A Sinless Betrayal - Cherie Benjamin (paper ebook reader .TXT) 📗

lead some of his men into the forest. He's told me before that part of being a barbarian king was participating. Unlike the previous king I had lived under (King Phillip of Bellechester), he does not sit around all day and point his fingers here and there, directing his army from the comfort of his bedchambers.

I'd begged him to stay with me for the fear of Abigor getting hurt constantly haunts my dreams and thoughts. He'd refused me with a kiss and instructions to help him put on his armor. I make sure that there are no holes in which an arrow can miss his armor and scrape his scarred skin. "Then I won't go outside," I reply to him softly. "I wish you'd do the same."

He sighs and slips his finger under my chin. "I've told you before, my love. A king's job is to lead his people, and I will lead my people to victory." His thumb runs over my bottom lip as he bends down to kiss me. I let his tongue invade my mouth, succumbing to his passion. "I will return."

I break away from his warm embrace, clutching my fur shawl tighter around my shoulders. The crystal headdress on my head jingles from the sudden abrupt movement. My long, unruly curls frame my face, hiding certain emotions from his eyes. "And if you do not?" I whisper. Nasty, vile images flood my mind of him on the battlefield and my vision becomes blurred with my tears.

His huge arms wrap around my frail body from behind and my back is pressed up against his metal armour. I still feel his warmth. His lips are on my cheek, kissing me in attempt to calm my fears. "I will always return to you," he whispers in my ear. "Never doubt that."

When he asks me why I am so afraid and if I doubt his sheer strength the sadness fades as a little chuckle escapes my lips. He smirks; his reward is my smile and seeing some of his light. When he asks me if I doubt him, I shake my head. "I do not doubt you. I shan't doubt you. Ever."

I hear the bustle of soldiers shuffling down the hallways. Suddenly, the walls of Castle Rock shake and the sound of screams can be heard throughout the kingdom. I scream as the force of the mysterious quake shakes the earth and knocks me off of my feet. He runs to the window and peers out. One of the villages burns as frantic men, women and children run from their flaming homes and shops. "Bastards!" he hisses.

I rush to my feet before he sees me sprawled on the floor and scared out of my mind. I don't want him to see my weakness. I'd always shown him my stronger side, but I really, truly am afraid. He looks at me instantly, eyes raking over my face. He's asking for my blessing.

And I give it to him with my nod. In two steps he is in front of me, kissing me so passionately that it makes my knees buckle. He walks away before I can long for more of him. "I will return," he shouts at me over the screaming and the rumbling, pointing his finger at my heart. "I will find you."

I nod my head as I watch him rush down the hallway. I hear him screaming about the catapults and the cannons. He wants to strike back. I struggle to walk over the shaking ground as another fireball from the kingdom of Bellechester hits another kingdom. I'm crying before I can even register it.

I hate war. I hate death.

I'm walking down the hallway, dodging soldiers in uniform, their bodies painted red and cloaked in protective armor and skins. My arms wrap around myself. I try to imagine them as Abigor's arms, telling me that it's going to be all right—that this war is just a play fight between two feuding countries and that it would be over the next day. But I know he will not say it. This war will not be over in just a day. There is no way to predict its ending.

I rush into the harem room, a room I hadn't entered in ages. The girls all lay on their cots with their blankets pulled up to their chins. When I enter, some sit up to greet me. "Elizabella—I mean, my queen." Evalyn greets me, her short hair sticking in wild directions as she throws the blankets off of her body. "Here. Come take cover from this bombing."

She sits me on an empty cot and then goes back to her own. She sits, leaning against the cold stone wall with her knees pulled up to her chest. I pull the furs over my legs and lean against the wall too, trying to somehow block out the screaming of panicked villagers and the shaking of the ground as men charge off into battle and shoot balls of fire and brick at each other.

I rub my hands over my stomach, feeling my baby kick. The baby knows that something is going on. Ivona is crying softly in the corner of the room with her head buried in her arms. Camellia looks extremely distressed and Arlena knits to try and persuade herself to not cry.

I know not where Michelle is. Evalyn moves closer to me and looks at me. "Are you afraid, my queen?" she asks me, her brown eyes wet with tears. She shakes in the cold room.

"You may call me Elizabella," I whisper to her. "And yes. I am afraid. Afraid of what will happen to Stauckana and all her men."

"Why? You only care about your king. My love is at the front of that line, fighting for you." Ivona hisses at me. "My prince means more to me than your king ever will mean to you."

I have the urge to stand and slap her across the face. The father to my child, my husband, the man I love with every bit of my heart, is out there fighting right alongside Iron Coyote and she has the dignity to sit there and insult me. "How dare you?" I whisper. Another loud crash is heard somewhere far away in the kingdom. The walls shake and bits of stone fall from the walls.

Ivona wails loudly. "You don't understand!" she screams at me with fire in his eyes. "You are just a whore from that lowly kingdom Bellechester!"

I can't hold myself back. I jump off of the bed and dart across the shaking floor to grab her. Another quake hits the castle and all of the harem girls scream in terror, both at my wrath and at the shaking ground. I push her to the ground and Ivona screams. I'm so angry that I can't contain myself. She screams as her nose smacks into the cold ground and bleeds out.

My hand winds into her hair and tugs the black strands by the roots. "You will never say that again!" I scream at her. "I love him! I love him more than you could ever—"

I'm yanked away by Evalyn and Cassandra, who try to calm me down. Arlena and Camellia just watch Ivona cry on the floor, holding an old rag to her nose to stop the bleeding. They give her a disgusted look.

This war is making me go mad. I rush out of the room and down the hallway, tears running down my cheeks. "I can't do it," I cry softly. Abigor is gone. Black Bear is gone. The war is raging. Bellechester will try and assassinate me, I know it. They are known for their exotic poisons and skilled assassins. My baby kicks inside of my stomach. I cradle my growing belly in my hands and lean against the wall in the hallway.

I'm tired.

I'm so tired.

0o0o0o0o

3 DAYS LATER

There has been no word from Abigor. I go to sleep every night with a cold, empty bed. I long to feel his lips on mine, feel his warmth. The prince and the king have split their army into two halves; Iron Coyote camps in the Forest of Thieves with his men, and my husband takes refuge in the Jungle of Bones with the other half of the army.

I mostly keep to myself. My meals are brought to me by servants and I eat all my meals in the safety of our chambers—the chambers that I had once despised. I sit in Abigor's bearskin chair by the fire with a goblet of wine in my hand. I need the drink of dull my senses and calm me. Even though the servants bring me my food, I don't feel hungry. I barely even eat.

I read scriptures of ancient Hausa history at night while sitting by the fire. I sleep longer in the mornings and care not to talk to anyone. I don't even talk to Michelle, who is desperate to get into my mind and know what I am thinking. I don't care to talk about it at all.

I don't cry anymore. At night, I step out onto my snowy balcony in nothing but my silk robes, barely hiding my naked body in the outdoors. I pray to the moon gods to help my lover come back to me alive. The cold air bites at my skin and the freezing snow on my bare feet would be unbearably painful to anyone in their right mind…but my pain is numbed by my wine and my aching heart.

A bitter gust of winter wind blows my way and pushes me back a few feet. The moon gods are telling me to go inside before I catch a cold and kill myself. I step into the fire-heated room. Coming inside of the warm bedroom from a blustery outdoors is like I'm walking into a volcano. The sensations are thrilling. It makes me feel again.

I close the balcony doors behind me and shed my silk robe, letting it fall to the ground. I unwind my hair from the tight bun I'd had it up into and let my curls fall into tight spirals down my back.

I look at my naked body in the mirror. I smooth my hand over my stomach. My baby is growing faster and faster. He will be the king that rules the world one day, only to bend his knee to the gods.

I slip on my thick cotton nightgown and slide beneath my numerous bed covers. Even with all these blankets, I still don't feel safe and secure. I lay my head on the pillow and close my eyes. I'm hoping that the morning will bring a better day…and even bring Abigor back home to me.

0o0o0o0o

In the morning when I wake, it is midday. I have slept in and the servants have no even bothered to wake me up. I do not blame them. I have been irritable in the mornings and they've done themselves a favour by choosing not to bother with me. One of the servant girls has dropped off a platter of vanilla biscuits along with a goblet of milk for an early morning snack just in case I had woken hungry.

I dress in my deerskin pelt and put on my protective slippers that encase my feet in fluffy warmth. I'm feeling rather put down by all of this talk of war. I can't seem to focus and blood rushes through my head, giving me a pounding headache. I rub my temples with my cool fingers and exit my room.

In the hallway, I notice that it's oddly quiet for the middle of the day. I look around the castle and make my way down the hallways in search of someone. Someone to talk to, someone to reassure me that my kingdom's still safe and Abigor's still alive and well…but there's not a soul in sight.

I make my way down to Michelle's room. Drinks of Waterfall is also gone away with the war and she's been feeling blue lately, just like