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want to see him.”

“I have to involve him. He has a good lawyer for you.”
“Why would I need a lawyer?”
“When you go to court to lock up your offender-“
“I don’t want him going to jail.” I scooted off of her lap and looked at her, “It will ruin his life.”
“He ruined your life first!” She yelled, then she took a breath and held up a hand, “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
“Sophie?”

“I’m coming.”
          I got up and jogged up the stairs. Danny stood in the hall. When he saw me he pulled me into a tight hug.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, face smashed against his chest.

“Bad dream.”
“Tell me.”

“Another time. I have to take a shower and make sure my siblings are okay. I’ll be back over soon and we can go job hunting.”

He kissed my head and was gone. Nothing is wrong with his twin siblings Taylor and Tyler. I think my situation shook him.

“What am I going to do with you huh?” I put a hand on my stomach, “I tell you this much, I’ll always protect you.”

“Honey?”

          I looked over at Mom. She smiled and held the phone out to me. Of course. I took the phone and pressed it a little too hard to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Sophie!” He sounded surprised I would get on the phone, “Oh God, are you alright?”

“I’m fine Dad.” I bit the inside of my cheek.

“I know you are still mad at me, and that is fine. You have a right to be. But I found a couple you can take the baby.”
“The baby?” I snapped, “My Baby is staying with me.”

“Are you sure?” He wanted to know, “Because you still have our whole life ahead of you. Babies are a big responsibility, and I just don’t want the baby to derail your life. You have so much poten-“
I stabbed the end button with my thumb and held the phone out.
“He really does want the best for you honey.”

          I shook the phone and she took it. I wondered if she secretly felt this way too about the baby. That is was derailing my life plans. Sure it was a little early to take care of a baby, and No, I had no idea what I was doing, but the fact that I was going to have one, still remained. He or she was coming, and everyone better just get used to it, because I was keeping my baby.

I took a shower and got dressed. I stood in front of the mirror sideways and smoothed my hands over my shirt. Could you tell yet? There was a knock on the door and I jumped. I looked over at Danny.
“I uh, I was just-“
          He walked over and put a hand on my stomach. His thumb rubbed over my belly button, and then he smiled.

“What do you think they’ll be when they grow up?”

I smiled too, “Whatever they want to be.”

“We have to let them know that we support them in whatever they want.”
“Even if it’s odd?”
“It’s not odd if they are into it.”

I smiled, “I want them to do whatever they want to do. I want them to be so confident that it intimidates others.”

He laughed, and nodded, “But we’re not going to have any money to support them if we don’t get jobs.”
“Yeah.” I snorted.
“I was thinking that we could head over to that strip of tourist shops. I hear a few of them hire minors.”
“Okay, yeah I’m ready.”

          We headed over to the strip and put in applications. I paused at the door of an empty shop. There was a girl sitting on the floor surrounded by Boxes. I opened the door and she hurried to her feet spinning around. l She had to be in her early twenties.

“I’m not ready yet.” She informed me. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else.”

“What is this place?” I looked around.
“Used to be a candy shop I guess.” She stood next to me as we took in the shop. “I’m trying to make it into a coffee joint slash library.”
“Huh.”
“Free Wifi though.”

“With the purchase of a muffin.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t ever give anything for free. The business will fail. I totally dig what you are trying to do here, but you should make that back area on the wall look like a coffee bar. Instead of counters with the register do a pastry window display.”
“I like it,” She nodded. “Except I don’t Bake.”
“Hi.” I held out my hand, “I’m Sophie, I’m sixteen, love to bake, and I will work for the minimum of minimum wages.”

“No.” She shook her head, I’ll hire for seventeen dollars an hour because you’ve really just saved my ass kid.”

“What is that?” I nodded at a door.

“It’s a kitchen. I guess they used to make their own homemade truffles back there.”

“Can I look?”

“Sure.” She lifted an arm and then bent down at a box.

          I poked around in the kitchen. If she got me a mixer and a few bowls it was on. I could make my famous family recipe of cherry cheese cake and just cut it into squares to sale. This is the thing I needed. I would never have to be home when Dad came over, and it would get my mind off of HIM.

I didn’t want to think of HIM, but somehow I always came back to him. I left the kitchen and came back into the main hall. I saw Danny across the street. He pulled out his phone, looked at it and then put it to his ear. I walked over to the window. My phone vibrated, and I answered it.
“Where are you?”

“Look up.”

He looked up from the ground and I waved at him. He smiled and waved back. He jogged across the street and came inside.

“Hey.”
“I got a job here.”

“That’s great.”
The girl walked over, “Hey, I’m Milow.”

“Hey.” He shook her hand.
“You know, Danny is quiet the handy man. He’s a computer whiz and came make a mean cup of coffee.”
“Sounds good enough to me.” Milow shrugged, “My Dad thinks that this place isn’t going to amount to anything, but I’ll show him.”
“Yeah we will.”
I high fived her.
“Can you guys start tomorrow at Nine?”

“I’m free.” I looked to Danny.
“Me too.” He nodded. “I can drive you.”
I nodded, “What should we wear?”
“Just jeans and a T-shirt for now. We’ll be doing a lot of moving around.” She turned to a box.
Danny looked at me, eye brows raised.

“Um, yeah, I can’t really do a lot of heavy lifting,” I said, as she turned to face me.

“That’s okay. You two can be on shopping. Yes! You can go to Ikea and get tables and chairs. You can get bowls and stuff to bake with.  Whatever ingredients you need.

 I have a guy coming at nine thirty to hook up a new doubled door fridge and double topped stove for you tomorrow. I’ll give you guys the shops credit card. If you guys could get like eight to twelve retro book shelfs too that would be great. I have a work van coming in too you guys can take that for the load.”
“Sounds good.”
“Thanks guys. See you tomorrow.”
          We headed out of the shop and back over to where Danny parked the car.

“Well that was a lot easier than I thought.”

“And at seventeen dollars. We’ll need to get you a car.”
“I don’t need-“
“You do. When the baby gets here and I’m at work, you’ll need a car to take them to the doctors or wherever else you need to go.”

“What I need to do is start stocking up on baby stuff.”

“Don’t buy diapers and wipes until the baby is born.”
“Why?”
“Well because what happens if the baby ends up being allergic to the brand you pick?”
“Oh, that’s true.”

“Buy a crib or blankets.”

“A car seat.”
“There you go. When the baby gets older we’ll need a second car seat.”

          The two of us headed to my house and sat in my room with note books. I had the following written down: Crib (bedding and extra sheets) Stroller and car seat combo, swing or glider, changing station and maybe a bassinet of some sort. I bit at my thumb nail, and peeked at Danny’s list: Socks, Bath tub, onesies, Blankets (swaddle wraps, burb cloths). I watched as he wrote down wash rags. He would make a it in this raising a kid business.

 Me however? I’d be hiding in the closet with a bottle of cheap wine and a good book. I slapped my note book closed and dropped it on the bed pulling my knees to my chest. I glared at the note book.
“You okay?” He looked over at me, “What happened?”

I shrugged a shoulder.
“Come on.” He handed me the book, “Don’t give up so easily.”

“Danny, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”

“That’s why you have me.”

“I’m not ready for a baby.”
“You’re sixteen.” He laughed, “Who’s ready for a baby at this age?”
“What do you think the baby will think when they grow up and find out I wasn’t ready for her.”
“That you are a normal teenager. It’s not like you don’t’ want her.”
I took the book.

“Right?”

“Right.” I nodded.

“Then we should probably get back to our lists.”

“Right.” I opened the book.

          I pressed my pencil to the paper three times before I sighed.
“Do I want to formula feed?”

“Breast feeding is better.” Mom said handed me a plastic bag, “For the first three weeks or so.”
I took the bag and dug through it.

“What’s this?” Mom picked up my book.

“It’s a list of things I need for the baby.”

She looked over the list, “Let me see the pencil.”

          She waved her hand at me and I handed over the pencil. She wrote for a bit and then handed me the book back.
“I’m going to start on lunch.”

I read what she wrote and she left. Danny waved for the book and I handed it over.
“ Medela and willow breast pumps,” He read out loud, “nursing pads, milk storage and freezing bags, Lanolin cream, pregnancy pillow, breast feeding pillow, medela feeding bottles, rocking chair, crib- How did I forget those last two?”

          I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes, “We are so not ready for this.”
“You’ll see Sophie, as time goes on we will be. There is books and classes youtube birth videos=”
“Mm-mm.”  I waved a hand, “I cannot think about pushing a human out of my body.”
“Well that is the last stop.”

“Unless I have the baby cut out.”
“I hear the healing process is horrific.”
“From who?”

“My Mom has a friend who had one. She said her cut got infected and she had to get it recut open and they had to clean her out and then sew her up again. They take out all of your organs and plop them on the table next to you.”
“Huh.” I nodded, “How do the organs not die?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, “I guess the doctors are fast.”

“Vaginal birth it is. What about epidurals? Have any thoughts on that ol’ wise one?”

“My Mom says her back is screwed up. We should ask your Mom.”

“Yes, I would love to talk to my mother about my baby by rape.”
“Careful,” He wrote something down, “It almost sounded like you don’t want the baby.”

“What do you want?”

“I actually don’t mind. I just want the baby to know how much I love them.” He nodded, and then looked at me, “I mean how much you love them.”
“Your this baby’s parent just as much as I am.”

“Can I be in the delivery room?”

“Uh, if you want.”
“Sophie, you’re my best friend, of course I want to be there.”
“Well.” I smiled flipping to a new page in my book, “Names?”

He sat back against my head board, “Eli.”

“Okay,” I wrote it down.

“Haven.”

*

          I rolled over and started at my alarm clock. Here’s my choices. Get up and shower or sleep for another thirty minutes and then get dressed and head out to work. I sat up and ate two gummy prenatal vitamins. No use in trying to sleep when I know I couldn’t.

No need to think about past events.

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