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~ TOY STORY ~

How did I get ā€œhereā€?



"Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarrassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?"

~Tom Cruise


Youā€™re probably wondering what ā€œhereā€ means. ā€œHereā€ means standing in my front yardā€¦itā€™s a beautiful, sunny Sunday evening, around 5:00 p.m. in Long Beach, CAā€¦the ā€œPromised Landā€ā€¦the ā€œLand of Paradiseā€. And most days, it isā€¦today is no exceptionā€¦or so I thought! Little did I know that this would turn out to be a life-changing day that I would never forget.

My beautiful, precocious 2-year old grandson, Marcus (for whom I am temporary caregiver due to dual-parent military deployment), is watching his idol, Jimmy Neutron (he calls him ā€œTeutronā€) on TV. I guess itā€™s a good time for me to go quench the thirst of my wilting plants out front, because in a minute, heā€™ll be hungry again (of course heā€™ll only want to eat Skittles).

I glance over at Marcus one last time before I head out into the beautiful southern California sunshine. Heā€™s so mesmerized by ā€œTeutronā€ that I donā€™t think he even knows Iā€™ve left the room. I love that boy so muchā€¦heā€™s such a good boy!

The neighbors are all outsideā€¦watering their lawns, doing yard workā€¦washing carsā€¦chatting amongst themselves. I say ā€œHiā€ to Bill and Dixie across the street. Theyā€™re sweet, church-going people who add a special element to our neighborhood; theyā€™ve been living here for a long time and can relate all the history involving this area.

Next door to them and directly across the street from me is Stacy, a single mom with 2 teenage boys; theyā€™re doing yard work. On the other side of Bill and Dixie are Jean and Cory ā€“ very sweet couple ā€“ love hanging out with them, especially during football season. Theyā€™re washing their carsā€¦just chillinā€™.

On the other side of Stacy lives Adam and his girlfriend, Monica; she moved here from Italy just last year. Theyā€™re a very cute couple and lots of fun.

Immediately next to them are Dave and Judi ā€“ heā€™s an HR specialist and sheā€™s an employment law attorney; they are wonderful people and I love them dearly. (Donā€™t know what Iā€™d do without them at times, like so many of my neighbors.) I wave to Judi, whoā€™s standing on their front porch.

To my right, are Larry and Claudia and their teenage son, Shawn. They are a wonderful familyā€¦so incredibly nice. I know I could ask them for just about anything and theyā€™d be there for me. Theyā€™re doing some yard work, too.

On my left are Bobby and Rachael ā€¦sweet newlyweds. When I was initially going through difficult, emotional times related to my divorce, they always offered a kind word or gesture, just like all of my neighbors, at a time when I needed it most.

Next to Bobby and Rachael is my friend, Joyce, who has been a vibrant source of inspiration to me. Farther down the street are the Bensons ā€“ Doug, Melanie, Jared and Sophie ā€“ great family, but more about them later (lots to tell there).

Hmmā€¦.I feel so serene and so blessed to be living in this wonderful neighborhood, surrounded by these amazing people. The rest of my street is filled with a collection of fabulous, incredible peopleā€¦too many to name. I am confident that a better neighborhood does not exist anywhere in the world.

Itā€™s hotā€¦really hot. Itā€™s so hot that the water seems to disappear as soon as it hits the leafs of the plants and flowers I am attempting to rejuvenate. Is that a breeze? Ahhhhhhā€¦.the cool mist that blows across my face from the water hose is truly delightful. I close my eyes and find myself suspended in timeā€¦enjoying the sights and the sounds of my neighborhoodā€¦and of my life.

Itā€™s one of those moments that I will remember, always. I will be somewhere, one day years from now and remember this exact momentā€¦the soundsā€¦the smellsā€¦the way I feel, basking in the warm southern California sunshineā€¦but wait!!!!!

ā€œSerenityā€ shattered!!!



"Well-behaved women rarely make history."


~Laurel Thatcher Ulrich



Suddenly my front screen door swings open, shattering my serenity and my beloved Marcus comes barreling out. Heā€™s excited and beaming from ear to ear. Nothing unusual for a 2-year old, right?

But waitā€¦whatā€™s that in his hand???? NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Heā€™s holding my bright red female ā€œtoyā€ (cā€™mon, you know what I meanā€¦to him, itā€™s a ā€œtoyā€ā€¦itā€™s my V-I-B-R-A-T-O-R)!!! Of course itā€™s turned onā€¦humming away, bright lights flashing. ā€œGRAMMAā€¦BRRRā€¦TOY!!!!!ā€ he shrieks with pure delight. (Guess I REALLY am going to remember this moment in time, but for an entirely different reason!)

Waitā€¦how did he find that? And how did he figure out how to turn on the sounds AND the lights??? (I can barely figure it out myself!) I thought it was nestled safely in my nightstand drawer (which is, coincidentally, within his reach).

Funny, the ā€œHow to Childproof Your Homeā€ manual talks about things like safety gates, putting away dangerous substances and covering electrical outletsā€¦but not one of those darn more-than-you-need-to-know books mentions anything about hiding your vibratorā€¦imagine that! (I guess that should be my next projectā€¦writing an updated version of the ā€œchildproofing manualā€. I know Iā€™ll be sure to make mention of the importance of hiding your adult ā€œtoysā€!)

I forgot I even had that thing. (It was a Valentineā€™s Dayā€™s ā€œgiftā€ from my ex-husbandā€¦guess I missed that ā€œget-yourself-rightā€ message!) But of course, my 2-year old grandson would find it and show it to the whole neighborhood with reckless abandon!

And why did I have to choose those darn Energizer Bunny batteries? It wouldnā€™t have been quite so mind-blowing without the sound effects and flashing lightsā€¦darn thing just keeps going and going and going. Why - oh why - does it even have lightsā€¦whoā€™s going to see them??? (Other than my entire neighborhood, of course!) Aarrggghhh!!!! Now I know what ā€œshock and aweā€ meansā€¦and it has nothing to do with war.

Wanna get away???



"If you're going through hell, keep going."


~ Winston Churchill

How did I get hereā€¦in the middle of a commercial for Southwest Airlinesā€¦ā€wanna get awayā€? Heck, yeah I doā€¦and the sooner, the better!

I immediately spin around in horror! Everything is moving in slow motionā€¦oh my GAAWWWDDDD!!! The houses here are so close togetherā€¦.whoā€™s looking?? I want to scream, but thankfully, my horror gets caught in my throat.

Maybe no one is seeing thisā€¦if I scream, everyone will surely look! It seems to take me forever to run those few steps to where Marcus has made it to the other side of the yard. But of course, before I can reach him, he thinks weā€™re playing a game and makes a break for it, running down the sidewalk, relentlessly yelling ā€œBrrrrrrrrrr!!!ā€ When did he start to run so fast?

Finally - after what seems like an eternity, I reach him! I grab the blinking, pulsing, red monstrosity out of his tight-fisted, little hand and shove it under my shirt. Of course my shirt is white, so anyone who is witnessing this horror can still see the bright, flashing lights. Lord knows I donā€™t know how to turn them off and now is definitely not the time to ask little ā€œMr. Innocentā€ - who turned them on ā€“ for helpful hints.

I take his handā€¦unable to communicate to him what is happeningā€¦heck, I barely understand it myself. As I turn to go back to the house, with my face as red as the pulsating beast nestled beneath my shirt, I canā€™t even fathom how I will ever show my face in this neighborhood again. Heaven knows that suddenly being a single ā€œmotherā€ instead of a married grandmother is hard enough...but this? Are you kidding me?

My eyes are fixated on my destinationā€¦the front doorā€¦but it seems so far away! I finally reach the house (after what seems like an hour), with a confused Marcus in tow and once inside, I freeze in the horror of what has just transpired.

After several attempts at pushing every single stinkinā€™ button on it, I figure out how to silence the red beast and douse the blinking lights before I toss it into its intended resting place. Funnyā€¦it looks so deceptively harmless right nowā€¦just laying there in the drawer, silent and dark.

Okayā€¦in hindsight, I have to stop and wonder hereā€¦ā€why did I do thatā€? Unbeknownst to me, in just 2 short days, the red beast is going to rear its ugly ā€œheadā€ againā€¦this time when Iā€™m cooking dinner for a male ā€œfriendā€. What is wrong with me, besides the obvious?

It was one of those moments in life when everything inside of you is screaming ā€œstop itā€¦why are you doing that?ā€ but you just go ahead and do ā€œitā€ anyway. For instance, it's like when you're vacuuming your carpet and you see that string hanging down from your bedspread. Your mind tells you to shut off the vacuum cleaner, get a scissors and cut off the string; but you don'tā€¦and the next thing you know, half of your bedspread is wrapped around the brushes of your vacuum cleaner.

Or when youā€™re washing your favorite wine glass while holding it at the bottom and the stem snaps right off the glassā€¦and at that moment remembering thatā€™s why there was only this one remaining from a set of four.
Know what I mean?

I couldnā€™t even pause long enough to turn off the water. Thatā€™s okayā€¦my lawn really needs the water! Noā€¦really, itā€™s parched! Iā€™ll go back out and turn it off laterā€¦much laterā€¦when itā€™s very dark outside, only because it REALLY needs the water. Besidesā€¦Iā€™ve been neglecting my back yard (where no one can see me right now), so Iā€™d better go water that. Yupā€¦thatā€™s what Iā€™ll do.

Can we all just calm down???



"An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that and you start to age quickly."

~ Gene Perret

Finally I relax by mumbling to myselfā€¦ā€Can we all just calm down? No worries!ā€ My wonderful neighbors probably didnā€™t even see what just happened. And if they did, so what? They all have full lives ā€“ theyā€™ll have something else to talk about tomorrow and forget all about this. I am so lucky to live in a neighborhood where we all get along and respect each other AND each otherā€™s privacy.

In a different neighborhood ā€“ with different people - months from now, they would be standing outside talking with friends or other neighbors and politely wave to me; then when I am out of earshot, would say: ā€œsheā€™s the one I was telling you about ā€“ the one with the red vibrator!ā€ Without turning around or missing a step, Iā€™d mumble to

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