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problemā€¦ Not dadā€¦not Toddā€¦.Dawn? I almost dialed Dawns number on the phone, but I stopped. I didnā€™t want Dawn to think I wanted to be her friend because I was scared or didnā€™t have any friendā€™s at the time. Then a new name popped into my mind. I quickly dialed her number and nervously clutched the phone, waiting for a voice. ā€œHello?ā€ Hi, this is Maddie Farrell. I was wondering if Meryl was there.ā€ ā€œSure hold on,ā€ said the grown-up voice. I heard foot steps, than someone yell, ā€œMer! phone!ā€ I heard more footsteps. ā€œHello?ā€ ā€œHi Meryl. Itā€™s Maddie.ā€ ā€œHey! Whatā€™s up?ā€ She said. ā€œI was wondering if we could talk about something.ā€ ā€œIs everything alright? Whatā€™s wrong?ā€ she asked quickly. ā€œWell, I got a note about two months ago in English classā€ā€¦ I started. Before I knew it, I was pouring the whole story out to her, including my dream. The whole time she was silent, allowing me to yell and curse and do anything I needed without her saying,ā€ Whoa Whoa Whoa!ā€ Or Calm down Mad! God!ā€ She was 13 once too, and knew what I was going through. After I was done, (and breathing quite heavily,) she paused then said, ā€œ You have had an interesting year so far, havenā€™t you?ā€ it was such a stupid and random thing to say that I burst out laughing. ā€œYou got that right Honey!ā€ I said. ā€œWell, Maddie let me say just this, cause I have to go to Christmas Eve mass in five seconds, that whoever wrote that note has no idea who they are dealing with. And they are defiantly not a friend of yours.ā€ She said. I sighed. ā€œBut should I go?ā€ ā€œOh, yes!ā€ she exclaimed. ā€œGo! Take a risk! Donā€™t eat your vegetables! Donā€™t flush the toilet!ā€ I giggled. ā€œThanks, Meryl. Have fun praising the lord.ā€

***

ā€œWow! An i-pod!ā€ I exclaimed. ā€œA blue i-pod,ā€ said my mom. ā€œThanks, mommy!ā€ I said. (Yes-Iā€™m not afraid of the whole mommy thing.) I couldnā€™t wait to put new songs on it. I finally had one!!! It was finally Christmas day, about nine thirty in the morning. My family and I were sitting under the pretty Christmas tree, (which took four hours and six curse words to put up,) and I just finished opening up my first present- a brand new blue i-pod. All my friends had i-pods, and I wonā€™t lie. I felt extremely left out.
But now I had an i-pod, and I could sing and dance to my hearts content without my mom screaming ā€œTurn that racket down! Why do you even listen to that garbage?!ā€ I was about to go online to get songs but remembered that it was Christmas and I still had my stocking and more presents to open. I ran back to the tree and opened a small present. It was a bracelet with colorful beads. I never really wore jewelry but this was different. I thought it was beautiful. I put it aside. My dad and mom gave me the i-pod; Todd gave me a new t-shirt that said Go Green on it with a little mouse holding the recycling sign. It was cute! I thanked him, even though I knew my mom bought and wrapped it. My grandma gave me a new sweater she knitted herself, my grandpa gave me a new book called ā€˜Fantastic places to visit,ā€™ because he knew I wanted to be a world traveler. I also got a box of Chocolate, a pillow that looks like a monkey and a new journal with dandelion flowers painted on the front. In my stocking I got more chocolate, fuzzy socks, slippers, and lip gloss that smelled like strawberry, cherry, vanilla, and watermelon. One even smelt like skittles! Meryl even got me something- a pack of scented shampoo and conditioner. They smelt like sugar plums, gingerbread, cookies, and apple. (Yum!) I also got a new pair of jeans, and an i-tunes gift card. Towards the end of the day, I was feeling happy but spoiled. I felt bad too. It wasnā€™t fair that I got all this great stuff but some kids were out in the world starving and not able to afford a small Christmas tree. The vision of the sad tree from the Charlie Brown Christmas special floated into my head. I knew I had to do something. Iā€™ve heard about the organizations like Locks of Love and The Hunger Foundation, but I wanted to do something. I may start small, but with a little help I could help children all over the country! I smiled as I popped a chocolate into my mouth. I had to tell Dawn and Charlotte. I smiled at another thought, too.
Whoever sent me the horrible note probably got hard lumpy coal.

****

I was in my room, feeling very content while brushing my hair. Christmas was only three days before and I was feeling fat with chocolate and pie. I was bored, so I decided to listen to my i-pod. It took all the energy I could muster to sit up and walk the mere two feet to my closet. I opened it with caution, because you never know what could pop out at you. Sure enough, a small blue box fell out of my closet from the top shelf. I stared at it stupidly, wondering if I should bend and pick it up. I sighed and bent down to the floor to pick up my new discovery. I grabbed my i-pod quickly and slammed my closet door shut. (Iā€™m still afraid of seeing mean yellow eyeā€™s stare at me.) I went back to my bed and sat cross-legged staring at the box. It looked familiar but I couldnā€™t remember where I saw it. Then it hit me-Charlotte. Charlotte gave it to me for Christmas a week before she went away to Florida for the holidays. How could I forget about it? She only gave it to me a week and a half ago. The bumble of the holidays must have distracted me. I gently took off the lid of the box with slightly fumbling hands. Inside was a mini nutcracker prince. This gift would normally be of no importance to anyone else, but me being my sappy self, thought it was beautiful. I lightly stoked its long white hair and gingerly touched its red and white cape. I picked it up and held it firmly in my hand. I turned it over and saw the stick that was sticking out of it. When I pushed it in the nutcrackerā€™s mouth it squeezed shut. When I let go the mouth opened. When the mouth opened, a small paper came out. I stared at it dumbfounded, thinking that this moment belongs in a Nancy Drew or Harry Potter book. I picked up the paper and realized I was trembling. I unfolded the paper and tried to smooth out the crease marks. I recognized Charlotteā€™s handwriting instantly. It said:

Dear Maddie,
I really hope you like the Nutcracker doll I gave you for Christmas. I really will miss you while Iā€™m in Florida. I also hope that you find this note. But that isnā€™t what I wanted to write to you about. That big fight we had really scared me. I seriously thought you hated me and didnā€™t want to be my friend. You remember that day on the bus when I was sitting next to Penelope? Well, I told you she pulled me toward her, but that isnā€™t true. You might have already figured that out. The truth is that I sat next to her on purpose. I donā€™t why, but I felt like I should have. Even today, when you and I are friends again, I donā€™t regret what I did. Something told me to sit next to her that day on the bus. The force or something. I still call her sometimes, you know. I do have the right to be friends with who I want. But almost losing you as a friend really cut me up, and if I learned one thing, itā€™s that I donā€™t have to lose one friend to have another. I really am sorry and Merry Christmas. Love, Charlotte.
P.S. My mom sent cookies in the mail. I hope you get them soon.

I reread the paper about a zillion times. I just sat numbly on my bed, staring at it with intense dislike. I didnā€™t know if I was mad or upset or what. I did know one thing: that Charlotte meant it when she said she was sorry. She was right when she said that she could be friends with whom ever she wanted to be friends with. I still felt a little cut up too, by one sentence she wrote. I still call her sometimes, you knowā€¦ I donā€™t know why it bothered me, but it did. She was her own person and I couldnā€™t control who her friends were, but I couldnā€™t stop thinking about it. I put the note back in the small blue box and hid it under my bed. Nobody in their right mind would look under there. I lay down on my bed and stretched lazily. ā€œForget about it,ā€ I mumbled to myself. ā€œJust forget about it.ā€ I stared at the ceiling. A fly was buzzing around my head. I swatted it away. We never got the cookies Charlotteā€™s mom made.
Chapter 5

ā€œThe birds were singing as the snow and icicles melted. The sun was rising over the treetops, reflecting on the crunchy leaves now turning greenā€¦ā€
Oh pleaseā€¦I told myself. Stop lying to yourself and just get on with chilly winter life. The last time we got snow in Boston was, surprisingly, in 2007. We hadnā€™t gotten a real blizzard in two years. It was just way too cold. And all the birds werenā€™t singing. They were the lucky ones snuggled together on tree branches in the south. The leaves were brown and on the ground constantly getting stepped on by passerby. Boston hasnā€™t seen the sun in about a week. I wished I were a dog, or a cat. Iā€™d have enough fur to last a lifetime in Antarctica. ā€œOr you could be Charlotte,ā€ Dawn had said when I confided my deepest wish with her a couple hours after I read the note from Charlotte. ā€œSheā€™s probably diving into a pool right now in Florida.ā€ I pushed the jealousy out of my mind and went to my room to put on another pair of socks.
It was cold. Too cold. It was almost ten degrees below zero, a record. The sky was a slate gray and the trees were all dying. The other day dad was trying to cut down a small tree for firewood, (yes, firewood,) and the inside was full of ice. We should have started school again by now but the heat in the school wasnā€™t working properly. The school board didnā€™t want the kids to get pneumonia
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