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and turned my head to Sage and then Gage. "Um..Camilla called me and um... Drake died." I couldn't help the tears that escaped my eyes. The both had tears running down their faces.
"I'm going to call Ricky." I nodded and Gage followed Sage out the door. I got up and went into the bathroom. My eye were red and I had tear stains on my cheeks. I looked up and Seth was behind me. His looked at me worried. I turned around and hugged him. He hugged me back tightly. "Who was Drake?" He whispered. I felt the tear coming again.
"My best friend." They slipped from my eyes and on to his bare shoulder. "I'm so sorry. We can fly out there for his funeral." He hugged me tighter as the tears came more faster. "Okay." I pulled away and walked back into the room. I grabbed some sweats and one of Seth's t-shirts and walked into the bathroom shutting the door behind me.
I stripped free of my clothes and stepped into the warm bath. I laid there for a few minutes before I dipped my head under. It surprised me how long I could stay under. After a minute I started seeing black dots so I finally went back up to the surface. It took me a few minutes to catch my breath but I finally caught it. When the water started getting cold I washed my body, hair, and face.
As I got dressed someone knocked on the door. I told them a second so I could finish. When I walked back into the room Gage and Seth were sitting on the bed. I looked over at Gage. "Did you guys talk to Ricky?" I asked my voice cracking. He looked up at me with sad eyes. "Yeah. His funeral is in 2 days." I nodded my head and he left. I crawled into bed next to Seth. It was 10 in the morning but I still felt exhausted as hell.
"We'll leave tomorrow." I looked back at him. "Really?" He nodded. I couldn't help it but kiss him. He was shocked for a second but responded. He licked my bottom lip but I didn't allow him in. His wolf growled in protest which made me smile against his lips. I finally pulled away and turned around before he could kiss me again. He sighed in defeat and pulled my back against his chest. Not a second later I was out.

Chapter 8
Music is my soul


I shut my suitcase with a sigh and zipped it up. Even if we were only going for 3 days I brought almost all my clothes. It wasn't much but I was planning on seeing my friends out there. Seth and Jonathan had to go and tell there pack that we were leaving for a few days and promised to meet us at the airport. I walked out the room carrying mine and Seth's suitcases. When I got down the steps Zion came and got the from me and put them in the back of his truck. I climbed into the passenger seat and took my iPod out shoving the ear buds in my ears. I was in no mood to talk.
I listened to mine and Drakes song 'We Are Young' by Fun. We would always freak out and dance together whenever we hung out together. I didn't notice I was crying till I felt tears fall onto my hand. I whipped them away and changed the song after the 3rd time of listening to it. The next song always made me cry. I would always play it whenever my dad would take his anger out on me. It was Demi Lovato's song 'For the love of a daughter.' Whenever he was drunk was the worst.
I listened to my whole playlist over and over. Most of the songs reminded me of Drake. I tried to control the tears but I couldn't help every time the spilled over. I watched out the window not paying attention to anyone. Someone lend over and pulled my ear bud out. "What?!" I didn't mean to snap but I seriously wasn't in the mood. "You ok?" I sighed and rolled my eyes. Of course i'm not ok. I snatched my ear bud back and put it back in my ear. That's one of my pet-peeves. Asking someone a question when you obviously know the answer.
When we pulled up to the airport Seth and Jonathon were already there. I turned my iPod up as loud as it could go and jumped out the car. All the guys were getting the suitcases and giving it to the people to put under the plane. I climbed up the stairs of the private plane and sat in the way back. I looked around and noticed it was the same plane that I came out here on. I looked out the window as everyone boarded the plane. I was happy when no one decided to sit by me. They all knew I needed my space and I was thankful for that.
The plane took off 10 minutes later and we were safely in the air. My head was pounding because my music was so loud. I turned off my iPod and put it in my backpack. I dug through my backpack and found Advil. All I needed was water. I stood up and looked around. Seth was sitting and talking to Zion. He had a water bottle in the cup holder next to his seat. I walked over to him silently and when he looked out the window I snatch the water and ran back to my seat. He never noticed and I sighed in relief.
I took 4 Advil's and rested my head against the window. The darkness was slowly taking over the sky and the stars were all starting to shine. I couldn't help but think of what was going to come tomorrow. People were talking all around me like nothing was wrong. They were laughing like we were on vacation. Not one person really knew why I was so upset. I promised myself I would never come back to this horrible place. How was I to know the only reason I was coming back was because my best friend died. Patrick was probably going to be there because he is good friends with Drake's parents.
At least he couldn't touch me since we were going to be around a lot of people. My headache was finally gone so I turned my iPod back on and played my playlist over again. I looked out the window and sighed. I closed my eyes and leaned back in my seat. I tried to not fall asleep but just gave in and let the darkness consume me.

Chapter 9
Saying Goodbye


As I looked in the mirror. I couldn't help but feel even more sad. The color black was always a depressing color to me. I decided on no makeup because there is honestly no point. I try not to cry in front of anyone because I can tell no one knows why i'm so sad. That's cause no one knows the truth. Me and Drake dated for awhile. No one but Camilla, Micheal, and Sarah knew. We were actually going to make it an open relationship but he decided we were better friends after a 2 year relationship. Of course I still loved him. He was my best friend but it crushed me still.
We were both each others first for everything. First friend, first date, first kiss, first boyfriend/girlfriend and we even took each others virginity which made it even harder. I gave everything to him because I seriously thought we would be together forever. He told me he wanted to marry me and promised no matter what happened we would be there for each other. His promises were never once broken but here he goes breaking the only one that really mattered. I knew it wasn't his fault but he left me. I needed my best friend in this fucked up world but nope. One day he there the next he's walking to the gates of heaven.
I sighed and whipped the tears that were coming without permission. I turned away from the mirror and slowly walked out the hotel bathroom. I got on the elevator and waited for the doors to open on the lobby. As soon as the doors open my breath caught in my throat. Camilla, Sarah, and Micheal were sitting with Sage, Gage, Seth, and Seth's mini pack. As I got closer to where they were sitting Sarah noticed me and got up and ran to me. She pulled me into a tight huge. “I missed you Lilah and i'm really sorry...” She whispered softly. “I missed you to.” I replied ignoring her apologizing cause it wasn't her fault. I hugged Micheal and Camilla. The both said the same things as Sarah.
The drive to the cemetery was not long. It was the exact same one we buried my mom in. I took everything in me not to run and run and run. Everyone started getting out the car but I stayed. I looked across the cemetery where people were already gathering around. All in the same black color. They were waiting for everyone to arrive. I let my breath go but it came out ragged. Slowly opening the door I climbed out the car and started the walk. When I got there I stood towards the back and off to the side.
Everyone was finally there. They started talking about his life and everything. “Drake was a good kid. He never asked for the cancer,” My breath caught in my throat and my hand went to my mouth. “he was able to fight it on and off for 4 years.” I couldn't hear anymore. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it was going to jump out my chest. How could he have had cancer for 4 years and I didn't know? Why hadn't he told me? Why didn't anyone tell me?
I buried my head in my hands trying to stop the shaking. I couldn't help the tears now. They were falling so fast I couldn't control them. I looked up right as the were lowering his body down. It made me cry harder. The lower it got the more my heart shattered. My legs could no longer hold me up. I fell to the floor and watched as the shoveled the dirt back in the hole till it was full. I rocked back and forth as I sobbed.
As everyone started to leave I just sat there. I could hear people talking to me but I ignored them. After a few more minutes I got up and looked around. Everyone was gone except Sage, Seth, and Gage. They were off to the side talking. I got up and walked to his grave. “HOW COULD YOU? WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME?” I yelled as I started hitting the dirt. “I HATE YOU. YOU PROMISED ME NO SERECTS. YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME.” I was sobbing and still hitting the dirt. Someone picked me up around the waist and I instantly struggled. “Lily calm down. It's just me.” I heard Sage.
“LET ME GO.” I yelled and still struggled. I looked up just as my dad walked up. I instantly stopped. “Hey love. How are you?” He asked as he tried to pull me into a hug. I flinched and as soon as Sage let me go I took off running. I didn't know where I was going but I kept running. Tears were falling fast down my face as my legs burned. I ran until I was in the park.
I wasn't crying just cause the fact my best friend

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