Crabs in a Bucket, is she there yet? - Diana Norfleet (e book reader .TXT) 📗

Is she where she should be at this point in her life or is she afraid of having better than her family? At age 5 the demise of her image was tainted by a father that would control her by having her addicted to something that would destroy her social life, damage her appearance, and tear her soul apart. Later in her teens she discovers that her brother is on the same path of destruction against her. She finally meets who she feels is Mr. Right who accepts her addiction, appearance and lives happily ever after and they continue with the family of their own. Her mother is a quiet, soft spoken person, who when the wrong button is pushed the curse words fly and the name calling began. Never a defense for her children against her husband. Staying impartial she would go with the flow. The daughter finding out later that she has a long lost brother, who to this day she has never seen, and another brother from a first marriage, who moved with her mom and his new stepdad was in for a rude awakening. The mother never talked about a previous abusive relationship, which was the result of the divorce, but the daughter later discovers that her father is no better. With a father and two known brothers, one unknown, no one could possibly understand the only two females in the home. The daughter later discovers her voice and power and leaves at the age of fifteen. Still feeling like crabs were holding on to her coat tail chanting fail, fail, she makes a drastic decision to uproot w/ her children at the age of 19 over eight hours away. Her life was beginning, so she thought. The phone connection was stronger than ever. Even though she was no longer exposed to her family life, her father was strong about the every night phonecalls of guilt of leaving the nest and trying to create a better life. The guilt was so strong that she decided to return, but live in her own dwelling. At this point regret sets in. She discovers that family is so close, yet so far. Relatives lived right next door, but the comfort of calling on them or just having a simple conversation was made impossible because the father would call and use trickery to twist and manipulate conversations and make trouble between the relatives. Things as simple as using each others trash can became a war because the father would twist every word until there was no reconcilation to be accomplished. Eventually the mother got sick and the daughter had to step up and open her home. The father would pertray as his life was so together that the daughter only is helping for financial gain. One brother is incarcerated, the other doesnt understand that when the mother got sick, everybodys lives was changed, however he continues to live life as usual, has no kids but cant assist in his mothers care, and the third long lost brother is just that, lost and doesnt want to be find. Through it all again the daughter realizes her power and just starts cutting everybody off. She tells them to stick everything where the sun doesnt shine. She opens her home and personal space to become her mothers caregiver and realizes that all these years there have been crabs in the bucket and she has been afraid to be successful. She also realizes that from day one she was already successful because she was the only one to help her mother in her time of need. Who can she turn to, who can she talk to, who can she confide in? In her mind, nobody, but her husband and kids. She feels lucky that her spouse did not disappear when the stuff hit the fan with her mother. He actually stepped up and defended his wife against her hard shelled, set in his ways, its his way or no way father. She now has the confidence to defend herself, children, spouse, and mother. Is she there yet, not hardly. People are coming out of the wood works demanding money, attention, and wanting to know if she has been financially and emotionally broken down.

The addiction that plagued her throughout her life as chewing tobacco then beer. Chewing tobacco was introduced to her by her father at the tender age of 5. One horrible day in Kindergarten her mouth was so full of tobacco juice that when the teacher called on her to participate in class activities, that she sat there like she was mute. The teacher was nervous and sent her to the nurses office. The nurse insisted that she open her mouth to take her temperature, what a surprise. There was this thick, black wad of tobacco in her right jaw that had produced so much saliva she had no option but to keep as still and quiet as possible. Upon the nurses discovery, the parents were called. The father immediatly explained that the daughter was rambling in his stuff and he had no idea. The daughter recollection would recall the father offering it to her and later saying I didnt think she would like it! Although the daughter felt horrible, she did not rat the father out for fear of being taken by the state or having her parents investigated. At this tender young age you would think she would be sheilded from the worlds self destructive addictions. Spending $1800 to reverse the teeth decay, brown spots, and the fact that people she knew thought she did not have top teeth because when smiling or socializing she would make sure her lip covered the top row, she smiles every chance she gets. Alcohol addiction started to set in because that was part of her home during childhood and ironically she has beat that battle. Stopping cold turkey, with the father trying to encourage her that one drink would not hurt or just dont make a hog out of yourself two doesnt hurt. Her addiction spawned to one, two, then twelve every night. Eventually she made up her mind and did it cold turkey. Addiction free, but still surrounded by crabs in a bucket, she asks herself, am I there yet?

The daughter turns around her life just to find out that her now teenage son is experimenting with cigerettes, graduated to juice drinks with alcohol, and on to marijuana. Identifying this at an early stage, she seeks help immediatly only to find out that in the background the father is assisting this behavior. An all out family fued begins when the daughter fights for her son and does not allow the father to take her son to hell and back. Questioning herself she begins to wonder, why she turned out making right decisions and that if that parenting worked for her why not let it roll and see what the outcome would be. Reality sets in, hell no, this wont go. She wants better for child and cuts ties between her father and child. The father will not attempt to taint the other outspoken, willful, and strong child. The pressure would have gotten unbearable for the other child until the child told the father the ultimate, kiss my ass. The father was in such disbelief that he would call the parents and demand respect, and an apology. Gathering all facts, the daughter would say in her mind, way to go! She talks to her child on things to say and how to say them, while not changing the childs mind that what was transpiring with the father was absolutly wrong. The father decides that he'll fix the second child by buying gifts for the more gullable child and leaving the other child out. Of course the daughter was not having it! A phone call occurs to the father and all hell breaks loose. The father calmly explains that he has mixed the mothers gift and the second childs gifts and urges the daughter to fix it by getting a dumb ass set of pink rollers out of the mothers pile of gifts and giving them to the child. The daughter is in disbelief and immediatly calls the father and explains he is a liar. What child wants rollers when there is electric curlers and what nots to do the job these days? To tear children apart like that just as the father had done to his own, the daughter could only think, crabs in a bucket, is she there yet?

She will not have the answer as to is she there yet, but she does know what she has been through. Will she reevaluate relocating, will she tough it out and make her power be known, or will she relocate and cut the cord? Crabs in a bucket, is or will she ever be there yet?

Publication Date: 01-22-2010

All Rights Reserved