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make you stay?’ Brooke asked. For the briefest of seconds I looked at Jackson. It was involuntary and unexpected.

‘I guess if I got in to a good college then I might consider staying’ I looked at Brooke and her eyes were wide. She noticed. I really hoped that Freddie didn’t.

About 20 minutes later Brooke managed to get me on my own

‘What the hell?’ She said

‘I don’t even know what to say’ I said ‘I don’t know why that happened’

‘Really? It’s because your so in love with him. I wish you would just admit it already’

‘Do you think Freddie saw?’

‘I don’t know but it’s about time you decided what you want’

‘Jackson hurt me’

‘Yeah and you hurt him right back’

‘I’m going to walk for a little bit. Will you tell Freddie I won’t be long?’

‘Sure’

I set off walking knowing I had a huge decision to make. When I got far enough away that they were just little pin pricks in the distance. I sat down and sighed.

How had my life become all about boys. Maybe I just needed to be single for a while.

Jackson

 

I heard Brooke tell Freddie that Beth had gone for a walk and would be back soon so while nobody was looking I sneaked off to find her. I found her about a mile down the beach sat looking out at the waves. Her hair was blowing to the side and she was rubbing her arms in the cool breeze. I took off my jacket and placed it over her shoulder. She didn’t look up at me but she knew it was me. I sat down beside her.

‘You looked at me’ I said.

‘What?’ she said still looking out at the ocean.

‘When Charlie said will anything keep you from leaving, you looked at me’

‘Saw that huh’

‘Yeah kinda. I’m a bit confused Beth’

‘Me too Jackson, me too’

We sat in silence for what seemed like ages. Finally she turned to me.

‘I have some things I need to figure out’

‘Ok’ I said.

‘I really need you to leave me alone while I do that’

‘Why? You know I can’t stay away from you’ this could not be happening.

‘Jackson. It’s not the end but I have a boyfriend and I clearly still feel things for you. It wasn’t Freddie that I looked at. You need to give me space. Please’

‘I can try’ I stood up. She went to give me back my jacket. ‘Keep it’ I said. I turned to walk away.

‘Beth’ she looked up at me. ‘Just so you know, the time I spent with you before I left was the happiest I think I have ever been. When we made love I felt like I had found my other half. I didn’t even know it was missing till that moment. Every day that I see you with him, kissing him, holding his hand, laughing, it breaks my heart a little bit. There’s not much of it left. I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I’ll give you the space that you want but just so you have all the information please note that I am so in love with you it makes me ache. That every morning I wake up you are the first thing I think about. You are all that matters to me. I just wanted you to know that.’ Then I turned and walked off.

I walked back up the beach feeling deflated. I don’t think I could stay away from her but if that’s what she needed I was going to have to try.

She came back about half an hour later. Freddie pulled her off to one side. It looked like he was yelling at her. I saw him point to the jacket. She started shouting back. I couldn’t hear what she was saying but there were a lot of hand gestures. She walked away from him back to the fire and sat beside Brooke. She didn’t look at me.

I called it a night at 10. I have a big week ahead of me. I have an away game tomorrow and the homecoming game on Friday.

As I got to my car Freddie caught up with me.

‘Leave her alone’ he says. His face is really close to mine.

‘Firstly step back’ he does. ‘Good. Now secondly I have not nor will I ask her to pick me. I want her to come to me by herself. We are friends and that’s it. In fact she asked me to stay away from her so that’s what I’m going to do’

‘She said that?’

‘Yeah’

‘Oh’

‘Don’t ever come at me like this again’ I get in my car and roll down the window. ‘Go back to her’

‘I’m sorry, I just really like her’

‘I love her’ I leave then leaving him stood there.

 

This was the longest week of my life. I was stood with Charlie at his locker. I couldn’t go to mine yet as Beth was stood there. I had managed to stay away from her all week. The only time we spoke was in biology and that was when we had to work together.

It doesn’t mean I wasn’t watching though. I had noticed that she was hardly with Freddie at all this week. I don’t know what that means and I can’t ask her but it made me feel a little better.

‘You’re really not going?’ Charlie asked me.

‘What’s the point?’

‘It will be fun. Come on I don’t want to go either’

‘So why are you?’

‘Brooke’ that was all he had to say. Brooke loved all these social events.

‘If I can’t go to the dance with Beth then I’m not going. Anyway I promised her, no girls while she was in my life. I’m not breaking that promise’

‘Ok’ he said ‘but I think you should come’

I just shook my head. Beth was gone so I walked to my locker. As I opened it she came back in a rush.

‘Hey’ I said

‘Hey’ she said smiling ‘I forgot a book’

I smiled back then carried on what I was doing.

‘Good luck today’

‘Thanks’ I said ‘are you and Max still coming?’

‘Definitely’

I nodded and she walked away.

 

The game went smoothly and we won. I had noticed Beth in the crowd straight away. Every time I looked she was cheering which made me happy. After the game everyone was going home to get ready for the dance. I got showered and changed at school then slowly made my way home.

When I got to Beth’s house I stopped. There was no way she was going to that dance. It was not her thing at all. That’s probably what her and Freddie had been arguing about.

I stayed like that, sat in my car watching the house for forty five minutes. This was pathetic. Just go knock on the door. Ask her if she wants to go get ice cream.

She told me to stay away though. But she was cheering at my game. I was so confused.

I got out and walked up the drive and knocked on the door. Max answered.

‘Thank god I thought you were going to sit out there all night’ Max said laughing. I must have gone bright red. ‘She’s in her room’

‘Thanks’ I said heading for the stairs

Jessica came out the kitchen and was just about to say something when Max grabbed her and pulled her back.

I knocked on Beth’s door and poked my head round. She was on the bed reading with some music playing in the background. She had my jacket on. I also noticed that Bert the bear was on her bed.

‘Can I come in?’ I asked when she looked at me. She was surprised.

‘Sure’ she said pointing to the bed. ‘Good game today’ she said smiling.

‘Thanks. Did you have any idea what was going on?’

‘None at all but it was exciting. Plus Max kind of explained a few things’ I smiled. ‘Why are you not at the dance?’

‘I told you I wouldn’t date anyone else. That includes a date for the dance’

‘So you came here on the off chance?’

‘No’ I said very matter of fact. ‘I knew you wouldn’t be there’

‘You did?’

‘Yeah. It’s not really you is it?’ she shook her head a bit surprised I think. ‘So I thought I would see if you were hungry and wanted to get a burger’ I had changed my mind from ice cream. If she came out with me for food we would be together longer.

‘I have to ask you something first’

‘Shoot’

‘That speech you made last weekend on the beach’ I nodded a little bit embarrassed. ‘You meant it?’

‘Every word’

‘You love me?’

‘I do, more than anything’

‘Why didn’t you call me Jackson’ a tear rolled down her cheek.

I sighed. ‘I have been waiting so long for you to ask me that question’

‘I have asked before’

‘No you haven’t. You made statements. You didn’t call me, I hate you, you didn’t call me’

‘I never said I hated you’

‘It felt like you did’

‘So why didn’t you call me’

‘They took my phone; as soon as my mum left they took all our phones. They said we didn’t need them to train’

‘So you couldn’t phone me’

‘I wanted to, I missed you so much. I nearly left at one point because I needed to speak to you so badly. The only number I knew was my house number. We were allowed one call on a Sunday. Beth’ she looked at me. ‘I told my mum to tell Jessica all this so you would know and she swears that she told her’

‘What!’

‘I’m sorry’

She jumped up and headed for the door. ‘Come on lets go have dinner’

We went down the stairs and into the kitchen where Jessica and Max were making food.

‘I’m going out’ Beth said. She sounded mad

‘Dinner is almost ready Beth love so if you want to say goodbye to your friend’ I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing out loud.

‘I am not eating dinner with you’

‘Beth’ Max scowled at her.

‘She knew Max, all this time she knew why Jackson didn’t call me’

‘What? You knew?’ Max said to her

‘No’ she said lying.

‘So is Tammy a liar then?’

‘What?’

‘Explain’ max said.

‘They took my phone the second camp started they took it. The only number I knew was my house number. I was allowed one call a week. I phoned my mum and asked her to get a message to Beth. When I got back and Beth was so mad at me and guessed she didn’t get my message. I asked my mum if she had forgot and she said she definitely told Jessica’

‘You knew how gutted I was and you had the answer the whole time. You could have stopped all of this’

‘All of what?’ Jessica said

‘You stopped us been together. You got what you wanted no matter how much it hurt the rest of us. You’re such a bitch!!’

‘Elizab….’

‘I’m going out’ Beth said interrupting her. I followed her to the door. When she got there she stopped and turned to face me. She grabbed my face. I thought she was going to kiss me.

‘I am so sorry for what I have put you through’ she wrapped her hand around my waist and I hugged her.

‘I guess we have to talk’ I said to her.

‘I guess we do’ she said back.

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