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Baby by Rape Becca Marien

6 Am.

That’s when the door bell had gone off waking me. As I stumbled to the door all I could think about is how the person on the other side of the door better be bleeding to death, or there would be hell to pay.

“Ta-da.” My best friend said, holding a white bakery bag.

“If those are not doughnuts, turn around and go home.”

“They are,“ He laughed pushing past me.

   We sat down and dug into the bag.
“How you doing with Jessie moving?”
“I’m actually glad she’s gone.”
“Really?”
“Yup.”
“But she was your best friend.”
“Why is it such a big deal that I’m fine?”
“Because I know you Sophie. What happened in the past couple of days before she left?”
“Nothing.”
“Sophie.” He looked at me in his get real way.

     That was the million dollar question though wasn’t it? What had happened that night. The night that Jessie had finally talked me into going to a party. She made it look so glamorous. She did my hair and makeup, let me borrow an outfit, and promised to not leave me. But she did. And I did get raped.
“I thought she was your best friend.  You two where always together.”
“Correction.” I licked my finger, “You’re my best friend.”

“Okay.” He nodded, taking a sip from his mini milk carton. “You want to know a bad thing about having the same best friend for years?”
“There aren’t any.”
“They know when you are lying.” He took a bite, “So spill it.”

“Nothing happened dude.”
“I know something happened Sophie. I want to help you, and it’s killing me that you won’t let me.”

          I shouldn’t have gone off with him to ‘Talk somewhere more quiet.’ I shouldn’t have trusted someone that I saw every single day at school for the past few years. I shouldn’t of-“
“Sophs.” He hit my knee.
“Huh?” I looked at him.

“Tell me.”
“Do you remember when we were nine and we used to write each other notes and stick them in each other’s mailboxes?”

“Yeah?”

I raised my eyebrows.
“Oh!”

We set our doughnuts on the table and headed outside. He jogged across the street and stood at his mailbox. I set a piece of paper on my mail box and wrote those three words I was dreading to tell him. To tell anyone actually. I folded it as small as it would go and then jogged across the street.

 I stuck the not in his mail box, closed it, put the flag up and then ran back across the street standing on the curb. I watched him open the mailbox and carefully unfold the note.

“Hey Danny?” I called.

“Huh?” He looked up.
“You can’t say goodbye okay?”

“Promise.” he was confused, but then continued to open the note.

          I watched as he smoothed the note out and read it. About three times. Then he looked up at me, and I smiled at him with a shrug. He crumped the note with a first, and dropped it to the Icey ground. He ran over to me, arms raised and the paused.
“Sophie,” He paused shaking his head, “I don’t know how to make this go away.”

“A hug for starters.” I nodded.
“Of course.”

          We hugged for a few minutes, him in the gutter, me on the curb.

“I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” I pulled back a bit.

“I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“You didn’t even know I was going to the party. It’s not your fault okay?”

“Please  tell me you at least went to the doctor.”
“No.” I dragged out the out.
“Sophie.” He sighed.
“I’m embarrassed, come with me.”

“Of course I’ll come.”

“What if I find out I have some random disease?” I asked as we walked across the street to his car.

“Then I have your back okay? Just like always.”

We went to a free clinic where they did ask if I was a minor. I peed in a little plastic cup and they did a pap smear on me. Not fun my friend let me tell you. Danny and I sat in the room for about fifteen minutes. Twenty more minutes passed and finally the doctor came in.

“The good news is you test results for all STDs are looking good.”
Danny squeezed my hand.
“What’s the bad news?” I wanted to know, “Whenever someone says the good news is, bad news follows.”

“It’s not necessarily bad news, but you did test positive on the pregnancy test.”

“Not bad news?” I yelled, and they both jumped, “what do you mean-“
“Thank you.” Danny stood up, shaking the woman’s hand.

          Danny took my hand and led me from the tiny clinic. I was pregnant. That A-hole Didn’t use a condom while he raped me? Who does that? Now I had to bring a little baby into the world.

He couldn’t get rights to see the baby could he? I’d shoot him.

“Sophie?”

“Huh?” I looked up at Danny.
“Are you ready?”

“Oh, um, yeah.”
          I got into his car and he shut the door. I had to give birth. I had to grow up. I needed a job. I needed my own car. How much was a car seat? A pack of diapers? Danny drove me home, parking at the curb.

“Hey Soph?”
“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to let you know that whatever you chose to do about the baby, I’m with you.”
“I know.”
“But we have to tell your Mom.”
“Yeah, I know that too.” I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, “She’s going to be so disappointed in me.”

“It’s not your fault Sophie.”
“Yes it is Danny. I lied to her about the party and because I am so not the effing party type, I left to the den with this guy.”
“So uh, What’s the guy’s name?”

“I didn’t pay attention.” I waved it away.

“Well if you remember, let me know okay?”

“Yeah.”
“You hungry?”

“We should get a pizza.”
“You up for it?” He started his car. “I can order in.”
“I want to go out.” I nodded.

“Okay, then we go out.”

          We drove over to the little pizza shop and headed inside. I sat on the bench as Danny ordered our pizza and soda. I wonder if I could get a job here? I had to get a job somewhere. Mom was already struggling with me as it is. 

She couldn’t financially take care of a baby too. I hope she wouldn’t involve Dad. That was the last thing I needed to worry about. Why did the pizza smell so damn good? Like I could eat an entire pie to myself.

I probably could to be honest. With the order payed for we headed home and sat at the table in the kitchen. We ate our food, and stayed there. I watched Danny walk around the kitchen as He threw away the pizza box and plates. I sat up a little more and looked at him as the door began to unlock.

Okay, here we go. Danny nodded at me and sat down. I hurried to grab his hand. I listened as Mom shut the door, kicked off her shoes, and set her bag and keys down. She sighed about something, probably the abandoned doughnuts.

She walked into the kitchen and paused. She just looked at us.
“What happened?” Her tiered shoulder sagged, “What’s going on? I know you two.”

“I’m pregnant.” I blurted.

          She paused, then she sat down in the chair across from us and just started.

“Do you even know how much a baby is?”

“I can get a job.” I muttered.
“I’ll get one too.” Danny offered.
“No-“
“Yes,” Mom nodded, “He will.”

“The baby isn’t his Mom.”
“Then whose is it?”

          Danny pulled me into a hug as I started crying. I thought I was done crying. Why was I always crying about this?

“She was raped.” Danny muttered.
“Oh my god.” She got up and hurried around the table and sat in a chair.

She pulled on my sleeve, and I turned to face her.
“Please don’t be mad at me Mommy. I’m so sorry.”
“No sweet heart.” She took my face, “No.”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about the party. I should have just stayed home.”
“Hey,” She pulled me into a hug, “We have to take this one thing at a time okay? First it is not your fault Sophie, and Daniel it’s not yours either.”
          Danny slowly nodded, as if he needed an adult to tell him this.

“Okay.” Mom nodded, “Are we going to keep the baby?”

“What?” I looked at her.
“I’m just saying that there is options.”

“I’m keeping the baby.”

“Okay.” Again she nodded, “Daniel, a baby is a huge responsibility. Now is the time to back out.”

“I’m in.”

“Okay then. You need to get jobs to take care of the baby.”
“That’s fine.” Danny nodded, “I’ll go job searching first thing in the morning.”

“Do you have any STDs Sophie?”
I shook my head.
“Okay. So you two look for jobs tomorrow, and I’ll set up a doctor’s appointment. I have tomorrow off so I’ll go shopping for better food and prenatal vitamins.”

“A baby.” I shook my head. “That’s where we’re at now.”

“Hey.” Danny rubbed my back, “We got this.”

I nodded.

“All we can do now is get some rest. Danny why don’t you bring her upstairs okay?”

He nodded and took my hand.
“I am sorry Mom.”
“Get some sleep honey.”

I nodded, and let Danny take me upstairs. We lay in my bed with a sliver of space between us. I was soon getting a head ache trying to stay awake.

“Don’t leave okay?”

“Never.” He said, as I faded in and out.

 

          I stretched out for Danny, feeling cold sheets. I quickly sat up and looked around. He said. Danny was asleep on the floor next to the door. He still felt guilty.

I caught a glimpse of the early morning sky through my window as I got up. I grabbed my confuter and arranged it over him. I moved his arm so I could open the door and slipped out. I quietly headed down stairs. Mom was sitting at the table with a mug.

Her eyes where red and blurry and she talked on the phone.

“I’m at my wits end. I needed to talk to you.” She was saying.

          I hid behind the wall next to the kitchen arch and sat down on the floor.

“Sophie needs your help. I’ve done all that I can think of.”

“What happened?” I could hear the angry voice from here.

Dad.
“She’s pregnant Mitch.”

I sighed, not hearing his next question.

“No that Daniel kid isn’t the Father.” Mom was defensive. “I don’t know, She was raped at a party that she snuck off to. No, don’t do that, she’s sleeping right now. And you know what? Danny has stepped up for our daughter in a really big way that no sixteen year old should have to. Why don’t you think about that before you point the finger of blame?”

          The phone gave off a light beep as she hung it up. She sighed. The chair scooted back, and her slippers padded across the floor. She set the phone back in its charger box, and then made her way out of the kitchen.

“Sophie.” She gasped putting a hand to her heart, “Honey, what-“
“Does he hate me?” I looked up at her.

“He’s a little upset.” She rang her hands.

I pulled my legs to my chest, “Good.”
          She sat down next to me and put an arm around my shoulders.  I allowed my head to rest on her shoulder.

“He’s not upset with you honey, but with your-“ She paused, “The baby’s father.”
“He is not the father of my child.”
“Sophie” She said slowly.

“Spit it out Mom. I know you.”
“It’s just me and you know, Danny is upstairs. Do you know the name of who did this to you?”

I nodded, crying yet again.

“Oh my love,” She pulled me onto her lap, “I never meant for this to happen to you.”

“Stop saying that as if it was your fault. Danny keeps doing that. He’s sleeping on the floor in front of my door, like he can protect me from the next offender.”

“Ah yes, Daniel,” She laughed a bit. “Hold on to that one.”

“I will. Always.”

“Your Dad is coming over tomorrow.”
“I don’t

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