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you again.„
“Joan's been driving us nuts doing tarot cards every
five minutes and screaming blue murder everytime she
turns over the hanged man card.„
“Uncle Brian and Auntie Connie came over
yesterday . I think I saw uncle Brian crying when you
rung up but I bet he'll deny it and say something like - big
boys don’t cry!„
I bathed in their joy and passion. Feeling so relieved
to see their shining eyes and hear their angel voices. The
bell rang, and I heard Joan giggling like a schoolgirl and I
knew that that could only be Brian. I looked up to see not
only Brian but also John, Peter and Geoff. Geoff carried
a case of Fosters under his arm and Brian carried a smile
122
on his face that could have made the sun shine in the
middle of a storm.
“Hey you stupid bugger, getting lost in the
desert!„shouted Peter putting his arms around me.
“I knew all the time that you'd make it back!„said
John
“Yeah he even laid down some bets with his
advisors and won a small fortune!„
“You and your big mouth Geoff, but if I
remember rightly didn’t I see you putting a ten dollar bill
into your wallet that Ray MacNamara put into your hand
as you both were standing outside in the carpark this
mornin ?.„
Brian came over and almost broke my ribs giving
me a bear hug, then he punched me in the arm and said
“Good to see ya again mate, I've been scared stiff the last
three days.„
John pulled us apart and gave me a sloppy kiss on
the cheek and said absolutly nothing - which I thought
very unusual.
They all sat around the table opening up bottles of
beer while Joan hurried over to bring glasses that nobody
noticed. Caroline and Sarah excused themselves and
hurried away upstairs.
“Did John tell you that we found the bastards.„
Said Brian.
“One of the Aborigines that found you, I think his
name was Baldy or something like that, put two rangers
onto the right track leading up to the place where they
were holding you. It was raided six hours ago. They
found all kinds of right- wing propaganda, weapons and
artillery , and five men who won't be out of jail until their
hearts stop beating.„ We all cheered and then I started to
tell my dearest friends how I survived those three days in
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the desert , getting interrupted every now and again by
Brian telling jokes about bush grub, Frogs that could bite
your toes off and other attempts to hide his feelings. John
told us that the statistics state that the survival time in
that part of the desert was between six to twelve hours. I
knew that I was lucky but I also knew that if I hadn't
heard those stories many years ago and if I had not met
that girl with nine toes then I would surely have perished
out there beneath a merciless sun. I soon started feeling
really exhausted even though the Flying Doctors had
given me an infusion and something for the pain in my
hands and feet. I knew that I would need a few days to
get my strength back. I walked my friends to the front
door and I watched them walk over to their cars. Coming
back into the house Joan called me into the kitchen – she
had made fresh lamingtons. Sarah and Caroline were
already there filling there mouths with coconut and
chocolate covered cake. Caroline swallowed down her
cake, stood up, and coming over to me, slapped me
solidly in the face. “I want you to promise me right here
and now that you will never, ever go anywhere without
your bodyguards now at this moment swear on your life.„
My cheek was burning and my eyes filled with frog
water. I could see her glistening eyes and her lips
quivering. Sarah was standing behind her with her hands
on her hips staring at me the same way Mary used to
when she was angry. I said “I swear on my life that I will
never go anywhere without my bodyguards - but only if
you swear never to sleep with a boy without using a
condom.„ They both screamed and hugged me at the
same time. Then we all three broke down and cried our
hearts out and Joan put the kettle on for a fresh cup of
tea.

124


The heart feels
The mind thinks
And the body follows


125

Chapter 24


I could hear Bongo barking and smell the fires
before I could see the people sitting down around the
campfire. Watoora came running up to me and threw his
arms around my legs and Bongo nipped playfully at my
ankles. I walked into the circle and they were all there
Waraala, Baldwa the Feathered One and the other faces
that I remembered seeing last time I was here. I sat down
and the same old lady came over to me and gave me a
mug of bush coffee - she smiled through her toothless
gums.
“Turawwa, this is the last time that you will sit in
this circle. We have guided you through challenges that
will change your life. You have learnt to trust yourself
and to believe in your intuition. You have learnt to see
the spirit within people to know who is with you and who
is against you. You have learnt about love. You have
learnt how to throw the spear of clarity teaching you to
speak with your heart. You have learnt about the
strongest love between people – friendship. You have
found once again your courage that you once lost. You
now know how to make your vision a reality.
In the past you were locked within the walls of self
pity and the addiction to suffering. Your ears were closed
to the words of your loved ones and your spirit turned to
the moon instead of the sun. We did not help you when
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you walked through the Fire Snake desert as we knew
that you must survive with your own wisdom and
knowledge – alone. Now that you have started walking
on the path of the leader that leads with the heart you will
never stand still and , moving forward, the songlines will
change just as you have changed. The true warrior knows
only love and passion and these two brothers will walk at
your side as of today and will never leave you. My last
lesson for you, my son, is mirrored in my dress, I am the
feathered one and a feather is so light that it can even fly.
But even when it floats on the winds of the past it will
always return to the earth that exists only in the time of
now. The feather will heal you of your guilt so that you
can enjoy a life of lightness and fly in innocence.„
I could see the wrinkles around his eyes getting
deeper as he smiled a crooked smile. Then he came up to
me, took both my hands into his gnarled sandpaper - dry
hands, and in utter silence turned into smoke. Looking
around at the others, I could see them all waving there
hands to say goodbye. Then the smoke of the fire swept
over the meeting place and my friends returned one by
one back to the dreamtime. I sat down on the empty
ground and opening my right hand I saw the white
feather lying there ,fluttering in the breeze. I closed my
eyes and going deep inside I heard her voice calling me.
“John. My love are you now ready to listen?„ I
opened my eyes and I could just make out what looked
like her face in the flames of the fire. “We have been
allowed to speak with each other ,but just this one time
my darling. This is a time for forgiving. A part of my soul
still feels the hurt of your words but at the same time I
know that you have paid the price over the years. My
heart lives on within the breast of our two daughters and
also in the memory of you. Remember me as the person
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who loved you more than anything else in the world. Life
must go on, knowing that behind every tragedy there is a
message to understand. And my message to you is the
reality, that giving for love means taking for love and
when two independent hearts are open for each other
then love will live forever and when they are not open, a
part of this love will die. Listen to the girl with nine toes!„
The fire went out and I sat alone filled with the voice of
Mary and the words turned to ashes.


128


Stand up stand up
And show your face to the
sun
Wake up wake up
And open your eyes to the
truth
That the truth is you


129
Chapter 25


I walked over to the dresser and opening the
drawer I saw that the feather was gone. I walked out of
my bedroom, along the corridor to the kitchen smelling
the coffee and yesterday's Lamingtons, and went out the
back door. When I got outside onto the grass I took off
my shoes and walked down to the water. I needed time to
think and get myself sorted. The intensity of last night’s
dream was still lingering within my body. Looking down
at my hands I suddenly realised that all the blisters and
sores
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