Say What? - Sandy Foster (cheapest way to read ebooks txt) 📗

Lowell Michelson
276. “I do what the voices in my head tell me to do.”
277. “What if life had a soundtrack?” – Me
278. “Alright! I know I’m in there! If I don’t come out with my hands up, I’m coming in after me.”
279. “What’s a place like me doing in a girl like this?” – Evelyn, The Mummy
280. “If you haven’t tried it, you should, because it’s fun…. And fun is good.” – Dr. Seuss
281. “God will take care of you day and night forever.”
282. “Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods.” – Japanese proverb
283. “The cigarette does the smoking, you’re just the sucker.”
284. “Some succeed because they are destined to. But some succeed because they are determined to.”
285. “If nobody knows the troubles you seen, then you don’t live in a small town.”
286. “Pain and suffering is inevitable, but misery is optional.”
287. “The truth is like ice water, it shocks you when it hits you, but no one’s ever died from it.”
288. “A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend with weed is better.”
289. “In a mad world, only the mad are sane.”
290. “When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in this world. My hope still is to leave the world a little better for my having been here. It’s a wonderful life and I love it.” – Jim Henson
291. “Champagne for my true friends and true pain for my sham friends.”
292. “I am the world’s greatest authority on my own opinion.”
293. “Life is as hard as you make it.”
294. “I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.”
295. “I said no to drugs. They just don’t listen.”
296. “We never really grow up… we just learn how to act in public.”
297. “People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought, which they seldom use.”
298. “I don’t have a big ego. I’m way too cool for that.”
299. “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”
300. “Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.”
301. “Incoming fire has the right of way.”
302. “Add years to your life instead of years to your life.”
303. “Odd objects attract fire. Never lurk behind them.”
304. “Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.”
305. “Illegal drugs are the chlorine in the gene pool.”
306. “The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.”
307. “It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.”
308. “At the end of your rope? Tie knot and swing.”
309. “A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.”
310. “A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.”
311. “I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.”
312. “A classic is a book that is much praised but rarely read.”
313. “A self-addressed enveloped would be addressed as ‘envelope’.”
314. “A wised man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.”
315. “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.”
316. “Always drink upstream from the herd.”
317. “Never test the depth of the water with both feet.”
318. “Character, like good soup, is made at home.”
319. “Today is tomorrow’s yesterday. If you are longing for ‘the good ole days’, you’re there, pal.”
320. “Brains by Mattel.”
321. “I go to bed early. My favorite dreams starts at 9.”
322. “A ton of regret never made an ounce of difference.”
323. “Forgiveness is like the fragrance a flower gives after it’s been stepped on.”
324. “I wrote a song, but I can’t read music. Every time I hear a song on the radio, I think, ‘Hey, maybe I wrote that.’”
325. “Love is friendship set on fire.”
326. “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the Present.”
327. “I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.”
328. “I’m not lazy. I’m just motivationally challenged.”
329. “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”
330. “They day the grass is greener on the other side, but have you ever flipped it over?”
331. “Just saying ‘No’ prevents teenage pregnancy the way ‘Have a nice day’ cures chronic depression.”
332. “When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.”
333. “I’m so broke, I can’t even pay attention.”
334. “Everyone is entitles to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.”
335. “It’s your life, I’m just passing through.”
336. “Nobody’s perfect and since I’m nobody…..”
337. “You’re just jealous because the little voices talk to me.”
338. “I think of Maggie because I made a place in my heart for her to live and it’s empty. It always will be. It always was. She loved you.” – Biff to Joshua, Lamb
339. “I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
340. “I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.”
341. “Life is like a coin – You can only spend it once.”
342. “Oh grow up.” – ABC Channel between commercials
343. “I think my camel is dead.” – Ryan Stiles, Whose Line Is It Anyway?
344. “Excuses are the easiest think to manufacture and the hardest thing to sell.”
345. “Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.”
346. “I used to have a photographic memory, but it was never developed.”
347. “Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.”
348. “Here’s a quarter, call somebody who cares.”
349. “Constant change is here to stay.”
350. “All you need is love.” – John Lennon
351. “Why are you here and what can I do to change that?”
352. “In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.”
353. “I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.”
354. “Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts.”
355. “Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.”
356. “Triumph is ‘umph’ added to try.”
357. “If you’re not living life on the edge, you’re wasting space.”
358. “If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?”
359. “As you slide down the banister of life, may there be no splinters pointing the wrong way.”
360. “Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.”
361. “I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.”
362. “I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.”
363. “I don’t think so, therefore I’m probably not.”
364. “The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.”
365. “Remember to share.” – Donatos pizza box
366. “God dances amid the common.” – Max Lucado
367. “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”
368. “Mosquitoes don’t discriminate.”
369. “A true friend is one who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re half-cracked.”
370. “When God was handing out personalities, He somehow ended up with two that were the same. He picked out two cute girls and gave them the matching personalities and thus Becky and Jill were made.” – Becky
371. “In the event of a fire, remain calm.”
372. “I am having an out of money experience.”
373. “I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.”
374. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
375. “All that is worth cherishing begins in the heart, not the head.” – Suzanne Chapin
376. “It’s the little things that make up the richest part of the tapestry of our lives.”
377. “A friend loves at all times.” – Proverbs 17:17a
378. “How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it.” – George Allison
379. “A closed mouth gathers no feet.”
380. “No matter where you are, that’s where you’re at.”
381. “The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.”
382. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”
383. “We occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry on as if nothing happened.”
384. “If you can’t learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.”
385. “To meet an old friend in a distant land is like refreshing rain after a drought.”
386. “Intelligence is like underwear, everyone should have it, but we shouldn’t show it off.”
387. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
388. “The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent’.”
389. “The wonder of a single snowflake outweighs the wisdom of a million meteorologists.”
390. “Think twice before you speak, especially if you intend to say what you think.”
391. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.”
392. “Earn cash in your spare time – blackmail friends.”
393. “Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
394. “Early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.”
395. “Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.”
396. “Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.”
397. “Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.”
398. “The soul would have no rainbow had the eye no tear.”
399. “Don’t ever hang up your goalie gloves.” – Todd Miller
400. “The meaning of happiness is whatever you want it to be.”
401. “Life is what you make of it… kinda like Play-Doh.”
402. “May your life be like toilet paper – long and useful.”
403. “Don’t go away mad, just go away.”
404. “Everyone has a photographic memory, some don’t have film.”
405. “Bald guys never have a bad hair day.”
406. “May the forces of evil become lost and confused on the way to your house.”
407. “I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem.”
408. “I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add to it.”
409. “Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.” – L. Atkinson
410. “Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap. Park elsewhere!”
411. “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon
412. “You can tell the quality of a person by how they treat people they don’t need.”
413. “Love doesn’t just make the world go ‘round, it makes the ride worthwhile.”
414. “The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.”
415. “It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others.”
416. “Scientists say one out of every four people is crazy. Check three friends. If they’re ok, you’re it.”
417. “The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.”
418. “It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.”
419. “It’s hard to stumble when you’re on your knees.”
420. “It’s nice to be important, but more important to be nice.”
421. “The most tragic thing of life is not death, but to live without living.”
422. “Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows.” – Helen Keller
423. “A truly happy person is one you can enjoy the scenery of a detour.”
424. “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”
425. “Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive.”
426. “Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been