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all that receives is a chuckle
“You’ll see”.


I smell him before he actually says something,
“I’m sorry” I don’t open my eyes I keep them closed and shrug one shoulder
“’s not your fault you don’t love me”
“I never said I don’t-“he takes a breath “I love you full and whole heartedly”
“Hmm” is all I say
“What that’s it?” he snaps at me
“Yes, that’s it”
“You don’t believe me do you” he asks in defeat
“Nope” I say and give him my back
“Figures”
he mutters and something inside me snaps. Suddenly I’m pissed at him; I stand up and glare at him
“Figures, what?” I growl
“Figures you wouldn’t believe me. All wolves are stubborn and bossy; I just thought you would be different”
“Ok, so I won’t be stubborn anymore, I’ll just tell you what I think about you” I step off the bed and stand directly in front of him
“You are a liar, you aren’t my mate and your hair is too damn spiky” I yell at him
“One I never lied two my hair is perfectly spiky and three we are mates” he lists on his fingers
“No we aren’t, real mates don’t lie to each other and real mates love each other regardless of fate” I yell
“I do love you regardless of fate, I don’t know you though, we haven’t spent any time together, so how the hell would you know if I’m lying?!” he ye;;s at me
“And who the hells fault was that? If you would have came earlier we would have been closer”
“Are you really going to keep blaming me for that?”
“Yes, because it’s your fault” I yell as I push by him
“How is it my fault you were taken?” he shows no sign of me pushing him
“Because you just stood there while they flew off with us!” he looks hurt but now I can’t stop the door has been opened and can’t be closed
“You stood there while they flew away with me and my mother, while they flew off and took us to that horrible place. Do you know what happened there? Of course not, how could you, you were here, for the first three years they did nothing but beat us and make us do things for them. Clean and cook, sew and wash and I thought ‘Micah will come, Micah will save us’ but you never did. For the rest of the seven years they raped me and mom, they hurt your ‘mate’ all because you weren’t there. I got pregnant, at 13; they cut me open and made me watch as they cut the baby over and over. Do you know what that did to me! Do you know what that did to mom!? She lost it; I lost hope and just stopped talking. I was never allowed outside except for that one time when the rogue found me. That was my one slither of hope, the one slither that lasted for 3 years. Your ‘mate’ suffered all because of you. And your ‘mate’ is suffering now because you lied to her. When all she needed was an honest answer” tears fall freely down my cheek and Micah stands as still as a statue “so that’s why I blame you, I blame you for my lost child. It doesn’t matter if the child was a creation of pain and anger it was mine. I blame you for the loss of my virginity and I blame you for the pain you’ve caused me for 10 years”. I wipe my face and push past him in the main compartment I see mom crying and daddy holding her.
“Don’t touch her” I growl at him and he lets go
“It’s your fault too, she waited on you, she shut down and no one could bring her back” I shake my head at him. I let it out, my story my pain and my losses. Maybe if I wasn’t so damn angry I would be happy that I could sleep without nightmares. I storm out of the den and I just breathe in the air,
“Are you ok, alpha?” I hear a tiny voice ask, I look down and see a little red head child and tears blur my vision I nod and she nods back then runs to her twin. I walk to the center of the den village and kneel in the dirt. I look at it, it’s very fertile and with a little bit of help it could nurture trees and vegetables. This soil represents me, with a little bit of help and love I could grow and live.


I hadn’t known she was so sad, so angry. I hadn’t known what happened to her and after hearing that I didn’t want to know. She was pregnant! Is my entire mind keeps returning to and I want to kick my ass, she was raped and it is because of me. My heart takes time to slow down so I can actually hear her father calling my name and feel her mother shaking my shoulders.
“She’s not responding to either of us and the pack is worried about her” her mother says frantically and I instantly stalk to the front of the den. Sure enough there she is kneeling in the dirt rubbing it with tears softly quietly running down her cheeks. I approach smoothly and quietly and the packs eyes follow me. I kneel next to her but she continues to rub the dirt her hands becoming black but she just stares at the dirt.
“I’m sorry” I say softly and I see her smile and shake her head,
“And I do love you unconditionally and uncontrollably, not because fate decided it or because I have to but because of who you are. And I wish I was there I do. But we tried to find you, we did constantly your father never slept and I always cried” she still rubs the dirt but the crying has stopped which is an improvement I guess.
“I wish you would have told me what happened earlier, I wish I could help you get over your hate” this time she does look at me and her eyes are a very dull pink.
“You already have”.


I’d recognize the twirl anywhere, this is the twirl I’ve longed for and have always wanted. Ever since the first twirl! Micah looks very confused but I smile and hug him, I hug him so close it hurts me as well as him. I cry happy tears,
“I love you so much Micah, so, so much thank you” I kiss all over his face then I claim his lips. I don’t wait for him to open his mouth I just pierce my tongue through and massage mine with his until he moans. I shoot up and squeal and rub my belly victoriously,
“Yes, yes, yes!!” I jump up and down
“What is it?” Micah asks standing up looking on the defense; I gasp and grab his hand. He can feel it now! Only shifters can feel the zap of it, I put it on my stomach and we look at each other, it takes a while but he smiles and laughs. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist I kiss him all over his face and we stop. The pack looks so confused, so I get down and address them
“I’m pregnant” I say with as much alpha-iness I can but it comes out squeally and girlish. All the girls run to me including the two red- head twins and the entire boys pat Micah on the back. They all ransack me just to touch my stomach and they all leave excited and happy. My pain and grief is over and I have to start a new life for the baby’s sake and for Micah’s sake. I think my soul has finally, fully returned.

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Publication Date: 12-28-2011

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