A Sinless Betrayal - Cherie Benjamin (paper ebook reader .TXT) 📗

kid's a warrior that kills people and wrecks things, but with me he's just a sweet guy. "I saw you dancing with a pretty girl," I comment.

Instantly his face goes red as we begin to dance to the music. "I'm dancin' wit' one right now," he says, trying to distract me. I laugh softly and shake my head.

"Her name, Black Bear," I demand playfully.

He swallows thickly before answering me in a small voice. "Laughs In The Sun."

That's a beautiful name, perfect to go along with a beautiful girl. I nudge his shoulder. "You are old enough to marry, no?"

He pulls me closer to him to avoid bumping into another couple. "Don't mean I t'ink 'bout it," he tells me. "I don' really know what I want. I jus' go wit' 'de flow of t'ings."

I nod my head and grasp his hand a little tighter as we move to the beat of the music. "Any news on the war?" I whisper to him.

He shrugs. "Not much since last time. Bellechester made 'dere alliance wit' Pateros and they are still coming up with battle techniques. But we've made cannons an' cat'pults and I t'ink 'dat the odds of 'dem winnin' are slim to none."

As the night sky darkens and stars begin to rise higher into the sky, the winter begins to come back around. A cold gust of wind causes both of us to shiver. Some of the servants go around and begin lighting torches so we can see. Black Bear and I dance close to a fire for the sole purpose of keeping me warm.

"Do you ever get afraid of what might happen when the war comes?" I whisper the question, looking out past his shoulder at Abigor, who has broken away from Radiant Moon and is talking with Iron Coyote.

Black Bear nods. "All 'de time. You ain't never got no way of predictin' the outcomes. People die all 'de time, Tiger Claw. But when people die for a purpose it's a lot diff'rent. Imagine all the stars in the sky. Those are all souls that have passed on to 'de afterlife."

I chew my lip and look up at the stars. "Are you going to fight in the war?" I ask him.

"Of course," he replies. "The king has given me 'de honour of protectin' 'de kingdom."

I could never imagine counting all of the stars in the sky, or how many human lives are taken with wars and raids. "And are you afraid of dying?"

He shrugs his shoulders and sighs. "Ever'one dies." He looks down at me and locks eyes with me. "Dyin' in battle would be a most honourable death."

This makes me a little angry. He is not afraid to die and would be honoured to be speared on a forked sword in battle. "And what of the people who love you? Your sister, your family, and god forbid you have a wife and children. They would miss you."

"Life…takes its course," Black Bear replies nonchalantly.

I pull away from him and stamp my foot on the ground like a petty child. "Then I command you not to be killed in battle. I am your Queen now, and you must listen to me."

He stands still and looks at me with a certain interest, his jaw hanging slack. I press my lips into a firm line before walking away to join my husband's side.

0o0o0o0o

I am sitting back on my throne next to Abigor, clutching his hand tightly. I have been acting like a mute ever since my conflicting opinions with Black Bear. My mind runs rogue with all of the talk of war. He notices my distress and moves a tendril of hair behind my ear. "What troubles you?" he asks me.

I shake my head, not willing to talk about it. But he only moves closer with a frown painted onto his lips. He will not drop this.

"Tell me," he insists.

I sigh and jerk my head towards him. "Are you afraid to die?" I ask him, my eyes wide and searching for an answer.

He shifts in his place a little, crunching his brows together. "What brings this up?"

"Just answer the question," I whimper, biting my lip.

Abigor leans back in his chair and looks up at the stars. "Everyone will die at some point in their life. There's no way to predict death…but no, I suppose I'm not. But if I had to choose one way to die, it would be in battle—"

"But why?" I ask, cutting him off. My eyes are wide and glistening with tears. "You would rather die at the hands of an enemy's sword than in bed, comfortable, holding hands with your lover."

He blinks at me, his lips unmoving. I can't look at his beautiful face anymore. I bury my head in my hands and rub at my temples with my fingers. "Gods, I'm so afraid…" I whisper. "This war is so close and no one even seems to care."

He still says nothing. This bothers me.

"You know, I've lived there all my life, except for these past five months with you. They are a cunning people. They've always attacked when their enemies least expect it, and it always ends in a massacre. You can't just sit there and tell me you don't care about the war and that you're not afraid of dying because, goddamnit they could be outside of those goddamn walls just waiting for the perfect time to strike! I'm afraid, everyone's afraid! I don't want to live if you're dead!" I'm ranting before I even know it myself.

He licks his lip, leaning his chin into his palm. "Are you finished?"

I open my mouth to say something, but I close it. I look down at the ground and blush a deep red colour. I can't believe I just went off on him like that. "Y-Yes."

He hooks a finger under my chin and turns my face towards his. "I am afraid. But I will never show it because I'm supposed to be the strong, brave person that all of the afraid villagers will look to. Beyond those walls is dirt, and sea, and grass. No common white folk from your iron kingdom. You must know, Elizabella, that I will always protect you no matter what. I would take an arrow through the heart one hundred times before I'd watch you die."

The look in his eyes makes me believe him. With the pad of his thumb, he wipes away all of my tears and kisses the tip of my nose. "I love you so much," I murmur softly. "I don't know what I'd do without you anymore."

"And I you," he whispers. "Now wipe that worry off of your beautiful face and go and have some fun. Drink some wine, laugh a little, and brush off the side effects of the oncoming war. I'm always nearby. You don't have to be afraid anymore." Crux

I'm leaning against him on the couch situated near the fire, my head resting on his shoulder as my eyes scroll through the pages of a book. As I sit up a little bit, I feel like I've just been punched in the stomach…but from the inside. I gasp in shock and put the book aside.

He'd just been dozing off a little, but my loud gasp causes him to jolt awake. "What?" he asks me groggily. "What's the matter?" I don't even know. I touch my stomach just as I'm 'punched' again. I realize that it's my baby, kicking in my stomach.

I let out a breathy laugh and take Abigor's hand, lifting his hand off of his lap where it is resting. "Feel my stomach," I tell him. His hot, huge hand settles over my protruding little belly just in time to feel the baby kick his hand.

He sits up a little. "Is that…" Without my answer, he puts his hand on my stomach again. The baby kicks even harder this time, somewhat knocking the breath out of me. The child is stronger than I thought unborn children could be.

I nod my head at him. "The baby." I finish for him. He looks up at me, a look of pride in his eyes. He rests his lips against my temple as his hand makes circular motions over my stomach.

"He's strong," Abigor comments with a clever grin. "I've always known that our baby would be strong."

I raise my eyebrows and smile at him. "How did you know I would be the one bearing your children?" I ask him. "You could have been having babies with a foreign princess."

He pulls me closer to his chest and strokes a thumb down the side of my cheek. "I've always known it'd be you," is all he says to me. And that's all I need to hear.

As the baby settles down inside of me, I catch a glimpse of the first snowfall of the winter season. I gasp and run to the window. "Look, it's snowing." Big, white flakes float down from fat clouds in the sky. He joins me at the window and watches as the green grass slowly turns white as a blanket of fluffy snow covers it. He frowns and shakes his head, turning away from the window. I frown. "What's the matter?"

He grits his teeth. "I hate winter and snow and the cold." He goes to sit in his great bearskin chair by the fire, grabbing a glass of wine to numb the pain of past memories. He drinks it down quickly.

I stand by the window, looking at him as he soothes himself with the red drink. "Tell me why you don't like winter then," I ask him, grasping his arm. "I have always thought that winter was a majestic season. Everything becomes white and the ground sparkles in the sun like it's made of pure crystal."

He is staring into the fire, the glass of wine in his hand. "Winter is when everything dies. There are no leaves on the trees, the warm air has disappeared and the animals seem to run for cover. Winter leaves everything dead."

"But…" I twiddle my thumbs awkwardly. "But everything grows back in the springtime."

He reaches over for his pipe and lights it with a spark from the fireplace. "My mother died in the winter. So did my sister and White Fawn. Ten years before was when we attacked Pateros. We lost many men that winter." He inhales on the pipe and then he pulls away, smoking curling from his lips. "Winter only brings death."

I decide that it's best for me to pull the animal skin curtain over the window to spare Abigor the agony of watching the snow blanket the grass. I'd always thought of winter as something beautiful, but this new enlightenment makes me rethink everything.

When I go to him, he opens his arms and pulls me close to his body. I revel in his scent, smoke, pine and wine. His hands roam over my body, trying to feel the deepest connection with me without taking my clothes off and just cuddling flesh to flesh.

With my height, I'm easily tucked underneath his chin. I listen to the rise and fall of his breath as he calms down slowly. His skin is very hot, but as I hold him tighter it begins to cool down a little. It's like I'm