The Open Mind - Shiri Fitzgerald, Kayla Jones, Nishara Holmes (good summer reads txt) 📗

I'm dating a boy in my class, but he spends more time with his friends than me. I don't want to break up or anything, but I hate being left out and bumped to second place. What should I do?

Kay- You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re being left out or bumped to second place. Simply talk to your boyfriend about it, nine times out of ten he has no idea he’s even doing it sometimes (boys are majorly clueless about these things sometimes).

Shi-  If he cares about how you feel, he’ll work on it. And if he doesn’t, then he’s not worth your time. But just give him a bit of time. Old habits die hard.

Shara- The good thing about this is that you’re not alone. Tons of girls and boys feel the same way about their significant other, it’s common. As Kayla said, I highly recommend you have a talk with your boyfriend. As the old saying goes “Communication is key in all relationships”. Let him know how you’re feeling but also allow him to express himself as well. Again, as Kayla said he probably doesn’t notice he’s doing it. Hopefully, after hearing each other and understanding where the both of you are coming from you’ll be able to reach a solution or compromise that will bring change. Hope this helps!  Wish you both the best. Also, let us know how everything goes.

 Last weekend at a party, I hooked up with my boyfriend’s best friend. I love my boyfriend, so I don’t know how it happened. Now I’m afraid he’s going to find out. Should I tell him myself? I don’t want to break up.

Kay- One, if you loved your boyfriend and his best friend was really his friend that wouldn’t have happened… at all. Two, he might find out the hard way (gossip) if you wait too long to tell him then by finding out from you. It might be inevitable that you’ll break up and you should be prepared for that happening. If you don’t break up then you might’ve just lost all his trust and you’ll have to work hard to gain it back.

Shi- But you’d have a better chance if you own up to it. Finding out from the source is always 10 times better than finding out from someone else. At the very least he’ll respect you more when you break up. IF you break up, that is.

Shara- I would recommend that you absolutely without a doubt tell your boyfriend. Put yourself in his shoes for a second, would you want him to keep something from you? Such as cheating on you with your bestfriend? Honestly, be accountable for your actions. Everyone makes mistakes. I will say, if you didn’t want you and him to break up, why put yourself in a position that makes a break up HIGHLY possible?. Also, what’s done in the dark will eventually come out in the light. It’s best that you tell him yourself than anyone else. Don’t worry about a breakup, just focus on telling the truth. And may the odds ever be in your favor! Hope this helps. Let us know how things work out.

 I used to have a very good friend. But we grew apart. She was always calling me a baby and telling me I was going to get stomped on in high school. What should I do? She’s getting on my nerves.

Kay- Chances are she isn’t your real friend. Friends don’t break each other down but instead build each other up. Is she saying she won’t be your friend if you aren’t popular because she was never your friend then. Really just talk to her and try to explain what it’s doing to you. Maybe y’all need to re-evaluate your friendship.

Shi-  You shouldn’t let anyone talk to you just any kind of way. If she can’t respect you and doesn’t understand how what she says affect you then maybe your friendship has run its course. Not everyone is meant to be a friend for life.

Shara- I recommend that you have a talk with her, communication is key in all relationships. Let her know how you truly feel about everything. IF she’s your friend she will understand and change her ways towards you. If not, she’ll continue to show you her true colors. But, don’t worry, Friends come and go and as Shiri said not everyone is meant to be your friend. Hope this helps! let us know how things go. Hope you two can work it out.

 I used to have a friend. Then she started talking about me behind my back and out of the blue, she stopped being my friend. But I miss her. What should I do?

Kay- She wasn’t a friend to begin with because friends don’t do that type of shit. If you miss her then you need to remind yourself that she wasn’t a very good friend and know that you can do better than a fake one.

Shi- Obviously she wasn’t a good friend to begin with. Real friends don’t drop you for nothing. If you know you said something that would hurt her in any way, then you have to man up and apologize. But if you did nothing wrong and she still treated you like that then I don’t think she’s a friend you should be trying to hang on to.

Shara- Wow, this hit home for me because I can relate. I know how you feel. My question to you would be Have you forgiven her for talking about you behind your back? Forgiveness is the first step in growing and overcoming obstacles and situations such as this. Also, “friends” come and go, the real ones just so happen to last longer than the fake ones. Also, do you still have her number? Is there a way you can contact her? If so, do it. Be the bigger person and let her know that you miss her. Maybe, you’ll be able to reconnect soon and possibly be friends again. Hope this helps!. I wish you the best of luck!! Let us know how things turn out.

 What to do when my friends are split up? I have some friends that can’t stand a friend of mine. Want to be friends with all of them but it’s really hard. What should I do?

Kay- Don’t stop liking him/her just because your friends don’t like them. If they’re that important to you then tell your friends to man up and accept your friend because you like them and they mean a lot to you. And if that one friend is doing something to the group of friends then you need to talk to that friend also because you need to let them know that your group of friends mean a lot to you also.

Shi- You don’t have to do everything. Wouldn’t be fair for you to not like them just because the others don’t. Be friends with those whoever’s company you enjoy. And if (or when) they talk about each other, you don’t have to bite their heads off about it every time. That’d just stress you out. Just don’t join in. It’s possible to support both groups without them stepping on each other’s toes.

Shara- Well, As Kayla said, do not stop liking a friend because your other friend doesn’t like him or her. That’s unfair and not cool at all. If they are your real friends they will be able to respect the fact that you’re cool with a friend that they do not like. You should never have to choose sides when it comes to friends. Talk to them, let them know how you feel. Hope this helps! let us know how things turn out.

I have a boy from school that likes me. We’ve gone out before but I broke up with him. Now he wants a second chance, and no matter how many times I say no, he keeps asking. It’s so annoying. Should I say yes just to get him off my back?

Kay- Hell no, don’t say yes if you don’t want to. Persistence isn’t always good