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Family & losses!!.....



My life had just started, at only two months old the world was still a mystery to me, I had no idea what could happen and how much it would hurt and affect me and my family.

My mum always used to tell me when I was born it was the best thing that ever happened to her, I agree with her, but the good slowly turned bad.
The day of my mums wedding was a incredible day for my entire family, including me, safe and sound in my mothers stomach. A day for fun and joy, two people becoming one, I wish I was able to be there and witness my mum and dad saying, "I do." There marriage was happy but not long enough. Me coming along was the iceing on the cake, but that cake turned to crumble when my father died when I had only started to know him. Even though I was only an two month old infant and can barley remember anything what happened that awfel day, its the worst day of my life. My mother took it harder than any of us would have guessed, turning to alcahol and drugs she was defiantly not dealing with my fathers passing. Soon she became incable of looking after me on her own, so my granny took us in and looked after us for a while. After two long hard years my mother finally started realising she couldn't get my dear dad ,Paul, back, so she just started to try and continue with her life. My dads side of the family split with my mums because they just couldn't cope with the stress and bad memories we brought up. They somtimes come and see me on Christmas or Easter, but no more. But secretly I think its all my fault that my family broke was me coming into this fucking terrible world.

toddler age!!


My life as a toddler was just so fun for me because i didn't no about the death of my dad because at this age mum just kept telling me he went to work before i woke up and finnish late whilst i was sleeping. About the age of six my brother came into the world he was named "shane" but my mum had him with an other person, they stayed together for about three happy short years.
They both spilt up because darren (shanes dad) lived in Belfast and mum in ardglass, Northern Ireland. mum had to get costadey to get Shane to live with her.

I really cant say what happened after that but ill make a chapter of me the age im...................................................

teenage and onwards




It is still hard to talk about my fathers death but i am finally realizing that he isn't with me & my family, that hes in a better place somewhere were hes needed and that there's always a reason why deaths happen. I am kinda happy that he is away because i know that god wants him in a very special place up were we'll meet again and that ill be delighted to see all my family what passed away. im now a teenager and fine when people ask about him i can control my tears i have technically all my life. this is then end of my book i will add more if i find more information about me and my fathers death. thanks for reading hope u liked what i have been through and much more to come.

Imprint

Publication Date: 10-30-2011

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
Paul Johnson died 1998 love you loads daddy

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