The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, vol 15 - Sir Richard Francis Burton (world best books to read txt) 📗

to the Droll’s wife, and he found the first to be a Pieman who had claimed the rank of our lord Job (on whom be The Peace!), and the second to be a Market-Gardener who sold savoury herbs and all manner fragrant growths, and he had made himself out to be Al-Khizr (on whom be The Peace!), and the third to be a Butcher who had passed himself off as Iskandar, Lord of the Two Horns (on whom be The Peace!); whilst the fourth, whom the Jester had brought, and who declared that he was the Archangel Israfil, and was about to blow the Last Trump, proved to be the Shaykh of the Pipers. Now when the four were before the King he gave orders to castrate them all save the Shaykh[FN#422] this being the award of him who lewdly frequenteth the women of the royal household. Hereupon they gelded them, and each one who was made a eunuch died without stay and delay; and the Droll divorced his wife and sent her about her business.

 

I have also by me (said Shahrazad) another tale concerning the wiles of womankind, and it is that of

 

THE GATE-KEEPER OF CAIRO AND THE CUNNING

SHE-THIEF.[FN#423]

 

It is related that in Misr of K�hir there was a man who had reached the age of fourscore and ten years, and he was a chief-watchman of the ward in the service of the W�li; a brave man withal, and one not wont to be startled or afeard. Now one night as he was going around about the city with the Chief of Police, and he was returning to the guard-house[FN#424] before break o’ day that he might perform the Wuz�-ablution, and at the call to dawn-prayers he might rise and repeat them, it so fortuned that when he was about to stand up to his orisons, according to the custom of him, suddenly a purse fell before him upon the ground. As soon as he had done with his devotions he arose and gazed around to see who had thrown him that bag of money, but he could find nobody; so he took it up and opened it, when an hundred dinars met his sight. Hereat he wondered; but on the following day when he had washed and was praying, behold, a second purse was cast at his feet; so he waited until he had finished his orisons and then stood up and looked around to see who had thrown it. Thereupon, as he failed to find any, he took it up and opened it and again beheld an hundred dinars, a matter which filled him with wonder. This continued till the third day at morning-tide, when he had washed as was his wont and stood up to his prayers, and lo and behold! another purse was dropped at his feet. Herewith he cut short his devotions, and turning him round saw beside him a girl whose years had reached fifteen; so he seized her and said, “Who art thou, and what is the reason of thy throwing at my feet every day a purse of an hundred gold pieces, and this is the third time; argal the sum amounteth to three hundred. What may be this case?” Said she, “O my lord, my name is F�timah, and my wish and will is a matter which thou canst bring to an end for me by means of thy tongue!” Quoth he, “What is’t thou wantest of me?” and quoth she, “‘Tis my intent that on the morrow I sham drunkenness with wine and cast myself before the mansion of the Kazi of the Army.[FN#425] Thou shalt find me there strown upon the ground and dressed in all the best of my clothes and finest ornaments. So when thou shalt come to that quarter and espy me lying there in drink do thou bid the Linkman move the links to and fro; then come forward, O

Mukaddam,[FN#426] and investigate the case and examine me, and say the Wali, ‘This girl is in liquor.’ The Chief of Police shall reply to thee, ‘Take her and carry her to the watch-house and keep her there till daybreak.’”—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day, and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night, and that was

 

The Seven Hundred and Sixty-first Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that quoth the girl to the Mukaddam, “And when thou shalt have found me drunken with wine, the Wali shall bid thee, ‘Take her to the watch-house and there keep her till daybreak.’ Hereto do thou object, ‘No!

this were not suitable: I will cry upon someone of the quarter and will awake the Kazi of the Army, for that she belongeth to his ward.’ Then assemble all thy folk and say to them, ‘Verily this girl is in liquor and not mistress of herself at such time; needs must she be of a great family and daughter to grandees; therefore ‘twere not proper that we take her with us to the watch-house; nor let any hold her in his charge save the Kazi of the Army till morning and until such time as she shall have recovered her senses and can fare to her own folk.’” Hereupon quoth the Mukaddam to her, “Easy enough!” and quoth she, “An thou act on this wise and my success be from thy hand, I will give thee five hundred dinars besides the three hundred.” “This matter is not far to us,”[FN#427] said he; so she left him and went away. Now when it was the season after night-prayers, the Chief of Police came forth his quarters and, repairing to the watch-house and taking the Mukaddam and his men, would have threaded the highways of Cairo as was his wont, but the head Gate-Keeper forewent him and took the direction of the quarter wherein dwelt the Kazi of the Army; the Wali unknowing the while what was in the man’s thought. They ceased not faring until they entered that part of the town wherein stood the Judge’s house, and when they approached it, lo and behold! the Mukaddam found a something strown upon the ground. So said he to the Linkman who carried the light, “O my son, do thou shake the torch,” and when he moved the link to and fro it illumined the whole quarter. Then the Gate-Keeper came forward; and, looking at what was lying there, found it to be a damsel in liquor dressed out with sumptuous dress and adorned with all her ornaments: so he said to the Wali, “O my Chief,[FN#428] this girl is drunken with wine and hath fallen on the ground;” and said the Chief of Police, “Take her up and carry her to the watch-house until morning.” Hereupon quoth the Mukaddam, “No! this were not fitting; nor is it possible for the like of this girl. She is in the ward of the Kazi al’-Askar, to whose household haply she belongeth or to some great man in the quarter, and we fear lest befal her of evil matters some matter and we shall come to be transgressors.”

Hereupon, after applying some remedy to the damsel, they made her sit up and presently they called aloud upon the people of the quarter and awoke the Judge and when all the folk came out in a body the Wali said to them, “Look ye upon this girl; peradventure you may know whose daughter she is.” They came forward and examined her and found her garbed in sumptuous garments and trickt out with the whole of her ornaments, whereupon the Chief of Police and the Mukaddam of the Watchmen said to them, “Indeed ‘tis not possible for us to remove yon maiden from this place; so do you take her to your homes until morning-tide when she shall recover and be able to care for herself and then fare to her own folk.” Hereat they made agreement that none should lodge her in his house save the Kazi of the Army; so a party of the servants raised her and led her to his mansion and set her in a chamber hard by the open saloon; after which each and every of them fared forth to sleep in his own place. On this wise it befel the Wali and the Mukaddam and the Kazi and the folk of the ward; but as regards the affair of the damsel whom they found stretched on the ground as one drunken, she on entering the Kazi’s abode pulled herself together and recovered herself, for that she had wrought all this wily work for the special purpose of being led into the house there to carry out her wish and will. Presently the Judge lay down and was drowned in slumber and knew not what Allah had destined to him from the plans and projects of the girl who, rising up at midnight, opened the door of her chamber leading into the saloon where the Kazi al-‘Askar kept all his hoards and coin[FN#429] and dresses and belongings. Now she had appointed her people to meet her at that house, so they came and carried off the whole of what was in the saloon nor did they leave aught therein, at all, at all, save only the matting. And when dawned the morn, the Kazi of the Army arose and repaired to the saloon, as was his wont, for the purpose of dressing, but he found therein nothing except the matting. So he buffeted his face with his palms and wailed aloud whereat a party of his servants came to him and asked, “What is the matter with thee, O our lord the Kazi?” then, on going into the saloon they remarked that it had been gutted of everything. So they went from him and threw open the door of the chamber wherein they had placed the damsel but they found her nowhere.—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

 

The Seven Hundred and Sixty-third Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Kazi’s folk went and threw open the door of the chamber wherein the damsel had slept; and, when they found nothing therein, they were certified it was she who had carried away the goods. After such fashion it happened to these; but as regards the action of the Judge, he took horse and wended his way to the Sultan, and he ceased not wending till he had entered the presence and salam’d and blessed the Sovran who returned