For a Girl - J.T. D'Arelli (audio ebook reader txt) 📗

A sad smile spread across Jerome's lovely face. "I was young, healthy and very good-looking before all this." We chuckled.

I spoke to Beth and asked the pretty redhead if she still felt the same way as she did last night.

"Oh, yes, Stephanie — especially after my shower." She blushed. "If I were offered a chance to go back now, I might just turn it down. This is... exciting!"

Jerome shook her head. "My hat's off to you, Beth — but I can't see how you feel like this."

"Just give it time, Jerome. Speaking of which, have you chosen a name yet?"

"You know I don't want to. Picking a girl's name for myself would be like saying I agree with everything that's happened."

Tamara interjected. "I hear you, Jerome. But it's like we were told yesterday — the rest of the world is not going to change for us. They'll see us as girls, and if we have boy's names, we'll just get more negative attention."

"Intellectually, I know you're right... Tamara. But I'm still a man in my heart — even though I'm carrying these tits above it. I know I have to go along to get along, but it's..." her lips began to tremble. "Damn... I cry all too easily now." All three of us reached over to hug her.

Jerome looked up at us, tears running down her face and managed a weak smirk. "Well, it's not completely bad. I've got three hot girls fussing over me. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead, no less."

We all laughed. Then we were escorted to the first class of the day. Underwear.

Actually, it was the first of a series of blocks on girls' clothing — which we obviously needed. Todd... Tamara could have figured things out on her own, since she grew up in a house with five females. But the rest of us were completely clueless. When we arrived in the room, we found a smiling Erin waiting for us, dressed in a long blue robe with a floral pattern.

"Well, I see you all have crossed the great divide. I hope you are doing alright, because we have a lot to talk about this morning." After a few more pleasantries, she locked the door so we would not be disturbed. Then she got down to business.

"As you must know by now, being a girl is a lot more complicated than being a guy. That complexity is reflected in everything she does — physically and socially. The more you know, the easier it will be for you to adjust. So let's get down to basics."

"Women's underwear serves three purposes. First, the obvious hygienic one. Second, to accentuate clothing. When a man puts on a suit, it doesn't really matter what he's wearing underneath. But for a woman, her underwear has to integrate with what she's wearing on the outside — because she's far more likely to be showing skin. Stockings, bras and slips are all part of the package. And third, women's underwear communicates a sense of femininity to the woman wearing it, and the men around her.

"You've all heard the term 'lingerie', from the French, 'to linger'. As I can tell you, wearing lingerie is a very sensuous experience — it makes you feel girly. And when you feel girly, others treat you that way.

"Now, men's underwear and men's clothing in general, is utilitarian — that is, it serves a functional purpose. And to be fair, much of the time, the clothes you put on as girls will be functional as well. Not every minute is a fashion show.

"But," Erin continued, "most girls, including those affected by GB, do find a desire to indulge their femininity by wearing something frilly on occasion. It can be as simple as a lace pair of panties, or as all-out as a stocking and garter set. As teenage girls, you won't spend much time in teddies, corsets and the like. Those kind of things tend to be costumes, not very practical. But you will put on skirts and dresses once in a while, and you will find a strong desire to wear pretty things underneath them.

"I never expected to feel that way myself. I figured everything I'd wear would come right out of 'Jockey for Girls'. But after a few weeks as a female, I found that I liked wearing feminine clothes, including the underwear. It's fun and damn near... irresistible."

Jerome and I exchanged glances. I found Erin's statement hard to credit and Jerome certainly had doubts. Tamara and Beth seemed to be more into the possibility.

Erin stood up, and smoothly removed her robe. All four of us took a deep breath, appreciating what we saw. Billy... Beth may have already been thinking of herself as a real girl, but even she could not help but be impressed by Erin's fine body, dressed only in a skimpy yellow bra and briefs. My, she was nice.

"Now what I'm wearing is a slightly more exotic version of what you should wear every time you leave your home. As you can see, I have on a bra with matching panties. At a minimum, a girl is expected to wear some kind of underpants and a bra whenever she is in public. There really is no occasion you should ever be without panties." She suddenly gave a naughty smile. "Well, there is one occasion. Anyway, having your bra and panties match is not mandatory — in fact, it's quite normal not to. But I do like to have the set coordinate — it's... cuter that way." She giggled.

"When sleeping, your breasts — as you've no doubt discovered — are quite sensitive and do need to be covered. Typically, a girl wears panties and either a sleep-shirt or a T-shirt to bed. Of course, there are all kinds of pajamas you can put on as well, including the famous baby-dolls that have lots of lace and ruffles. But usually, girls prefer to sleep in something practical."

Then she began a detailed description of the different kinds of panties. Briefs, hipsters, bikinis, low-rise, high-cut and, most bizarre, thongs. And the different fabrics — cotton, nylon, Lycra, polyblends. She modeled a few different types for us — changing right in front of us. I enjoyed looking at her lovely curves, while realizing sadly that her nudity didn't bother her in the least — why should it? There were no boys in the room. And so she gave us a chance to see how the different fashions looked. God knows she looked good in all of them.

"Now for bras. Women wear bras for modesty — you don't want to encourage guys by putting yourself on too much display. The goal for a girl is sexy, not slutty. A woman also wears a bra to keep her chest... under control. As you have all seen, things can bounce around quite a bit. A bra helps with that. As GB girls, you have a bit more in the breast department than many of your peers, so bras are all the more essential." That was followed by an even more extensive display of all the various types of bras — demi- cups, underwires, sports bras, and on and on. I noticed she did turn her back while changing — but I could still catch glimpses of her full chest. Quite fun.

Then came slips. As Erin explained, many skirts and dresses are rather sheer — to prevent too much exposure, slips create a smoother, more subtle line. Pantyhose and stockings were discussed as well.

"Fashion for teenage girls these days rarely requires slips and stockings on a regular basis. Most teen girls do wear dresses from time to time, but usually prefer bare-legs or tights. Tights are easier to put on, don't run so much, and create the feeling of wearing pants — which is reassuring when your hem of your skirt is no lower than your fingertips."

I had absolutely no intention of wearing anything of the kind. Jeans would do just fine for me — I was not about to force myself into all this... this girl stuff. I knew I'd have to wear bras — one look at my prodigious chest made that abundantly clear. But as for the rest, I planned to take full advantage of the freedom girls had to wear the clothes of the opposite sex.

As if on cue, Erin spoke again. "All this may seem ridiculous, but the key is to experiment and develop your own style. One of the greatest things about being a girl are all the options. A teenage girl can wear just about anything she wants. It's a blast to try on a dozen different sets of clothes and suddenly find an outfit that's... you! And you can count your blessings you were not a girl in the 1950s — where you would have been forced to wear dresses, crinolines, stockings and garters every single day."

Jerome (she really needs to get a girl's name) and I shuddered at that. Even in the 21st century, dressing like a girl seemed — in Erin's words — ridiculous. I was growing weary of all this.

We finally took a break and I went to see Janet Barlow, the GRS program manger. I asked her to place a call to my mom to have her pick me up. She expressed doubt about my readiness to leave GRS.

"Are you sure, Stephanie?"

I cringed at the sound of my new name (word had gotten around fast), but shook it off. "Yes, I am. I've completed the transition, my physical says I'm okay and I'm not really interested in getting my hair done or putting on make-up. I'll finish the paperwork — after that, I'm out of here."

Ms Barlow sensed a bit of tension in my voice. "Jack... Stephanie, you need to understand something — bailing out of the course now will not improve your odds of success for a successful mental transition to womanhood. I know having all this thrown at you is overwhelming and you feel a need to escape, but you can't run away from your own body."

"Look, I know what I am now — I'm just can't revel in it the way Billy... Beth does. I'm not trying to run away from anything, I just have to pace myself. If I need lessons on make-up and so forth, my mom can help me."

"You say you know what you are. What are you, then?" she asked, looking at me pointedly.

"I'm a girl," I replied, meeting her eyes steadily in return.

"And?" she prompted.

"I'm not a boy. I'm in no hurry to put on dresses or date people — but I know I'm female and I'll always be that way. I'm not going to waste any effort seeking to convince anyone I'm still a guy." I touched my chest. "I mean, what would be the point?"

I was trying to project a sense of acceptance I didn't really feel. But I needed to get out of this environment — it was far too much to take in. Jesus, I'd just spent an hour learning about women's underwear! I'm not ready for more.

"Stephanie, I get the feeling you may be resigned to being a girl, but you haven't really accepted it in your heart. We have more counseling sessions coming up today — I think you'd benefit."

"Maybe another time, Ms Barlow. I know I'll take years to adjust to all this — but for the moment, I want to move at my own speed." That I was able to say honestly.

She looked at me thoughtfully, nodded and placed the call to my mom. "She'll be here in an hour."

Just as she was about to resume, the door to her office burst open and a distraught Jerome entered. She was in tears, her slim shoulders shaking with repressed sobs.

"Are you okay?" Ms Barlow asked the beautiful black girl.

Jerome struggled to reply. "I... I can't do this! I just can't be... like this!"

Ms Barlow walked over and put a comforting hand on