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After Google's announcement last month that they intended to expand their mapping project to include the entirety of our solar system, skepticism abounds. But the nay-sayers must eat their own words as earlier this week, Google reported that its first Street View Shuttle has landed on Mars with its skeleton crew of 3 able-bodied Google techs. Little did these three self-described nerds expect what was waiting for them on the surface of our nearest neighbor, the crimson planet.
Initial reports describe the astromappers as setting up base camp with no difficulty and beginning their exploration of the canals, as they are the closest thing to roads that Mars boasts. Once at the bottom of these massive canyons, the team discovered a symmetrical opening into a sheer rock wall. Intrigued, they passed through the gaping hole and found a very level path, with smooth, even walls. Following this passage, the nerd herd could feel the path gradually descending, until it finally leveled out and they saw a light around a bend before them. Creeping closer and peeking around the corner, the three were struck dumb by the sight that met their eyes.
An entire village was carved out of the rock here in this space deep under the wind-blown surface of the planet. Walking about, in the daily grind of every intelligent race, were skeletally thin, vaguely reptilian figures, moving sinuously on two legs and carrying innocuous-looking burdens with four arms. The leader of the expedition, Tech Captain Haise, immediately tried to pull his team back, but curiosity won out for Charlotte “Call Me Charlie” Baird. She rushed into the open space, sending a ripple of shock through the natives as they all froze mid-motion and stared at the interlopers.
At first, communication was of the utmost concern, but it proved to be a moot point when the Martians started speaking perfect English. The three Google techs quickly learned that the Martians had detected the previous NASA expeditions to their planet and went to great lengths to assure the doorways to their widespread towns were hidden. The Google expedition got lucky since their ship didn't have as large a radar signature. Talks continue to discover what we can learn from these alien beings, and to ascertain the chain of events that led to this colony.

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Publication Date: 08-09-2011

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