The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, vol 1 - Sir Richard Francis Burton (heaven official's blessing novel english txt) 📗

bright, he set them in a place apart. The greybeard continued to return to the shop regularly for five months, and my brother ceased not to lay up all the coin he received from him in its own box. At last he thought to take out the money to buy sheep; so he opened the box and found in it nothing, save bits of white paper cut round to look like coin;[FN#656] so he buffeted his face and cried aloud till the folk gathered about him, whereupon he told them his tale which made them marvel exceedingly. Then he rose as was his wont, and slaughtering a ram hung it up inside his shop; after which he cut off some of the flesh, and hanging it outside kept saying to himself, “O Allah, would the ill omened old fellow but come!” And an hour had not passed before the Shaykh came with his silver in hand; where upon my brother rose and caught hold of him calling out, “Come aid me, O Moslems, and learn my story with this villain!” When the old man heard this, he quietly said to him, “Which will be the better for thee, to let go of me or to be disgraced by me amidst the folk?” “In what wilt thou disgrace me?” “In that thou sellest man’s flesh for mutton!” “Thou liest, thou accursed!” “Nay, he is the accursed who hath a man hanging up by way of meat in his shop. If the matter be as thou sayest, I give thee lawful leave to take my money and my life.” Then the old man cried out aloud, “Ho, ye people! if you would prove the truth of my words, enter this man’s shop.” The folk rushed in and found that the ram was become a dead man[FN#657] hung up for sale. So they set upon my brother crying out, “O Infidel! O

villain!”; and his best friends fell to cuffing and kicking him and kept saying, “Dost thou make us eat flesh of the sons of Adam?” Furthermore, the old man struck him on the eye and put it out. Then they carried the carcass, with the throat cut, before the Chief of the city watch, to whom the old man said, “O Emir, this fellow butchers men and sells their flesh for mutton and we have brought him to thee; so arise and execute the judgments of Allah (to whom be honour and glory!).” My brother would have defended himself, but the Chief refused to hear him and sentenced him to receive five hundred sticks and to forfeit the whole of his property. And, indeed, had it not been for that same property which he expended in bribes, they would have surely slain him.

Then the Chief banished him from Baghdad; and my brother fared forth at a venture, till he came to a great town, where he thought it best to set up as a cobbler; so he opened a shop and sat there doing what he could for his livelihood. One day, as he went forth on his business, he heard the distant tramp of horses and, asking the cause, was told that the King was going out to hunt and course; so my brother stopped to look at the fine suite.

It so fortuned that the King’s eye met my brother’s; whereupon the King hung down his head and said, “I seek refuge with Allah from the evil of this day!”;[FN#658] and turned the reins of his steed and returned home with all his retinue. Then he gave orders to his guards, who seized my brother and beat him with a beating so painful that he was well nigh dead; and my brother knew not what could be the cause of his maltreatment, after which he returned to his place in sorriest plight. Soon afterwards he went to one of the King’s household and related what had happened to him; and the man laughed till he fell upon his back and cried, “O

brother mine, know that the King cannot bear to look at a monocular, especially if he be blind of the right eye, in which case he doth not let him go without killing him.” When my brother heard this, he resolved to fly from that city; so he went forth from it to another wherein none knew him and there he abode a long while. One day, being full of sorrowful thought for what had befallen him, he sallied out to solace himself; and, as he was walking along, he heard the distant tramp of horses behind him and said, “The judgement of Allah is upon me!” and looked about for a hiding place but found none. At last he saw a closed door which he pushed hard: it yielded. and he entered a long gallery in which he took refuge, but hardly had he done so, when two men set upon him crying out, “Allah be thanked for having delivered thee into our hands, O enemy of God! These three nights thou hast robbed us of our rest and sleep, and verily thou hast made us taste of the death cup.” My brother asked, “O folk, what ails you?”; and they answered, “Thou givest us the change and goest about to disgrace us and plannest some plot to cut the throat of the house master! Is it not enough that thou hast brought him to beggary, thou and thy fellows? But now give us up the knife wherewith thou threatenest us every night.” Then they searched him and found in his waist belt the knife used for his shoe leather; and he said, “O people, have the fear of Allah before your eyes and maltreat me not, for know that my story is a right strange!” “And what is thy story?” said they: so he told them what had befallen him, hoping they would let him go; however they paid no heed to what he said and, instead of showing some regard, beat him grievously and tore off his clothes: then, finding on his sides the scars of beating with rods, they said, “O accursed!

these marks are the manifest signs of thy guilt!” They carried him before the Governor, whilst he said to himself, “I am now punished for my sins and none can deliver me save Allah Almighty!” The Governor addressing my brother asked him, “O

villain, what led thee to enter their house with intention to murther?”; and my brother answered, “I conjure thee by Allah, O

Emir, hear my words and be not hasty in condemning me!” But the Governor cried, “Shall we listen to the words of a robber who hath beggared these people, and who beareth on his back the scar of his stripes?” adding, “They surely had not done this to thee, save for some great crime.” So he sentenced him to receive an hundred cuts with the scourge, after which they set him on a camel and paraded him about the city, proclaiming, “This is the requital and only too little to requite him who breaketh into people’s houses.” Then they thrust him out of the city, and my brother wandered at random, till I heard what had befallen him; and, going in search of him, questioned him of his case; so he acquainted me with his story and all his mischances, and I carried him secretly to the city where I made him an allowance for his meat and drink. Then the Caliph gave ear to

 

The Barber’s Tale of his Fifth Brother.

 

My fifth brother, Al-Nashsh�r,[FN#659] the Babbler, the same who was cropped of both ears, O Commander of the Faithful, was an asker wont to beg of folk by night and live on their alms by day.

Now when our father, who was an old man well stricken in years sickened and died, he left us seven hundred dirhams whereof each son took his hundred; but, as my fifth brother received his portion, he was perplexed and knew not what to do with it. While in this uncertainty he bethought him to lay it out on glass ware of all sorts and turn an honest penny on its price. So he bought an hundred dirhams worth of verroterie and, putting it into a big tray, sat down to sell it on a bench at the foot of a wall against which he leant back. As he sat with the tray before him he fell to musing and said to himself, “Know, O my good Self, that the head of my wealth, my principal invested in this glass ware, is an hundred dirhams. I will assuredly sell it for two hundred with which I will forthright buy other glass and make by it four hundred; nor will I cease to sell and buy on this wise, till I have gotten four thousand and soon find myself the master of much money. With these coins I will buy merchandise and jewels and ottars[FN#660] and gain great profit on them; till, Allah willing, I will make my capital an hundred thousand dirhams. Then I will purchase a fine house with white slaves and eunuchs and horses; and I will eat and drink and disport myself; nor will I leave a singing man or a singing woman in the city, but I will summon them to my palace and make them perform before me.” All this he counted over in his mind, while the tray of glass ware,: worth an hundred dirhams, stood on the bench before him, and, after looking at it, he continued, “And when, Inshallah! my capital shall have become one hundred thousand[FN#661] dinars, I will send out marriage brokeresses to require for me in wedlock the daughters of Kings and Wazirs; and I will demand to wife the eldest daughter of the Prime Minister; for it hath reached me that she is perfect in beauty and prime in loveliness and rare in accomplishments. I will give a marriage settlement of one thousand dinars; and, if her father consent, well: but if not I will take her by force from under his very nose. When she is safely homed in my house, I will buy ten little eunuchs[FN#662]

and for myself a robe of the robes of Kings and Sultans; and get me a saddle of gold and a bridle set thick with gems of price.

Then I will mount with the Mamelukes preceding me and surrounding me, and I will make the round of the city whilst the folk salute me and bless me; after which I will repair to the Wazir (he that is father of the girl) with armed white slaves before and behind me and on my right and on my left. When he sees me, the Wazir stands up, and seating me in his own place sits down much below me; for that I am to be his son in law. Now I have with me two eunuchs carrying purses, each containing a thousand dinars; and of these I deliver to him the thousand, his daughter’s marriage settlement, and make him a free gift of the other thousand, that he may have reason to know my generosity and liberality and my greatness of spirit and the littleness of the world in my eyes.

And for ten words he addresses to me I answer him two. Then back I go to my house, and if one come to me on the bride’s part, I make him a present of money and throw on him a dress of honour; but if he bring me a gift, I give it back to him and refuse to accept it,[FN#663] that they may learn what a proud spirit is mine which never condescends to derogate. Thus I establish my rank and status. When this is done I appoint her wedding night and adorn my house showily! gloriously! And as the time for parading