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Ch 1 - Welcome to Your New World

Nine-year old Mauricia paced back and forth, clutching her one-year old baby brother, Carlos, in her arms while trying to comprehend the words that came out of the doctor's mouth. "I'm sorry, there is nothing else we can do," the doctor said. "We have to wait for the baby to die and then she will go too". "How? Why? Who did this?" Mauricia asked. Fear rushed through her as she tried to put everything into perspective.

While her pregnant mother, Bernadette, was writhing in pain, the doctor and priest asked her questions as to what she ate or if she had been sick. The only response Bernadette could give was that she was given food by one of her neighbors, Anabel, which she consumed without hesitation. Bernadette screamed for her fiance', Alejandro, to come immediately as she needed to talk to him. It seems the neighbor, Anabel, who made her food, was an ex-girlfriend that was not happy about their upcoming marital arrangement. They ran out to find him with no guarantee they could come back in time as he worked in the fields outside of town.

Mauricia was in complete disarray, trying to calm her crying brother, and holding back tears as her mother screamed. She did her best to console her brother, but who was there to console her? Mauricia could not help relate her feelings to another similar experience that happened several years ago. Mauricia and her father, Manuel, went out of town to the mines so he could finish up a job that was almost complete. Her father told her "wait out here and play, I won't take long, and behave!" She agreed as he vanished into the dark hole leading into the mine.

As Mauricia picked up rocks to skip in the water puddles nearby, she heard a loud crash. Smoke was everywhere, and the hole that led into the mine erupted clouds of dust. Men that were working nearby rushed in and pulled her father out, but he was already dead. She watched as they covered his mangled, lifeless body with a tarp and called for help. Mauricia had to wait until she and her father's body were taken back into town to her mother. All she could think was "Why am I losing someone that I love?"

Darkness crept in, and still no Alejandro. Bernadette's screams had lessened, and now Mauricia sat in the corner watching over her sleeping brother on the floor. She sat there staring at her mother, listening to her words of advice in between moments of pain. Moment's later, all is still, almost calm. The doctor turns around and simply says, "She's gone". Mauricia doesn't know what else to do but lay down next to her brother and fall asleep.

Eventually Alejandro came and went; he did not wait to talk to the children about anything. He only stayed long enough to talk to the doctor and pastor about Bernadette's death and accusation. He stared at Mauricia and her brother long enough for him to see that Mauricia caught his glimpse. He immediately turned away in shame, knowing he could not care for two children that were not his, and with no motherly figure. He picked up his belongings and left.

By the morning, word of Bernadette's death circulated and her family members came around to talk about burial preparations. As Bernadette was previously widowed, and then became pregnant before remarrying, she was shunned by her family. The relationship between her family and her children was minimal, as she tried to protect her children from their harsh criticism and bad treatment.

As these strangers or so-called family began to walk into Mauricia's home, she noticed it was almost procession-like, as if they were shopping. Little by little they began picking up items, such as plants, furniture, dishes, etc. Bernadette's family was more involved in picking out what they wanted to take home than making preparations. Mauricia's blood boiled as she watched this. Before everything was over, the only two things left in the house were her brother and herself. She heard whispers amongst the women, and overheard, "I can only take one, you take the other". A large woman picked up Carlos and smiled saying, "you're coming home with me". As she walked away, Mauricia did not realize that would be the last time she would see her brother for years. "Come on! Grab what you have and let's go," her aunt, Gertrudes exclaimed. "I need someone to help me clean the house!"


Ch-2 Mauricia Comes of Age

Throughout the years, Mauricia worked around her aunt Gertrudes's house. As a child, she slept in the kitchen by the fireplace, with the dog. That was her place to sleep and eat. She never attended school, and she played around the house when Gertrudes took her naps. As Mauricia grew into a young woman, Gertrudes ran out of excuses when visitors asked why she was in the corner. Rather than say she was her great-niece, Gertrudes told everyone Mauricia was a child with no family that she was providing food and shelter out of the goodness of her heart. Gertrudes figured out a solution, put an apron on Mauricia, and said she was the hired help. She slept in the servants quarters, as hired help would. The other aunt that had taken Carlos moved away to another state immediately after Bernadette's death as mining in that area had become scarce and many families moved to find their luck elsewhere.

Suitors would come to the house for Mauricia, as she was now a young lady, but Gertrudes paid no attention and neither did Mauricia. If Mauricia was harassed in the street by perverts or suitors, she simply took shortcuts to avoid them. She had seen her mother suffer because of men and love, and she felt she did not need that distraction in her life at the moment. Mauricia could hear Gertrudes's voice reminding her that she would end up like her mother, as if she carried a label due to her mother's life decisions. Mauricia didn't believe this; she confided in God, and knew she was not a bad person and good things were to come.

Since Gertrudes was an old woman by now, she demanded less of Mauricia, and even let Mauricia teach Sunday lectures to children and participate in the theater. Sunday lectures and the theater meant everything to Mauricia, as those were a mental escape for her. There were many nights that she dreamt of her parents, and she wondered where her brother was and what he looked like. She prayed for the day when she could find him and be with him again. She felt in her heart that she would find her brother, and promised her parents she would do whatever she could to find him, no matter how long it took.

Mauricia felt closer to her parents when she was involved in the church or in prayer. She felt her closeness to God translated in closeness to her parents, even if only for a moment. Mauricia's spirituality and her dreams were all that she had in the world. She dreamt of traveling and singing with the theater. She thought that if she focused on that goal, she could escape the town that reminded her of so much pain.

One day after a late music lesson, Mauricia noticed it was very dark and she needed to run back home. She excused herself and began to race outside the building, hoping to get back before Gertrudes could catch her and possibly prohibit her from leaving the house for weeks. Mauricia frantically thought, "I need to get there without her noticing! Which way will be best?" She decided to take a short cut by running through the alley.

While in mid-run, Mauricia could hear footsteps behind her and she turned around to see who it could be. The only thing she noticed was a shadow. Her gut feeling was not good, and she decided she needed to act quickly to get away from this person. Seeing the alley up ahead, she ran past the cemetary and started to turn the corner. In an instant, she felt someone grab her and throw her body down with such force it caused her to pass out.

She woke up bruised and bleeding from the back of her head; she had been beaten and raped. As she came to, she saw the man's face. He was one of the suitors she had previously declined many times. "You can't expect to run around at night and not get hurt!" he said. "If I was you, I wouldn't say a word of this to anyone. I know where you and your aunt live." Mauricia hobbled to her feet, picked up what she could, and made her way back home.

She walked into her aunt's house in a daze, as her aunt yelled at her. "Where have you been?" Gertrudes screamed at the top of her lungs. Have you been tramping around like your mother?" Mauricia didn't say a word. As Gertrudes got closer and the candlelight shone more brightly on Mauricia's face, Gertrudes stood still in silence, finally noticing what had happened to Mauricia. She quietly said, "Go get the washtub and clean yourself up. Put on some clean clothes and go to bed. I'll call the priest in the morning so he can give you a confession."

Ch 3 - One Steps Forward, Two Step Back

Months later after the terrible incident, Mauricia continued her daily routine of teaching Sunday lecture and attending music class. Within time she started to worry she would have to make a decision about what she was going to do. She feared once Gertrudes figured out she was pregnant she would surely kick her out of the house. The thought of getting rid of her baby never crossed Mauricia's mind. She felt compelled to take care of it, and she knew in her heart it was not the child's fault it was coming into the world.

Mauricia had to resign from her lectures and classes. Instead of telling Gertrudes about the changes, Mauricia continued to leave the house to take extra jobs and earn money to save for the baby. Mauricia washed, ironed, mended, and cleaned out houses. She did whatever she could to collect as much money for the moment Gertrudes would kick her out.

When Mauricia made it home one night Gertrudes was waiting in the parlor and asked Mauricia to see her. Gertrudes told Mauricia "my friend, Carmen, told me you have been seen doing extra work for people in town. Is this true?" Mauricia said "yes", and decided to tell Gertrudes the truth. She was four months pregnant. Gertrudes responded, "Well you know what this means, don't you? I should have known you would end up like your mother." As tears ran down Mauricia's face, she couldn't hold back her anger. Mauricia ran to the servant's quarters to get her items which had been ready for this moment. She grabbed her rosary, bible, and few family photos she had found and taken from Gertrudes's belongings. Mauricia ran out and told her "I may be pregnant but at least I know how to love, and I'm not an evil hearted person like you! I pray you don't die alone and someone at least cares enough to take care of you like I did!"

Mauricia ran out of Gertrudes's house clutching her bible and rosary while carrying her bag. Inside the bible were the photos

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