Never Throw Boloney - EJ Patterson (book series for 10 year olds txt) 📗

For Hee Hee, who always makes me giggle and supported me till the very end-love ya!

Chapter 1-Sometimes, when you try really hard not to screw up, you end up messing up anyway. I am currently an expert on tripping, dropping, and ruining everything I touch. I don’t mean to, it just happens. “Don’t worry, Maddie” mom would say. “You’re thirteen. You’re at that age where you do everything wrong.”
Thanks, mom.
But lately, I think she’s given up hope on me, too. I mean, just a few seconds ago, I was pouring coffee for her because that’s the kind of nice person I am, and guess what? I dropped the mug, coffee and all. My dog, Sunny, came running in and started licking the coffee off the floor and the side of the table. Then she throws up all over my new boots. Then, after some angry sighs and paper towels, the mess was cleaned up. Finally, thinking I’m so smart for cleaning the mess up so fast without my mom knowing, I turn to get my backpack. I slipped on the now wet floor and banged my elbow on the counter. Of course, my mom hears that and comes running down. She looks at me struggling to get up off the floor and rolls her eyes as if saying, “I got stuck with this disaster?” She helps me up. By now I’m embarrassed and I mumble, “Bye, I’m going to school.”
That is a typical morning at our house.
My day went from bad to worse. On the bus, my best friend Charlotte was sitting in the back with the new girl, Penelope.
Let me tell you this from the very beginning: I hate Penelope Canter, with a capitol H. She has long, dark hair down to her waist. She has a pink streak on the side of her head. Everyone thinks it looks cool, but I think it looks like she got bubblegum in her hair. Old, stale, lumpy bubble gum that she stretched. She also thinks she’s cool because she came from California. “I’ve met Addison Walker” she’d say. “We hung out for, like, three hours.” Everyone thinks she’s a super hero or goddess. Charlotte and I would make fun of her and draw her over a bubbling cauldron.
Then why, WHY was Charlotte sitting with her? As I reluctantly sat down next to Sam, (who has a special spot where he puts his boogers,) I turned my head to look at Charlotte and Penelope. Penelope was flipping her hair and laughing. Charlotte caught my eye and grimaced. I smiled at her. “So this wasn’t her decision.” I thought. I happily turned in my seat. As the bus pulled into the circle in front of my school, I looked behind me again. My heart sank. Charlotte was laughing, really laughing, and Penelope had her arm around her. I quickly turned, trying not to catch her eye this time. I pushed my way off the bus, my eyes stinging.

• * *

First period I had Science, second period I had Tech. Then third period I had English. Charlotte has English with me. I tried to avoid her but when the bell rang she caught up with me. “Hey Maddie! I didn’t get to talk to you on the bus today.” She noticed the look on my face. “Maddie? You okay?” Finally I looked at her. I saw you on the bus today.” I said. “I know. I smiled at you.” she said slowly. So that was a smile, not a grimace, I thought. She thought I’d be happy for her, sitting with the most popular girl in school. I started to grow angry. I thought she hated her with me. We drew those pictures together. Secretly, she wanted to be best friends with Penelope. Well, I thought. I don’t need her. Not one bit. “So, thinking of getting a pink streak in your hair?” I asked sourly. Charlotte stopped walking. “You know, Madeline Rose Farrell, you ignorant selfish jerk, I didn’t choose to sit with Penelope. She saw me sitting alone and pulled me towards her.” Anger was bubbling inside me, the volcano in my heart about to erupt. “Well, Charlotte Elizabeth Butant, you greedy back-stabbing warthog, (cause that’s just how smooth I am,) the next time ol Penny asks you to sit with her, at least have the courtesy to think of your old best friend!” She gaped at me for a minute, muttered “jerk”, and then not saying anything but looking furious. There was nothing more to say, so I ran away.

Chapter 2
The rest of the day trudged on slowly. In Math I was so dazed the teacher had to call on me three times before I returned to the real world. She was not pleased. “Madeline, pay attention or see me after class,” She had said angrily. So I tried to stay awake. Finally, it was 2:45 and I was on the bus on the way home. I was thankfully sitting alone. Well, I was until somebody tall with brown hair and a pink bubblegum blob sat next to me. I tried to ignore her, but when you have a best friend stealer breathing down your neck, it’s hard to ignore. “So… you’re friends with Charlotte.” Penelope said. “Yeah. I saw you with her this morning.” I replied. “She’s really nice,” Penelope said, but it didn’t sound like she meant it. “I know. Only a really giving, sweet person could ever be her friend.” I said. Penelope narrowed her eyes slightly and said, “So you guys must not be as great of friends as I thought.” I raised my eyebrows. “Charlotte also prefers beauty and brains before people like…well… you.” She said. I stared at her. She was smiling sweetly. Disgusting. “So if I’m not her friend, and you’re not her friend, who is?” I said, pretending to look confused. Before she could talk back, however, the bus stopped in front of my house and I quickly walked off the bus.

• * * *

I don’t know how I made it through today. Charlotte is in my English, Gym, Art, and Home ECT classes. Guess what? So is Penelope. I lay in bed this morning thinking about pretending to be sick, but then I remembered that I already missed two gym classes, and if I miss another I’ll get a detention. So here I am, in English, slumping a little in my seat, trying to absorb what Mrs. Fitzpatrick was saying. Just as I was about to ask for a pass to the nurse, (to heck with detention,) a paper wad hit the side of my head. I turned in the direction it came from. Everyone had their heads down, working hard. I picked the note up off the ground and unraveled it. It was typed in different colors. It said:

Madeline Rose Farrell you better watch out. I know all there is to know about you. Meet me in classroom 212 on TUESDAY AFTERNOON, APRIL 24th. You better come, Madeline. And remember. I know all your secrets.
Come alone.


Why does everything happen to me? My breath was coming in short gasps and my heart was beating fast against my chest. I looked behind me again. Two people were staring at me. Penelope and Charlotte. Charlotte was looking at me with hard eyes, and smiling a bit. She also looked….guilty. Penelope was smiling too, only she flipped her hair and snickered. By the time English was over, my head was buzzing with un-answered questions. Who wanted to meet me in classroom 212 on Tuesday? Why in April, such a long time away? How did they know my full name? The only people who know my full name is Charlotte and my family. Unless…. Unless Charlotte told Penelope. Charlotte did look guilty about something….
During gym, Charlotte kept trying to get my attention. She even walked over to be my partner, but Penelope quick grabbed her. So there I stood, alone and humiliated. I was about to go up to Miss Rielly and tell her I don’t have a partner when someone tapped me on my arm. “You want to be partners?” I turned around. A tall girl with long yellow hair was staring at me. “You want to be partners?” She repeated, sounding less hopeful. “Oh! Uhh, sure.” I said. “I’m Madeline,” I said. “But you can call me Maddie.” “I’m Dawn.” She said. We started kicking a soccer ball back and forth between each other. “You new here?” Dawn asked. “No, I just don’t get around much.” I laughed. “You?” She kicked the soccer ball between my legs. I ran to get it. “No. Well, kind of. I came here last year in April, from Florida.” “Florida is so pretty.” I said. She was quiet for a while. “Oh!” I said. I realized that I would have felt sad to hear of my old home if I moved. “But Boston is really cool too.” I said. All kinds of historical things have happened here.” Dawn perked up. “Really?” “I’m really into history.” I looked up. “Really? I love History too!” “Isn’t it hard to believe we’re making history right now?” I said. “I know! And that this exact soccer ball could be part of one of the biggest soccer game in the history of the world?” Dawn said. We talked about history for a while. Then we put the soccer ball away and started basketball. I learned that I have Art, History, Gym, Math and Chorus with her. After gym I have Home ECT, but after that I have History with Dawn. I had so much fun with her, I almost forgot about the note and Charlotte and Penelope.
Almost.

Chapter 3

“Hi Honey! How was school?” My mom dried her hands on her apron. She was making an afternoon snack for me. “Fine,” I said. I wanted to tell her about Charlotte and Penelope and Dawn, but I wasn’t sure how. “Where’s Todd?” I asked. Todd is my brother. He’s 16 and has an old car that smells like cigarette smoke even though Todd doesn’t smoke. The seats are all ripped up and there is a stain in the backseat. It’s awesome, (except for the smoke smell.)
“Todd is at Meryl’s house.” She said. Meryl is Todd’s girlfriend. I love Meryl. We have grown really close over the last few months. I hope her and Todd date for a long time. Once, she helped me with my Math homework, (or did my math homework.) And she gave me a really cool tee-shirt that said, ‘Do the right thing’ with a stick man giving you a thumb’s up. I love that shirt. “Honey, you okay? You seem dazed. Anything on your mind you want to talk about?” My mom said. I snapped back into the real world. “Uh, actually, there is something on my