What A Wonderful World - Jon Kelley (the mitten read aloud .txt) 📗

I remember the first time it happened, I was, I think I was five. I remember it was summer. I remember being mad at my mother. She wouldn’t buy me this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sword. I remember now how stupid it was. It was a sword that blew bubbles. But I wanted it so bad. It’s easy to want something so lame and get so mad because you can’t get it.
Well, we were in the kids section at K-Mart. I was yelling and making a scene. My mother was being a good sport about it. She always had patience with me. I never really had any friends. I was the “weird kid at school.” That’s just putting it mildly.
So at this time I’m kicking and screaming, I’m yelling and acting like, a typical five year old. When I was little and I got mad, I’d hold my breath. This time, I kept my breath in. I stopped breathing completely. I wanted that Teenage Mutant Turtle sword that bad. My mother said something to me, but I couldn’t make it out. I remember falling. I remember colors.
When I awoke, I was in the car. My mother was sitting next to me. She said if I was a good boy, she would buy me a toy. But that had already happened…
So, that was the first time I had time traveled. Yeah, I know, it sounds weird doesn’t it?
In case you are wondering, I am on medication now. This quack doctor I have, he says I’m a “Paranoid Delusional Personality,” whatever that means. He should go back to the “Roaring Twenties” with me. We can see who is delusional then. Of all the places I’ve warped to, being in a speak easy with F. Scott Fitzgerald while watching Louis Armstrong play was the best warp I’ve had.
I haven’t really warped much until this last month. I was working in my cubicle. I worked at this company that averaged multi-billion dollar revenues. I was a CSR there. Nobody liked me. Like I’ve said, I was never “that guy,” never Mr. Popular.
Like I said, I was working my normal shift. They called me to see my superior, Mr. White. He was the epitome of every bad boss that you’d see in the movies or hear about in stories. He never liked me. The only reason I got that job was because my mother’s neighbor was the human resources lady there.
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She passed away last week, it’s been very hard for me.
Her neighbor was great friends with her, she got me the job to pay for treatment. That was a year ago, I’ve been skimming by at this job since. I’m not a good with people.
So, I’m in Mr. White’s office. By the look of his brow, I can only think he’s constipated, which means I’m in real trouble. He asks me to sit down and lays the news on me.
He tells me that since my mother has died, he can’t keep me on payroll. That I freak people out too much, I have weird mannerisms and no people skills. He says that he only kept me on to pay for her hospital bills.
“Look Lance, I’m sure you now have enough money to pay off her bills and funeral. I can’t keep you on. You’re making us lose money. Do you know how many customers have stopped coming to us after speaking with you? We can’t have that.” Mr. White says to me, his coffee breath making me cringe even more than this horrible news.
He tells me I was the worst employee that he’s ever seen. He tells me he’s sorry, but I’ve never been right for this job.
Then he tells me to get out of his office.
I have no room to say anything.
I kick his coffee table and make my way out. There is so much more I want to do, I want to throw a chair through that bastard’s window that looks out to some odd number of cubicles. I want to jump over his desk and strangle him. I want to tell him that everyone knows what he does in the bathroom. I want to tell him so much more, I want to make his life hell for this. Maybe it’s just my condition. But by the time I get outside, past the doors, I’m overwhelmed by the fact that I have no purpose left. I don’t have the motivation to keep going on.
I made my way through the sliding doors, back into the building, after seeing I wasn’t headed for Mr. White, security thought that I was just going to get my stuff. I climbed the stairs that lead me to the roof. I looked up to the sky. What was the point? Why was I here in this moment? Why do I always seem to disappoint my mother? She’s always been there for me, when the other kids would call me a freak and beat me up. She’d always say something just right. She’d always say that I was special, that no matter what happens, I have a purpose. I’d like to know what that is now mom.
I closed my eyes and spread my arms. I thought of how stupid it was to do this, I thought of how my funeral would go. About how no one would show up. Maybe some of my coworkers, they’d cry and say that I was in a better place, that they wish they had taken more time to get to know me, that I was really a good guy. But in reality, it was just another day off of work to them.
The wind whipped across my face, it felt like nothing I have ever experienced. This moment, I felt right, the thoughts I had about this being stupid, well, they actually were wrong. This was right. I thought about this one day I was with my mother, it was the day she went to the doctor with me. She was waiting for the results of her test, the day she was told she had cancer. I’ll never forget her face. She seemed like she already knew, and completely and wholly was fine with the news.
After hearing that she had cancer, I broke down. Who was going to be there for me? She held me close and told me she’s had a good life, that she is okay. That it was meant to happen.
Falling with great velocity now, I opened my eyes to see my target. Mr. White’s car. I wonder how much it will cost to fix this.
I come crashing down on his Lexus. I fall through it, and I’m surrounded by darkness, my eyes are still closed, but I still have inertia.
I open my eyes and they meet my mothers.
“It’s alright Lance, I’ve had an amazing life, I’ve seen more happiness and sadness then most people. I’ve had my heart filled up with everything, and I’ve had it broken. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I have to go at some point.”
I looked around. How was this happening? I was back in Dr. Russel’s office. I knew that much. I looked at his calendar, I could tell by all the exes on it that it was in fact November 18th 2011. How could this be? How could I be here?
That was when I realized what had happened to me when I was five years old wasn’t my imagination.
I could travel back in time. I wasn’t just delusional, I wasn’t just crazy. I was on my meds when this happened, it is real.
For me to warp, all I have to do is concentrate on when and where, I thought I had to hold my breath and fall, but I was wrong. I’ve always had this power. To get back to the present, I only need to remember what I saw last, and I needed to concentrate on that. Needless to say, I left the day when she was told about cancer. I warped back to when I was a kid, I was at a theme park with her. I remember the smell of greasy French fries, the ozone smell that comes right before it rains. I was angry because we had to leave since it was raining. But we ended up going to a bowling alley and had fun. The only problem was, when I went back in time, I was still a 26 year old man. I wasn’t ten years old. The only thing I could do was watch from a distance. I was happy with that. I wanted to stay here. But, I couldn’t stay as long as I liked.
I was pulled over by a police officer, because I had in fact stolen a car and was following my mother and I for quite a while. Before he could make it to the window of the car, I was already back in the present.
I sat up. My hand was bleeding, but I was still alive. I had cut my hand on some jagged metal on the car I had totaled. There was an outline of my body in the roof of Mr. White’s car. It was actually pretty cool. Back in time, I had thought about warping back to the present to throw a chair through his office window, to jump over his desk and strangle him, but this would do fine.
Since then, I was an addict. I couldn’t stop warping. It was hard to warp to the days where I was outdoors, where I could watch from a distance. The only days where I didn’t need to worry about that, the days where I could still pull off my age, they were sad days, her cancer days.
I never could warp to the future though. I’ve tried many times. I found that I could warp to moments in time that I hadn’t experienced. I just needed to concentrate harder.
I warped to all the memorable days in history. I saw the signing of the Declaration of Independence. I watched the Beatles get off that jet on February 7th 1964. You couldn’t imagine the headache it gave me, with all the screaming teenagers and old timey cameras flashing constantly.
I made love to many women in the 60’s. It was so easy. That was an alright time to be alive. I’ve really worked on my skills with women. And my people skills. I no longer freak people out as much. I've really been talking to the ladies. Since, if I say the wrong thing, I can just go back and say the right thing. Problem solved.
I watched Kennedy die, I looked around for who made the shot, it was Oswald. I looked into that one a lot more.
I watched the moon landing. I watched the World Trade Center go down. I watched many many natural disasters, Katrina, Haiti, the nuclear bombings of Syria and even the one her in New Jersey. I even watched when California sunk into the ocean. All of it. It’s made my heart break. It’s also made my heart full of light.
After what seemed like multiple lifetimes, I made my way to the present. I began speaking even more with attractive women. I used my advantages. I found a love. I had to warp a lot to be Mr. Right, but I didn’t mind.
I found “The One,” her name