Angel Child - David & Stacey Doss (carter reed .TXT) 📗

Angel Child

"Honey, Honey, wake up!" she whispered in his ear.
"What? It's too early..." he moaned with eyes closed tight.
"Hun, you're going to be a daddy!" She shook his shoulder with excitement. His eyes popped open and he rolled to face her.
"What? Are you serious?"
"Yes I am!"
"Oh, thank you, Jesus!" he praised. They embraced, sharing in their mutual joy. After 2 years of marriage, they were finally going to be parents.
They spent the next few days in fevered excitement, planning the baby's room, making lists of items they would need, discussing discipline methods; everything that brand-new parents-to-be usually do. They didn't have to decide on names, though. They were set on Khrystina Marie for a girl, and Richard Scott for a boy. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Cindy was on Cloud Nine when she went to work. She couldn't keep the excitement inside, and shared the news with all her friends. The coming baby was the only sunshine in a normally stressful job.
"How far along are you?" her coworker, Debbie asked.
"I think about six weeks or so. I haven't been to the doctor yet. He told me to wait until I was nine weeks, and then come see him."
"So you're still pretty early. Are you sick or anything?"
"No, just very, very tired. Steve gets aggravated because I come home and fall asleep."
"Yeah, that's normal."
When Cindy was about eight weeks along, she started feeling crampy and "off." She couldn't really describe her feelings, but she'd read that some of her symptoms were normal, so she didn't worry. One day, though, she started bleeding. It was light, but she was worried. She called the doctor, who got her in the next day.
Steve held her hand in the waiting room. They both trembled, fearful of bad news. "Cindy," the nurse called.
"I'll wait for you right here."
She reached and grabbed his hand. "No, I want you with me. I don't want to go alone."
The room was cool, and full of weird exam machines that Steve would love to check out. Cindy sat on the table and the nurse handed her a gown to change into.
The doctor came in and had Cindy lay back. She felt subconscious, and trembled from nerves, fear, and the cold in the room. The doctor squeezed some blue stuff on her stomach, which made her jump because it was cold. He then moved the ultrasound paddle around.
"Well, Cindy, I see the sac." He turned the screen so both of them could see. He hovered just to the left and below her belly button. "See this ring? That's where the baby is." He shifted the ultrasound slightly and the ring came more into focus. "We should see the heartbeat here. It looks like a flashing light." He moved the machine more, but no flashing light appeared.
"Is anything wrong?" Cindy asked, her voice cracking.
"Not necessarily. You might not be as far along as you thought." He wiped the goop off her belly. "Let's wait a couple of days and check again."
The nurse helped him replace the equipment then left the room. Cindy was teary-eyed as she looked deeply into Steve's eyes. "You heard the doctor, Cindy. There's nothing to worry about. All we can do is trust God and see what happens in two days."
"I know, but I'm scared."
He hugged her.
Two days later they found themselves back in the room, goop on the belly. The doctor moved the ultrasound around, but there was no sign of the ring.
"I'm sorry, Cindy, but there's no sign of the heartbeat. In fact, there's no ring. It appears that you've miscarried. It’s not uncommon for a first pregnancy. Many women experience it, but because it’s so early, they think they just had a longer than usual cycle." She caught her breath. "Have you had any unusual pain or excessive bleeding?"
"No, just spotting. Some sharp pains on my left side, though."
"Hmm. Could be an ectopic pregnancy, or an incomplete miscarriage. I'm going to send you over to the hospital for a laparoscopy and D & C."
The doctor and the nurse left the room, and Cindy and Steve fell into each other's arms, sobbing, their hearts broken. There would be no baby this time.
Cindy was terrified of the surgery; she hadn't even had a broken bone all her life. She made it through fine, however, and Steve was in the room with her as she came to. They held hands, their grief too great for words.
Cindy and Steve both found themselves asking God why. Why did they lose the baby? What did they do wrong? They struggled to find their peace, to avoid laying blame, crying out both silently and in groans as they prayed.
***
"My child, come to me."
The little angel came running. "Yes, Lord?"
"I have a job for you. It's a very special work that needs you and no one else."
"What is it?"
He pointed to the couple kneeling beside their bed, sobbing. "You see that couple? They are very special people. I had sent you to them to be their baby."
"Really? They were my mommy and daddy?"
"Yes. They were going to name you Khrystina. But I called you back to me."
"But why?"
"They aren't ready to be parents, my child. They need to grow a bit more before I can bless them."
"What is my job, Lord?"
"I want you to help them grow. I want you to lead them closer to me."
***
Their grief blinded them, and they stumbled through the days. Cindy worried that Steve blamed her because of her stressful job. Steve wondered if Cindy had done something wrong; if she’d eaten the wrong thing, or got hit in the stomach sometime, or anything. He wanted to know why, why, why.
The only lifeline in the dark was their hope that God had a reason, a purpose, for taking their baby. They found themselves talking, really talking, about their feelings. At first, Cindy was afraid to share her thoughts. She didn’t want Steve to think she was attacking him, but she wanted to let him know that his constant, “Did you do this? Did you get hit in the stomach? Did you eat that?” was driving her crazy. She didn’t want twenty questions; she had no answers. All she knew was her baby was gone before she ever had a chance to feel it move, or hold it.
Steve didn’t know how to share his pain; he was used to bottling up everything. He would get angry at first when Cindy would try to pry into his heart, but as time went on, he learned that she wasn’t going to slice him in little pieces, and that they could get through this better together. They knew a miscarriage would either split them apart, or bring them closer together, and they were both determined to have the latter.
"Lord, I will love you, no matter what. I know this trial is hard, oh so hard, but you have a purpose. I may not understand, I may get angry, but I know I can trust you. I ask you to forgive me my doubt and anger. Please, Lord, heal this pain. Help my Cindy to not blame herself. Help me to help her. Draw us closer together, and closer to you, through this," Steve cried out one day while Cindy was at the store. It had been three months since the miscarriage. "Lord, please, somehow, someway, touch me. Let me know you're there." Steve felt the pressure of a small hand in his. He opened his eyes and looked around. There was no one in the room.
He shifted in place, moving his hand, but still felt the pressure. It was a light touch, just a feathery feeling, but he knew in his heart of hearts that someone held his hand. "Thank you, Lord!" he cried.
***
"Is this what you want me to do, Lord?"
"Yes, child, that is exactly what I want you to do."
***
"Hey, Cindy, I have something to ask you," Steve called from the living room. Cindy put the load of folded towels down and joined him.
"Yeah, Steve? What's going on? Bad day at work today?"
"Yeah, how could you tell?"
"You look like you just lost your best friend." A twinge hit both of them in the heart, squeezing tightly as they remembered their recent loss.
"Wh-at," Steve choked. He pulled himself together, and began again, "What do you think about me quitting this job and working for the grocery store?"
"Huh?"
"I know it's a stretch, and I would be working nights, but I have to find something better, something not so stressful."
"Wow, uh, ok, um, I guess that'd be ok. Why don't we pray about it?"
"Well, I have been praying and whenever I pray, I feel this little hand in mine, pulling me in that direction."
"Really? Then I guess that's what you should do. Just make sure you get the job before you give your notice."
"I already have the job. I talked to Tim on Monday, and had the interview yesterday. He called me and wants me to start next week."
"Oh, that's awesome, Steve!" Cindy's excitement bubbled over into a tight hug. She was happy that he was leaving a dead-end job that caused so much stress that Steve would be physically sick.
"It will take me away at night; that's the only bad thing. I'll work from 10 until 7 on floor care, mopping and waxing and such, but it'll be a whole lot less stress on me, and on us."
"We'll manage. I'm just happy that you will be working somewhere you will enjoy. You know I'll stand by you no matter what."
"Aww, you're making me blush, Hun!"
Steve worked hard, and things went well for about six months.
"Steve, it's time to get up. You need to get ready for work," Cindy called into the bedroom as she passed. About five minutes later, she realized he still hadn't budged, so she went to shake him. "Steve, come on now, it's time to get up."
He rolled over and she gasped. "Oh, my God, Steve, you're so pale! What's wrong?"
"My chest hurts...I feel like I'm dying..." he gasped.
She helped him out of the bed and into some shoes. He was weak and shaky, and Cindy struggled to keep him upright. He shuffled out the door to the car, Cindy right by his side. Her heart pounded and fears stormed in her mind as she tried to aim the car toward the hospital. She kept looking at Steve as she drove; he grew paler until he was gray. She wanted to cry, but was afraid it would blind her and they would crash.
She pulled up to the outpatient area and somehow got Steve through the door and into a wheelchair. The staff immediately rushed him to the emergency room, while Cindy filled out paperwork.
Cindy finally got back to Steve's room and perched herself on the edge of the bed to stroke his hair. She gently brushed the strands from his forehead as she prayed, "Oh, Jesus, please touch Steve and heal his body. You know what the problem is, Lord. You created his body and you can fix it. Please help him. I know you will touch him."
***
"Lord, do you hear her prayer?"
"Yes, little one. I hear."
"Are you going to make him better?"
"You'll have to watch and see."
Khrystina eased her hand into Cindy's and brushed it with her thumb.
***