For a Girl - J.T. D'Arelli (audio ebook reader txt) 📗

my missing my penis, rather than sensing my new opening.

As the nurse led me to a cafeteria, I came to another understanding. The Lord taketh away, but the Lord also giveth. I felt empty down below — but the presence of my breasts more than made up for it. Every step I took produced a jiggling sensation — my swollen nipples felt as though they were floating in space, far in front of my torso. The tank top stretched against my breasts, producing an itching feeling that was half irritating, half pleasant.

I arrived at the cafeteria, famished. Ravenous, I loaded up a tray with various salads, pastas, etc. The room had two groups of people, the guys from the class who were still male, and those who... weren't. I joined the second group. Birds of a feather.

Todd was already there, halfway through her meal. She looked up at me.

"Jack?"

"In the flesh."

"Jesus, you're pretty. How are you doing?"

"About the same as you, probably. I'm just trying to hang in there."

Two other girls were with us. One was a cute redhead with an array of adorable freckles, the other was perhaps the most beautiful of us all — classic Ethiopian features and a flawless dark mocha complexion. Both, like Todd and myself, were utterly feminine in appearance. They were dressed in the same casual combo I had on — and all four of us filled out our tops very well. In fact, I may have had the edge in that category, though the others were certainly no slouches.

Great. I'm not only a girl, I'm stacked to boot.

The redhead introduced herself as Billy, the black girl as Jerome. It was so incongruous to hear the masculine monikers used by such attractive young women, and I realized for the first time I was going to have to change my own name. We attempted small talk for a few minutes before we started to discuss the day's events. During our conversation, we noticed the other table of boys casting surreptitious glances at us. I could guess was going on. Half of their attention was based on male appreciation for four pretty girls in tight tops. The other half would be wonder: "Am I going to look like that?"

I could understand their interest, for the three girls I was sitting with were very captivating in appearance. In my old male form, I probably would have had a semi just from seeing their nipples poking out the thin cotton fabric. In this body though, desire manifested itself in a different way — I felt a slight tingle in my own chest and a hint of warmth between my legs. I quickly turned my thoughts away.

"So, what did you think of the exam?" Billy asked.

"All the dignity of a 'Jerry Springer' episode," I responded.

"It was sooo embarrassing!" Todd chimed in. "And to think we've got to go through it every year." She shook her head, her blond hair waving.

"Just wait till we have babies," Billy said. We all looked at the freckled girl in shock.

"There's no way I'm ever going to let a guy get me in that condition," Jerome said emphatically. Todd and I seconded the opinion.

Billy smiled at us. "I wouldn't be so sure. Remember Erin?"

I had to credit that. Erin had not been shy about her female sexuality. She had been very willing to make out with a boy. And if could happen to her, then...

Todd said to Billy, "You don't seem all that upset about the prospect."

"That's because I'm not. I kind of like being... this way." She looked down at herself, contemplating her new form.

"Already?" I asked incredulously.

"Dr. Turley did say 20% of the boys ended up preferring life as girls. I feel... special as a female. I can't really describe it, but there's something about this body that appeals to me. I even like the idea of dressing it up. I'm looking forward to seeing how I look in lingerie, skirts and all the rest." She blushed, but met our eyes steadily.

"Did you want to be a girl before GB?"

"Nope. I'd always been a little curious about what it might feel like, but I was happy as a guy. But it's as though some kind of switch was thrown inside me — I'm really excited about all this." She seemed almost bubbly.

"Even the exam, didn't that faze you?" Todd asked.

"Actually, it was almost like... validation. As if it proved how female I am. And I liked having it proven."

Wow. Granted, Billy looked like a very attractive, perfectly normal young woman. So for her talk about wanting to wear skirts and frilly underwear made sense at face value.

But she'd been a boy six hours ago!

"How can you stand this?" Jerome asked her. "I hate it!"

I looked at the lovely dark-skinned girl, her haunted face framed by glossy black curls. She continued in a low but heated tone, "Every breath I take I feel these... these tits. I'm so fucking small and weak, I've got this pussy between my legs and I know damn well what I look like. Every guy will want to jump me. And I'm gonna have to wear bras, have periods and all this other girly shit. I don't want any of this. And you sit there and say you can't wait to get into a dress? How? Tell me how you can cope with this — cause I can't see living another day in this body, let alone a lifetime."

It was Billy's turn to seem shocked. And since Jerome detested her new body to the same extreme Billy loved hers, neither could see the other's perspective. As for me, I felt I was closer to Jerome's position than Billy's. But I wasn't at the point of despair. I'd jump at a chance to go back, but now that the worst had happened, I thought I could at least live with it. Hearing Jerome say otherwise made me scared for her. I remembered Doctor Turley's story about the suicides.

I tried to reassure Jerome. "I'm not thrilled with this either. But it's not like we have to put on tutus and join a dance team. If we just take it slow and look out for each other, we can get through this."

She looked flatly back. "You think it's going to be any easier for you, white girl? With that alabaster skin of yours, that perfect hair and those nipples you could dial a phone with? Your chest alone is going to make every dude hard. Or are you like Billy here — all ready to put on crotchless panties and go trolling for studs?"

All three of us were taken aback at the vehemence of her speech. The expression on her face softened. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you. I guess I'm just acting like a... bitch." She smiled wryly for a brief instant. "It's just so hard for me. I know it's no joyride for you, but being black makes it different."

"How?" Todd asked, brushing her blond hair back.

"Do I have to explain it? African-American culture places a great deal of value on brothers being tough, strong, and independent — due to what we have to go through in this society. And before you interrupt, I know white boys are supposed to be all macho, too. But be honest, it's not the same. You've seen the movies, read the books, listened to the music — you know what the image is — a black man never wants to appear anything less than in total control of himself."

Tears welled up in her huge dark eyes. "But how can I be in control when I'm in the middle of PMS, or have to worry about my skirt flying around on a windy day, or some guy takes a shine to me and he outweighs me by a hundred pounds?"

I'd thought about those things too. I'd already come to understand being a girl meant surrendering a certain sense of independence. Between the body and the culture, it was difficult for a girl to feel in command of... anything. Of course, Erin's demonstration earlier today (remember when she flashed us?) had proven that girls did have some power. But to take advantage of it meant fully accepting being a girl in every way. Billy may have been up to it, but I doubted I was — and it was for sure Jerome was not.

"I'm sorry," was all I could say to her.

She looked at me and smiled, which made her even more gorgeous. "Don't worry, Jack. I'm not going to do anything bad — I'm just frustrated, that's all. Actually, you're the one who's got the biggest challenge. Are you going to keep running the mile as a girl?"

"You know about me?"

"Hell, yeah. I'm more into sprints, myself — but everybody in the track world is up on you. So are a lot of other people. Breaking the four-minute mile? Damned impressive."

It was my turn to be morose. "It doesn't look like I'll ever do it again."

Jerome didn't try to spin it. "It's a tough break for both of us, man." I winced at her use of the term 'man'. She turned to Todd. "How are you doing?"

The pretty blonde replied, "Not too bad so far. Having four sisters kind of paved the way for me."

She was about to continue when a nurse came up and said it was bedtime. As we said good night to each other, we seemed a little bit more at ease than before. It was definitely true — GRS was helpful. Just being able to talk to other guys... girls who were going through the same thing made it better.

Todd and I arrived back in our room — dreading what was coming. We had to get ready for bed. I went ahead of her — into the bathroom where brushing my teeth was the first normal thing I'd done today. I washed my face, marveling at how it felt different to my hands — the slope of my nose, the shape of my chin. And the skin was so soft, so clear! I'd never had many problems with acne as a boy, but now my complexion seemed almost to glow. I constantly had to brush my hair back — a mannerism I was learning quickly.

It was still surreal to look in the mirror and see someone else's face. Yes, there was a slight resemblance to my former self — but for all practical purposes, I'd become another human being. And I had no idea who she was.

God, would I ever get used to this?

As I cleaned up, I was intrigued by how tiny my hands were. They seemed no bigger than Sue's — almost like the hands of a child. And yet they were so fine, so evenly proportioned. I spent nearly five minutes just looking at them. I'd never smoked a joint (bad for training) but I imagined I looked like someone who was high, fascinated by the mundane in a Thoreau-like way.

Todd knocked on the door, her soprano voice asking if I was all right. I said yes, then proceeded to the final shock my body had in store for me tonight. I needed to pee. I stared at the bowl at which I would never aim again. No writing my name in the snow for me. Slowly, I tugged down my pants and panties, and sat.

And sat. And sat.

I had to concentrate to learn what muscles to relax. Just when I was about to give up, the stream suddenly erupted from my body. I gave a little gasp as it happened — it seemed as though I had less control over things than before. I know it's silly, but I missed being able to direct the flow. When it was over, I carefully wiped as I'd been shown. God! To put my hands between my legs and feel nothing but space was eerie. But the sensation of my... vulva being