somewhere on my way - Anna N. Schnieden (epub e ink reader .TXT) 📗

you?” Me, looking at someone…scary.

 

“Don’t you remember him, baby? It’s Dr. Wise I told you about. Hey baby, play nicely…he is also my pain-in-my-ass…boss!” Joshy.

 

“Sure! How do you do sir? Welcome to Thailand Mr. …Doctor Wise. Do I title you correctly…sir?” Me with Joshy’s laughter!

 

He did not answer me, very rudely…bad doctor, I did not care at the moment but,

 

“Aren’t you going to give me a hug?” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“Wow, that is your best…shot? I don’t know you and I don’t hug anyone I don’t know! However, thank you so much for everything you did for my Moony. I’m grateful. She very worshiped you…you know! By the way, your luck is run off since I stand here…just so you know! And, forgive my bitchy, hope the deadhead had warned you…already!” Me.

 

 

 

“She had! And you can call me Wise. Shall we go?” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“Right away…sir! Come on Joshy, move quickly before you get fired…you know!” Me.

 

I took them to their hotel because my house had not finished yet and I was living in a condominium…with one bedroom. Three days later Mr. Moody Be Good came and all of us went to the mountain where we dumped Moonlight’s ashes. On the way back…down, we stopped at a restaurant, which was still on the path of the mountain…for lunch. After we finished lunch, I told the docs to walk around because there were valley and gardens. Mr. Moody Be Good always smoked weed, so every time I wanted to go for happiness, I just had to be with him. I was standing with Mr. Moody Be Good, smoking weed, and enjoying the moment with my leftover best friend,

 

“What the hell do you think, you’re doing?” Mr. Wise, pulling my poor arm.

 

 

“Oh, ahmm…smoking weed! Want some?” Me.

 

 

“Stop it.” Mr. Wise, pulling me away!

 

 

“Hey bossy, you know what genius head. You’re not going to boss me…ok? My fucking everything to me just becomes ashes…under her bloody tree. So, forgive me if I don’t actually give a fuck!” Me.

 

“Give me your car key. Now!” Mr. Wise, with angry…face?

 

 

Key it was, no problem dude! That day, after I sent the two docs back to their hotel, I was at Mr. Moody Be Good’s second home, which is far away from Chiang Mai’s city. We were pretty much drunk ourselves to death and I still did not cry, more laughing, talking about the 3 of us at old times. Next day, I went to be a taxi for the docs. I was not sure what was happening, but the docs were with me 24/7…mann! Made me feel so…healthy! And when I said 24/7, it means 24/7

 

 

because they were in my condo, eating my snacks, using my bathroom, and sleeping on my one queen size bed…with me…in it! Some other time, I was at their hotel deluxe-room, did the same thing…we talked about major opinions such as religion or people in general, however somehow…someway Mr. Wise turned to my bad behaviour…with speeches…I was feeling like…having a daddy!

 

“You do know what is right or wrong. You did it because this is your way of expressional pain. Why are you hurting yourself for something that isn’t your doing?” Mr. Wise. (Weed’s problem!)

 

“I told you before, don’t psychoanalyze me! This is me. Did I warn you? I’m the dark side of the Moony! If I were you, I would have run to another side of this world where…I can’t find you…Da!” Me.

 

He did exactly what I suggested, still 24/7 and…I had learnt that he was having a similar childhood as Moonlight and I except no bottles landed on his head or dick-head at a living room. His mother was a drug addiction…that was why he hated weed! He had been put to an orphan home until he got a scholarship to one of the top universities, graduated as a surgeon …wow that was pretty much…over and overwhelming…whooo sounds scary! He was also…let’s just say…dick and dick sometimes, such as dumped my fish-balls into a garbage can in front of the person who cooked it! Or, ignored everyone around us when we were at restaurants or coffee shops…like this world was only us…a kind of an egotistic super smart dude!

 

The night before the docs flew home, I was with them at the deluxe room, helping Joshy keep his shit,

 

“Aye, can we talk?” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“Ahuh, aren’t you just moving your mouth?” Me.

 

 

“Stop playing word games for a moment. Please.” Mr. Wise.

 

 

 

“Oh, nooo. Are you gonna give me another speech?” Me, Joshy was laughing!

 

 

“I said please. And please means, stops fucking around and listen ok?” Mr. Wise.

 

“Oh! …Ok…sir?” Me.

 

 

“This isn’t a good sign for someone who just lost someone she loves the most. You don’t talk about her. Your actions are out like it doesn’t matter to you. Please, talk to me. I know we just met. But please, understand that I’m here for you. She is gone and nothing I can possibly do for her, but you are alive and that matters.” Mr. Wise, with a very… demanding careful consideration!

 

“O…k! What did she say before…poo…f.” Me.

 

 

“Hmm…she said ‘Don’t you dare, be too sad, and don’t be an idiot. See you on another side.’” Mr. Wise.

 

“How the fuck am I going to do all that by myself?” Me, whispering.

 

 

He pulled me into his hard chest…ouch; I felt an unexpected safety…maybe because he was a doctor! I had never cried so much…so long before…was not actually my thing, but he made me cry! …It was just a moment of a deep sorrow. That was what I told myself…

 

After he went back home, he was checking on me daily, however I did not expect to see him again…and so soon. He was in my just finished home because my bone marrow was on strike. He also refused to use my guest-room and slept on my bed…with me in it…for 2 weeks’ stay! Then it came to the third time of his popping up at my house, and stayed for a whole bloody month (are they supposed to be busy?? The docs!)…which was absolutely no…intimate, consummate, or intercourse some…bedtime story, I was thinking, “Shit! Maybe, I’m pretty much an unattractive, arousing sexual…sense…scent, never mind!

 

 

However, after the second week of my medical treatments, myself was back to…usually crazy.

 

“Ahem! Are you cutting meat or doing an operation?” Me.

 

 

“Shut up, would you? Here, drink!” Mr. Wise, cooking dinner!

 

 

“Ahh, am I going to be ok with your food?” Me.

 

 

“How are you feeling sweetheart? You didn’t sleep long this afternoon.” Mr. Wise.

 

“I’m fine. Not sure about sweetheart though. See, I’m opposite to…the sweet!” Me.

 

And that was…fine until after dinner, I was playing…with my piano, enjoying a moment before I was lifted off from my piano chair into his lap. Oh…

 

“Hmm, did I play that bad? Hmm…this is too…short distance between genders, don’t you think?” Me.

 

“You need to eat more, you feel like a pillow.” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“Really. Eating? Pillow? In this moment?” Me.

 

 

“Ha ha, and you have a nice skin.” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“Aha, is that your best? ‘You have a nice skin!’ Ok, we need to talk and everyone knows what it means when a woman said, ‘We need to talk!’ I need to get off your…ok. I don’t want you to run away when you find out how crazy I am. And…I’m just a fucked up woman; I cannot see, I have that superpower of a combination of beauty, pretty…whatever. Moreover, I’m just a chick’s head…ask everyone. Why the hell do you want to be with me? Did you take the wrong medication today?” Me.

 

 

 

“I know what I’m doing. And you should have seen yourself better. You are a pleasing and appealing woman.” Mr. Wise.

 

“Hmm, are you trying to get to my…! Can I ask some personal and some inflammatory questions?” Me.

 

“Sure.” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“Joshy said you have never had a girlfriend. How come? I’m unhesitatingly believed that chicks will die for you!” Me.

 

“I was once engaged. It didn’t feel right for me, so I left. I’m always busy with work, therefore, girls dumped me after about…couple of months. What else would you like to know?” Mr. Wise, impatient.

 

“Ah, you don’t like questions huh. But you like questioning. This is not fair…bossy! If I were you, I just…get a hooker then…to busy!” Me.

 

“Sweetheart, don’t call them hookers. They deserve respect.” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“Hey, I know…the word hooker is not a substandard scornful abuse!! The word ‘Hooker’ was unknown definition. However, some language study believes that it was an original from ‘Hook’ and later ‘Hook Up’ and ‘Hooker.’ Used for an attractive female companion, on the other means, affectionate or lover!” Me.

 

“Uh, I see. Sorry, I misunderstood you.” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“Did you love your ex? What happened?” Me.

 

 

“I’m not a social being and I could not be, as she wanted. And yes, I loved her.” Mr. Wise.

 

“Sometimes I wonder, where the love goes!” Me.

 

 

 

“There was no point, go through something you know it wasn’t you.” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“So, you walked out…?” Me.

 

 

“It’s late now, and you should be sleeping soon.” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“Oh, really? Damn! Alright then…sleeping it is. By the way, promise me if we aren’t together, as lovers in the future. You won’t dump me, as a friend. I’ve never been dumped before and I don’t really want to know how does it feel, so…please don’t disappear because I love you as a friend and…a man?” Me.

 

“I know sweetheart. I don’t want you to worry. I’m more worried that you might dump me.” Mr. Wise.

 

The day he flew home, I was driving and thinking, sending him to the airport, “Maybe, when he takes his meds, he might realize what he did…and he would go…poof!”

 

“I’m gonna kick you out at the departure door when we arrive at the airport…ok? Parking is always full!” Me.

 

“Heyy, it’s ok to feel sad, but I don’t want you to sit around thinking or worrying…alright?” Mr. Wise.

 

“Ha, oh no…me? I don’t need to sit in order to think…of you. I can think of you and do something else. Don’t worry boss, I’m not that sweet, trust me!” Me.

 

He called 2 or 3 time a day, asking the same questions, it must have had something to do with the OCD problem! He linked my phone… hmm like… “Find my I-bitch” so he could…check where I was…anytime! And when he had to work through the nights, he was watching me…sleeping via the Internet’s communication…that was creepy! It had become my new cycle of…he’s back!

 

 

One night of an abnormal… hmm proposal?

 

 

“I talked to a priest at the church we went to today. He could marry us tomorrow if you want.” Mr. Wise, with a ring!

 

“Ahm…really I thought you are non-believer and, now? No engagement and no knees down? Do you know, you’re still on top of me? Hmm…maybe, skip the knees down, it’s too scary to imagine.” Me.

 

“So? Do you want to marry me, little one?” Mr. Wise.

 

 

“This is not a fair situation, considering where you are and where I am. Don’t you think? O…k, tell me one thing, why the hell do you want to marry me?” Me.

 

“Because we understand each other. I’m not perfect and you see that. And you…are far from perfect! Because we see the world at the same angle. And more importantly, we know how to love a person.” Mr. Wise.

 

“Oh…thanks! That is very reassuring…boss!” Me.

 

 

There I was, on my way to the place…that I miss when I have to be away…Mr. Ok was right,

 

“Remember Aye, home is not a large house or a small house, but a place where is love and when you have to be away, you will always miss it. “

 

Memorial of My Friends and My Loved Ones.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Publication Knowledge

 

Encyclopedia

Social Studies. Wikipedia

Psychology an Introduction. Charles G. Morris

The History of Art. A. N. Hodge

 

Thank you to all my advisors and everyone who had been supporting me with this book.