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It was 6:30 in the morning, and my sisters where using my bathroom to get ready. As they talk much louder than they need too, I flipped up my hood and put in my ear phones. I closed my eyes and drifted.
"hey." My mom said, touching my arm.
I shot up and looked at her. I could be in the deepest sleep but the lightest touch can wake me up.
"I'm going to Carson's."
I gave her a thumbs up, an put my head phones back in.
"Come with me."
"No." i said, rolling over.
"I'll get you food."
Food?
"Damn it!" I said, flipping the covers off.
I put some sun glasses on and followed her out to the car. She turned up some song I never heard. Kill me now? I flipped my hood up and rested my head on the window.
"What do you want?" she asked, tapping my shoulder.
"The whole menu." i said, sitting up.
"come on." She laughed.
"Get me a chicken sandwich and some curly fries."
She ordered, and got me a Dr. Pepper. It was annoying that she new me so well, that way, but didn't have a clue as too what was gong on in the inside.
Carson was playing Mat's guitar. Even though He's 30, he acts 16. I mean come on.
"Hey." he said, looking up at my Mom.
"Hey." She said, bending to kiss him.
I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, can I have my food please?" i asked, taking the bag.
I sat on the love seat.
"I promised her food if she came with me."
He laughed. I glared at him over my glasses. What's so funny?
"So my Mom came by." he said.
I put the bag aside, Ooooh this should be good.
"And?" Mom asked, irritated, blowing smoke from the corner of her mouth.
I shoved in a curly fry, ready for the show.
"She moved out all her stuff, so I guess Ashlynn will have her own room when she moves in."
"I don't think she really wants to move in."
What kind of show is this? Disappointed i sat back, and took a drink of my soda.
"Knock Knock."
"Yeah, come in bro!" Carson called.
His cousin came in.
"Hey Scott." Mom said.
"Oh hey Malaina." He said sitting down.
"Oooh can I have some?" I asked.
"Are you allowed?" Scott smirked.
"Come on!" I begged. "It's seven in the morning."
He smiled and gave me his Four Loko and lit a cigaret.
They began to talk about random stuff.
"Can i have it back Andy?"
"Huh?" i asked looking up.
Scott held out his hand and i gave it back to him.
"Don't you have school or something?" he asked, taking a drink.
"Ha ha." I said, lying down.
"So, I was talking to Josh." Carson said.
I sat up, ready for a real show.
"I don't like him so i could give two shits about him." mom said.
"Ooooh." Scott said. he looked over at Carson, "Oh," he said, looking down.
"Can you let me finish?"
"I don't care about him." Mom said, taking a drag.
"Well his friends cousin is here, and he needs a place to stay I was thinking of letting him stay here, He's trying to get his music going, and I thought i could help him out."
"how's he supposed to get his music going in this small ass town?" Scott asked, pointing to the table.
"Right?" i asked, handing Scott an ash tray.
"Well, I think it's okay for him to stay, cause it's my house."
"Okay babe." Mom said, as he began to cross his arms.
Dude...come on.
Scott gave me his drink and I took it.
"I'm coming in!"
"yeah come on." Carson said.
"Hey Andy." Carson's other cousin said, sitting next to me.
"Hey Vic, want a fry?"
She took a fry and popped it into her mouth.
"can I-"
"It's Scott's." I said.
"Oh okay." she shrugged, taking Scott's drink.
"Poor Scott, everyone uses him for his drink." Mom said.
"I know!" Scott said, taking it from Vic.
"At least you got a drink." I said.
"So He's coming tomorrow." Carson said.
Good for him. I ate another fry.
"So where's your husband?" Mom asked.
"Work." Vic said.
It amazed me that at 19 she was married. I mean, i'm 19, you don't see my ass getting on the married train any time soon. There was a knock on the door. Let me guess it's his other cousin? Carson got up and went to the door.
"Oh hey, I didn't think you where coming until tomorrow."
"Joe sent me here early, it's okay right?"
"Oh yeah, man, come on in."
Carson rounded the corner and then the kid did, and I almost choked on my soda.
It was Ricky Reed.
"This is Malaina, my Lady."
"Hi." Ricky waved.
"my cousins Vic and Scott."
He nodded.
"And My Daughter, Andy."
"Hi Andy." He smiled and waved.
"Hi Ricky." I said.
Everyone looked over at me.
"So, there's a room for you, but no bed, so your going to have to sleep on the couch." Carson said.
Ricky smiled, and then looked away from me.
"Joe has a bed in his truck, that he's tossing i can use that." Ricky said.
"Yeah sure. Scott?"
"I'm on it. Kill it Andy." Scott said, giving me his drink.
I threw my head back and finished it off.
They left.
"He seems sweet." Vic said.
****
Once they got everything in the room Vic and Scott left.
"Can I?"
"Go for it." I said.
Ricky sat next to me.
"baby, I'm hungry." Carson said.
Is she your girl friend or Mom?
"Hold down the fort I'll be back." Carson said, looking at me.
"I'm good."
"You sure?"
"Yep." I said, touching the middle of my bra where my ever present knife rested.
"We'll be back."
The door shut.
"I like your music." i said.
"You do?"
I nodded.
"Thanks, that means a lot to me."
"I know, you said music's your everything. I watch your videos."
"Do they help?"
"Yes. Your very inspirational Ricky Reed."
He smiled, "glad I could help."
"I find it easier to go on with out attachment."
He nodded. Ricky let go of attachment when his best friend Jacey killed herself. She made sure Ricky had nothing to remind him of her, then took her life.
"I gotta ask, what's up with the sun glasses?"
"Oh I don't have any eyes."
"oh." He said, shrugging.
"I'm just kidding."
"Oh." he laughed. "Why?"
"I'm sensitive to light." I said. "Uh-oh."
"What?"
"That drink is getting to me, I'm a little buzzed."
"Are you okay?"
"I liked to be buzzed, it helps get me away from all the bull shit in my life. That's probably why I sleep so much. you know to get away."
"What happened?"
"I don't talk about it."
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Nope."
"Why?"
"cause I don't want one."
"how come?"
"For some reason, I'm going to tell you. But you can't tell anyone the things I tell, you, Okay, I'm a very closed off person Since Mat left."
"Mat?"
"My Little brother, I'll get to around to him. I'm scared of guys."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't like them to touch me. I don't like to be cuddled, I don't like to be Babied, I don't like to be touched." I shrugged
"Do you know why?"
"Yes." i said, leaning back in my seat.
"What is it?"
"Another secret."
"Another promise to keep it."
"I was abused by a guy."
"Who?"
"Doesn't matter he's dead."
"Oh. well maybe a boyfriend is what you need."
"No attachment." I shook my head.
He gave me a sad smile.
"What color are your eyes?" He asked, turning to face me.
I turned to, so we where face to face.
"Shit brown. Sorry, this is some good stuff Scott had."
"Can I see your eyes?"
I look off my sun glasses and looked up through my lashes.
"You have nice eyes."
"i hate my eyes." i said, putting the sun glasses back on.
"Your eyes are pretty."
"Your eyes look like flowers. Sorry, it's a song." i said, when his eye brows pulled together.
"Do you get along with your family?"
"no. Not what so ever, just Mat."
"Where's Mat?"
"Oh he moved with his girlfriend, who said she's pregnant with his baby, and it's been like three weeks and there's still no baby. She's a conniving bitch, sorry, that just wanted to get him away from us because we're the only ones he had, and she didn't like our bond, cause Mat would come to me for his problems and not her, cause I give the best advice around here. I don't even know you, and I'm telling you my life story feel free to tell me to shut up." I said, taking a drink of my soda.
"I like listening to you talk."
"Why, i have an ugly voice."
"Do you have confidence?"
"Would you if you where me?"
"I don't really know you."
"Shall I continue then?"
"Yes Please."
We both began to laugh. This is when they came back.
"Oh no, Andy found a best friend." Mom said.
I rolled my eyes and looked away from Ricky.
They all began to talk.
"So Ricky do you have a girlfriend back home?"
"No."
"Where did you come from?"
"Canada." He smiled.
"Oh." she said, eating her ice cream.
He looked over at me, and began to laugh.
"What?" i asked, smiling.
"Nothing, your just. you."
I was Mimicking the whole conversation.
I smiled and looked down.
"So your here for your music?"
"Yes. would you like to hear something?"
"Sure."
Ricky got up and got his guitar.
He played and sang. I sang along in my head.
"Do you know it?" He asked, Looking at me.
I nodded, face scrunched up. I knew what was coming next.
"Sing with me."
"Nuh-uh."
"Oh It's Jake."
"Tell him I love him and to get his ass home."
"Hey, your sister said, she loves you and get your ass back home.... Yeah Andy.... sure... here."
I took the phone.
"Hello?" i asked.
"Andy! Hey I miss you."
"I miss you too. if you never left we wouldn't be like this."
The sound of his laugh had me laughing to.
"So how you doing?"
"Not too Good."
I tucked my legs under me.
"Want to talk about it?"
"Not right now. I'm thinking of coming home so-"
"Shut up!" i yelled, a grin breaking my face."Do it. Then we can talk for hours."
"Your good at that." i could hear his smile.
"I'm here for you. You know that."
"I love you Andy."
"I love you too, kid."
"Let me talk to Dad, I gotta arrange some stuff."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine I promise."
"No feeling to jump off a building?"
"No. I'm good. Hopefully I'll see you soon."
"You better Asstard."
We both laughed. We said good-bye and I gave the phone back to Carson. I looked over Ricky and he smiled.
"That's my boy right there."
"I can tell, you lit up, when you heard his voice. what did he say?"
"He loved me." I said, smiling like a retard.
"You seem Lovable."
"I'm not." I shook my head.
"I think you are. You know a way to get over your fears?"
"What?"
"Face them." he put his arm around me, and pulled me onto his shoulder.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I feel safe with you."
"Good."
They went to the car to smoke.
"You asked, Jake if he felt the need

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