"TATER" - Eunice and Toonis - Martin "Tater" Boring (phonics story books txt) 📗

.................. TATER ..........

Now I Dunno Why things happen the way they do … or what makes us choose the paths we’re on….I Couldn’t tell ya if it was fate, the Burbon, or planetary alignment ….. But I ain’t never been one to question it ...… I just pretty much take it that its just where the Big Man wants us to be at that particular moment in time … Sometimes we get rewarded and sometimes we get taught a valuble lesson :-s ….
And BOY Have I been Taught Many a valuble lesson! :p

This past week my cousin Addie lou sent me a request about wantin me to come up with some stories about what Life was like growin up with Eunice and Toonis. She said it was some sort of Project that she and her new friend Annette had cooked up …. Sumtin about How our world was changing and tryin to preserve our old country ways …. I certainly know what she means, … Most of the kids I see these days are indoor kids … probably have never set foot in a sandbox … I have one friend whose children use language that would make my dawg blush! …. I sure hope they never go near Eunice…. She’d beat the tar out of em whether they were her kids or not! :p
It certainly doesn’t surprise me that Addie Lou would try and drag me into this … seems like she always has one hair brained idea after another ….. She’s the one that tied chicken hawk feathers to my handle bars and told me I would be now be able to jump Crippletoe Creek with my tricycle :-s … and It Looked like it was Gonna Work too! … Up until about 2 feet into the flight ….. I wound up with an earful of mud and a concussion :-s
I Think I’m gonna write under the family nickname of "Tater" … that way If I fall flat on my face I’ll be able to go out in public still without any shame :p ….. How’d I get this name you ask? …. Uuughhhh I knowed You was gonna ask ……
Well ya see …. Wasn’t long after the Crippletoe Creek incident That I was lookin to get a little payback at Addie …. I found a rat snake out by the barn and kept it for this special occasion hehe ..… it was a little one only about 3 and a half foot long …. I kept him in an old wash tub back behind the medicine barn ….. I kept it covered up with an old wooden door that the hinges had rusted off from a tool cabinet. I kept him a couple of weeks…fed him sum frogs all the while waitin for the right moment : - ) ….
Well that Moment finally came hehe …. a Bunch of us boys was out playin sum kickball in the backyard, when Addie come out of the house and headed to the pottyhouse back behind the yard where we was playin ….. PERFECT! Hehe ……
I run an got “Sammy” (I know not very original name for a snake but what do ya expect from the mind of a 6 yr old?) …. I sneakt up on that ole outhouse all quiet, … just barely able to contain myself from laffin outloud and givin it away …..
It was your typical outhouse with the slanted tin roof and slitted holes around the top for ventilation, no more than 7 foot tall. It had the wooden door with a hook latch on the inside, it also had another cutout just above the door again to help air it out…..
Well I’m sure whoever thought up that air vent above the door, … that it never occurred to them that it was Just perfect for chunkin a rat snake through :p …. And that is just what happened :-p …….
Well I tell you Addie Lou come Flyin out of there screamin like a banshee! (whatever a Banshee is?) … Her drawers were still down around the knees ... but she was more concerned about the snake wrapped around her neck :p … Her arms was just a flailing like a chicken with its head cut off….. Now somehow she decided she could get back to the safety of the house quicker.. by steppin out of them drawers.. rather than takin the time to pull em up …. She managed to shake Sammy and the drawers about the same time…. And when I saw that Butt Nekkid flash headin back to the house I immediately thought Oh Gawd …. Don’t let Eunice see this! ….
So I grabbed her shorts and chased after her tryin to catch her in time ….well apparently she thought I had picked up Sammy instead of her clothes which hastened her trek even more :p … as I was coming up the few steps of the back porch, … Addie had just made it inside the back door to where the Kitchen was ……..
Now I don’t know why I took this chosen path that day … or If it was the good lord laid that Potato there the size of a softball on the counter Just as Addie made her way inside the door ….
I Do know I got a Valuble Lesson that day ….. Along with a Black Eye the Size of Jupiter :-s …….
Well I guess Eunice must have figured Addie had served all the Justice that was necessary that Day, … as she never said a word to me about it .… The only thing I DO remember that was said…. was Later that night at Supper when Toonis said to me .... “Hey "Tater"! Pass me one of dem dinner rolls “ … and I’ve been called that ever since :-s

Text: Story Idea, Characters, Concept, Property of Martin and Boring please do not print or copy without permission
Publication Date: 02-17-2011

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To All of My Grandparents Without whom these Stories Would not be Possible :-)