HER CHOICE - PVV Satyanarayana (big ebook reader .txt) 📗

HER CHOICE

MANISH HAD ATTEMPTED suicide!

Pooja and Gokul could not digest the news. Shocked, they rushed to the hospital where he was admitted. They were unable to comprehend that their dear friend could do such a foolish thing. His failure at securing a job had driven Manish to take that extreme step. He had survived miraculously, however.

Manish was in the hospital for a week and his two friends were by his side through out, taking turns, taking care of him and cheering him.

After Manish was discharged from the hospital, Pooja took him to task for his senseless act. “I never thought that you are such a coward and feeble-minded as to attempt suicide!” she had burst out angrily.

Manish had no courage to face her. Ashen faced, he had chosen to keep quiet. He kept on looking away at the bellowing sea, hoping that her bombardment would mellow down, even as he tried to fight his tears.

They were sitting in the beach-park. The air was surcharged with emotions. They were there for half-an-hour. Pooja was so furious that she had been rebuking and reprimanding him ever since. He had been receiving it silently.

When Gokul joined them, both were lost in their own thoughts, allowing the roar of the sea to rule over. Finding the mood in the air to be somber and sulky, he tried to ease the situation.

He had generated a deep sigh and remarked, “I have been blaming the traders all along for adulteration…till I have discovered now to my wonder that it could also save lives – occasionally!”

His comment drew giggles, lightening the moods.

POOJA, MANISH AND Gokul were good friends. They did their post-graduation in Political Science together. Their friendship had blossomed into close fraternity. Even after two years since they left the University, the trio remained good friends. If anything, their closeness had only strengthened over the period. Like anyone, they too stepped out of the University with the degrees and colourful dreams. It, however, did not take much time to find their dreams and hopes shattered.

Even as the Universities transformed into ‘factories’ and churned out thousands of graduates and post-graduates in various faculties, very few were lucky to get a placement in the job market. The rest would be rusting, not knowing what to do with those paper qualifications. In a country where nepotism, corruption and recommendations ruled unabated, merit gets a sever beating. Their hopes and dreams severely shattered, the educated youth would get frustrated and lapse into depression. By the time they realized that their degrees were worth not even a morsel of food, they would be sure to become a junk. The result is that the youth – the future of the nation – would lose faith in the system and forfeit self-confidence. This unfortunate situation is quite often exploited by the anti-socials who are out to misguide the gullible youth for their own benefit. It is in this scenario that some like Manish attempted to end their lives out of sheer frustration and acute distress.

While Manish and Gokul were still in pursuit of employment, Pooja was lucky to join a computer institute as a faculty, with the diploma in computers she did after post-graduation.

Manish hailed from a lower-middle class family like Pooja. His father expired when Manish was in college. This had derailed the family. Manish wanted to discontinue his studies to support the family comprising his mother and younger sister. But his mother did not allow him. She had started tailoring while his sister made papads, etc. and sold them to shops. This way they could sustain Manish’s studies till he completed his post-graduation. All in the hope that once he finished his PG, he could secure a good job bringing their trials and tribulations to an end. But, then, everyone’s hopes had dashed to pieces and dreams demolished, with the passage of time.

Manish was not lacking in his efforts at finding employment. What was lacking was the ability to fit into the nefarious nexus of nepotism, corruption and recommendation. Of late he became more frustrated at his inability to feed his family at whose cost he had educated himself. So at a weak moment, his mind gave in. And he had attempted to commit suicide. However, as the luck would have it, he could survive the attempt – thanks to the ‘adulterated’ poison he had taken!

Gokul, unlike Manish, was insouciant and easy-going. He hailed from a family that was below poverty line. His father was a railway coolie whose earnings were hardly sufficient to feed five mouths. The family often went hungry. Gokul had studied with the help of the scholarship he had earned his studiousness in studies. There was no door he had knocked at for a job. He did not lose heart at his failure in securing one. Instead, he had started doing odd jobs that came his way. He distributed newspapers and milk packets. He also undertook a few tuitions. And he had never allowed frustration or depression to take better of him.

WITH THE ENCOURAGEMENT and exhortation by his friends, Manish could soon recover from distress. With the constant prodding and motivation especially by Pooja who had taken special interest in him, Manish could overcome his frustration and shake himself off the shackles of depression.

Meanwhile the government happened to invite applications for Group-II services. The three friends had applied for the same and made a combined preparation for the examination. While Manish and Gokul could get through the preliminaries, Pooja had failed in it. This had taken the sheen out the boys who felt immensely sorry for her. But Pooja brushed them off saying, “For me, getting through the selection by the prospective groom is more important than qualifying in the prelims!”

She would manage books from various sources and help them in their preparation for the main examination. She showed special interest in Manish, though.

Unsure of himself, once Manish had asked Pooja when they met at the beach-park. “Tell me frankly, Pooja. Do you think that I could make it to the final selection?”

“Why not?” Pooja was surprised. “What made you to doubt your own ability?”

“I have attended many interviews in the past and could not succeed in any of them. This thought often bothers me and shakes my confidence,” confessed Manish.

Pooja studied him carefully. Pointing at the raging waves of the sea, she said calmly, “Have you ever observed those waves carefully, Manish? Feeling trapped in the sea, they constantly try with a fury to free themselves and to reach the shore. They are shattered as soon as they touched the shore and would recede into the sea again. Yet they never get discouraged, or lose hopes and confidence. Hoping to achieve their goal someday, they keep on trying constantly with renewed vigour. And with a vengeance…They are a great source of inspiration to man, if at all he cares to understand, you know? We have a lot to learn from them, I strongly feel”.

Manish stared at the sea and the ever-rising waves, as if he were seeing them for the first time. He seemed to find a new meaning in them.

“Manish!” continued Pooja in the same vein. “Whenever you seem to lose your self-confidence, you should try to remember those waves, I suggest. It could boost your spirits”.

Manish eyed her admiringly. He always revered her for her uncanny ability at analyzing any problem in depth and with an insight.

“I am sure you can make it to the top one day, Manish, if only you have faith in yourself”. Pooja touched his hand reassuringly.

Manish was touched by her inspiring words, even as her touch had injected fresh enthusiasm into him, restoring his self-confidence… He loved her silently and wished that she would be by his side through out his life, guiding him. But he did not dare to express his love to her, till he got a position in life. Once he secured a job he would propose to her, he would tell himself.


The examination was over and only Manish could pass it. He had also got through the viva and was selected to Group-II. After completion of the training, he had been inducted as an Assistant Commercial Tax Officer and posted in the State’s capital. Pooja and Gokul felt exultant and rejoiced the triumph of their dear friend. They were happy that at least one of them could make it. They became sad albeit as he was separating from them to join his posting. Manish moved to the new place with his mother and sister.

Pooja was stunned when Manish told her abruptly at the railway station, “Pooja, I love you!” Even before she could react, the train had started.

Gokul, who had overheard it, was all smiles. He squinted at Pooja and said teasingly, “Congrats! He would make a perfect hubby!”

Pooja stared silently at Gokul. ‘Does this fellow not have any jealousies at all…?!’ she wondered.

AS THE TIME passed, many things had happened. Manish had completed his probation successfully and got confirmed in his post. Pooja had joined a private college as a Lecturer, while Gokul joined a government school as a P.T. teacher.

Of late Pooja was dominating Manish’s thoughts. For, his mother was pressing him to marry. Manish loved Pooja more than anyone else. He had never dared to express his love to her, though, when he was closer to her. For fear of being rebuked and rejected. Now the situation was different. He was a government officer now and bestowed with a status in society. She would have no reason to turn him down. Rather she should jump at the offer. Even otherwise he had a strong feeling that Pooja too loved him. Else, she would not have evinced special interest in me, he told himself. He was sure that his ‘I love you!’ to her at the railway station would set her mind towards him by now.

Manish told his mother about his love for Pooja and obtained her consent. He went to meet Pooja to propose to her. Pooja and Gokul were pleasantly surprised at his sudden visit. For, it was two years since they had met personally. In the meantime they kept in touch with one another by telephone and mail, though. Manish looked more handsome and robust now. His job had apparently added grace and dignity. Pooja and Gokul enquired about his job and how he liked it. They talked about their own jobs and lives.

Later in the evening, Manish met Pooja at their usual meeting place, the beach-park. And expressed his wish to marry her.

Pooja looked at him in surprise and disbelief. She turned her head away and started looking at the evening sun that was setting into the sea.

Seeing her falling silent, Manish said, “I love you, Pooja. I could not lay my heart before you earlier for