and yet no babies. I wanted a child but I also knew that in our present state, that was the last thing we needed.

If I were to get pregnant Eric would use the baby against me and if I ever had the courage to leave him then he would try to get custody. I knew that he was not fit to be a father in his current condition. The truth was, I loved him so much that I thought in my head he would change if we brought a child into the world. I mean he didn’t use to be this way, who is to say he couldn’t go back to how he use to be and love me unconditionally and never want to hurt me again.

As I fluffed up some of the bubbles around me in the tub, I couldn’t help but remember the romantic night we had when we finally moved into this house. It was memories like these that made me continue to love him even through the hard times.

I came home from shopping for some things for the house and as soon as I walked in I started smiling. He had Marvin Gaye playing in the background and candles lit all around the house. There was a trail of rose petals leading to the bathroom where he was drawing up a bath for me. He looked irresistible with no shirt on and his one tattoo wrapping around his shoulders. His hair was a beautiful mess, and when he smiled at me I just melted.

He was the most amazing man in the world in my eyes. Something about him made me love myself more. The vision of that day started to fade in my head as I snapped back to reality. Leaning my head back on the edge of the claw foot tub, I closed my eyes again and started to cry uncontrollably.

Chapter 4

It had been about a week since my breakdown in the bathtub and Eric seemed to be in a much better mood this week. We decided to plan a date night and go to one of my favourite restaurants in town. I was excited and rummaged through my closet for something nice to wear. I found a yellow sun dress and matched some dainty

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