Real Strange Vibes Volume 10 - Al Calm (red white royal blue txt) 📗

From upstairs stairs we hears some bangin' – maybe our orgy theory right on or someone getting' nailed in another way. We can't wait for this cab to get here. The cab meant to be here, but maybe we got the address wrong. Me eyes are fucked. All of a sudden Bungle gets another call, he mumbles n chuckles, puffs out smoke. Before I finish rollin' anuva zoot, Bungle stopped gassin' – like quickest trippy call ever!

Bungle says, as he hands me a lighter, It's Digby - he's drivin' with some protest dudes I dunno what it is climate anti-capitalist same old, we'll go to it then onto a lockdown warehouse in MK, Digby knows geezer who runs it all. Can't get in if dunno geezer, only way he'll sell a ticket.

Right on, protest then a mental warehouse, I say.

Yeh, Digby wants a lot of beans, more weed. I better call Trollo back about it.

Sure, let's get on it. We'll leave it here, place negs me out. Shall we check if piss kid all OK?

Fuck it they're sleepin' it off – gotta be too much ket!

Bungle, I say, as I pass him a zoot after sparkin' it, take real heavy lug n drain it good, I gotta be honest I can't get worked up hangin' around crusties, goody-two-shoes types. All kinda posh. Digby loves it don't he?

Yeh, I guess. Bungle clocks I drained zoot real good, checks me roach, cheeky fucker! Bungle shrugs n tells me he don't care.

Fair enough, guess it where Digby ponces his pees. He's always funny about dollars!

Bungle laughs, as we can't figure out what scam Digby got on he knows loads of rich connected middle class folks. They all live in big gaffs on leafy roads, near gated roads, private security cars whizz pass.

A car pulls up outside, slammin' of doors, gravel gettin' kicked - sounds like someone's playin' some Teki Latex set. Car got a real decent soundsystem!

Digby runs in laughs at us n says: Zolly, Bungle fuckin' trust yous still be here! C'mon guys, we gotta go! We gotta pick up a few more people first, It's a massive gaff in Northwood.

Sure, we'll go – leave some tunes for kiddo. There's no other fucker here.

Digby cracks up more, then tells us: Didn't see shitty order notice on the fuckin' door? Like a House ASBO, I dunno. Only the fucker who lives here can be in it? No one else! Dibble went past on our way up, lets get fuck outta here before they turn back. It's fuckin' lockdown but ain't stop no fuckin' protests! Did you go black lives matter? Fuckin' mad likkle party in Notting Hill after it, real good vibes!

Bungle looks fucked, staggers out. I can't remember it got so light, fuckin' day time already. I ask Digby: what time you gotta protest?

Digby shrugs n says, Protest time always a sharp shock, there's always a fuckin' protest in lockdown, Zolly! Digby laughs, tiny phlegm-balls hang in corners of his mouth; he probably ain't kipped in days, all on two sips of water – probably burns when he pees.

Bungle passes Digby the zoot which he drains in one toke, then stamps it out on the ground. We leave the anti-house party – begone downer vibes, it like the grime room at some youth club, really gets y' down when wanna get up up up!

Man, totally unreal car - it only a beat up Datsun Cherry. No wonder Plod wanted to see where it goin', a fuckin' antique! Real odd, eco-warriors all jammed in a battered Cherry, unreal. Car's probably older than us all!

Digby laughs, as we all squeeze in. Proper tight. See a dude behind the wheel with tiny glasses, really long greasy hair. The dude looks well young, still got acne.

Oh yeh, Digby goes to us, Cody's on the wheel – Kherri and Clara here too!

Bungle smirks as he gets squeezes in. The girls moan, in a flirty kinda way, as Bungle Bob's a fat giant.

It cool, I'll sit I in the well bit I tell them as I squeeze in. Don't tap any ash on me, I joke, they giggle at.

Clara tuts but Kherri laughs. They both look familiar, I reckon maybe Epidemik, Telepathy or Tasco's warehouse reunion at Autumn Street – what a mental rave, easily maddest raves what always goes under radar, strictly underground, gotta be real headstrong!

As we all squeezed in Cody starts the engine.

Digby starts gassin' as Bungle starts to roll another zoot, I take out a old Oyster card and rack up lines of bash, it cheap coke, probably some DMAA cut coke.

I snort, Clara and Kherri snort off me card too, so does Bungle as he rolls up. I hand me card to Digby who spills a bit before snortin'; Cody don't want any.

Cody's a vegan by the way, he gets ethical about all gear, mumbles Digby as he turns up the Teki Latex set, it a bootleg recording. Cody giggles, lights a roll up fag.

Vegans do gear though, don't they? I ask.

Drug waste a real problem, Cody tells me.

If it legal, can generate energy or reuse waste. There's loads of legal methamphetamine but it don't add to climate change.

Yeh, I didn't think of it like that, mumbles Cody as he takes a small puff on his roll up. Smells like fuckin' wormwood.

Already hear Clara n Kherri cacklin' n laughin'.

Shit, fuckin' SHIT! Kherri bellows, it don't need to be shouted. See how many beans 'e got on 'im, 'E GOT LOTSA E's!

A oz of skunk too, I say. It's why we been cabbin' all over.

Digby licks his lips, smirks. Drugs only thing what motivate this acad-waster. He always wait on some bullshit grant but he always spend his cash on drugs, all day ever fuckin' day! I know Digby, he knows me, we're all on a same chemical wavelength.

Digby turns to Bungle n says: Dude, Bungle Bro, I'll transfer you money fer two hundred sweeties now. Northwood, it's a big house n they'll love 'em!

Cool, all cool. Is it a party in Northwood? Bungle asks Digby, he got some drool that hangs down from his mouth.

More of gatherin', Digby says to Bungle. Digby rambles on to Bungle, Bungle's eyes roll, he's fucked: Cheers Bob, nice of you to let me test one out, reckon those sweets more MDA than MDMA but it better than all synthetic fuckin' 4CMC comin' in, even PMMA back, it's all too much. Or too little, cut it low make them weak gotta drop loads then it K.O. time. Though we can't stay long in Northwood, protests n all, it'll be one of those swift jiffies. In n out, it all about neighbours measure the decibel level and they already got done coverin' massive garden in tarps n marquees to hide from Police chopper cams. They got heat sensors so they always clock in, gotta get lead I think to mess 'em up.

Bungle grunts as Kherri n Clara whisper shit. I clock Clara get out a pack of dried chilli powder n do a line. Fuckin' weird.

Kherri laughs as Clara shakes her head n screams; Cody laughs but looks ahead as a unmarked Dibble mobile cruises past.

Lucky I got mud all over me licence plate, I always do, Cody tells me. It's me old man's, on his insurance!

Oh right, well lucky I guess, I can only mumble, Y'ol' man's a diamond if he lets on his insurance. They ain't cheap – not like I bust all of it though, sounds a real hassle!

It is mate, says Cody. It's too pricey, they want all kids to be drivin' tractors!

I crack up at it but he looks real serious. Whatta fuckin' joker! I can't wait to see Cody trippin'! I start to roll a spicey zoot, mixed in a lot of weed, as it pretty cheap n pretty weak – gotta put loads in. It the synthetic what gives it a kick n make you really trip.

Kherri n Bungle whisperin' to each other, clock Clara still snorts a bit more chilli powder.

Got any more bash, babe? Clara asks me.

Nah, I say, all secret smile face. Fuckin' cheeky I think but many like, even protest bandwagon jumpers want a extra toot!

Digby n Bungle do a deal. Bungle wants to know about Digby's research chemicals, he sick of DMAA though 4CMC real dangerous, it so strong if pure. I feel real fucked but I still try to work out how many beans Bungle got left but I only got a few beans left me self, I don't need many – I ain't spendin' like Digby, he's probably sortin' out a shitload of randoms in Northwood, too; we don't wanna know how much he knocks em on some folk, only buy off people they trust which I dig but I'll do anythin' n everythin',it really don't fuckin' bother me!

Cody finally finishes his smoke pulls out a massive pack of disposable face masks.

Gonna need these at protests, Cody tells us, then hands 'em out.

Bungle Bob laughs, digs out some manky face cover what blatantly a kiddie one, puts it on, says through it: Sorted man, fuck cheapo ones off a factory line.

Mate every piece o' shit off a factory line, Digby chips in, laughs like a loon.

Digby bang on though – toxic environment special. Everythin' tainted polluted, even by accident. Sometimes some gear can have too much, it really fucks people up. Other times it too little, need to shitloads!

Bungle's gettin' frisky with Kherri. His missus won't be happy but bungle doesn't really give a sht no more. Not since he lost his job - his piss poor but piss easy non-job - he not been same. He don't give a shit about shit. He told me it'd been what he'd always done since school. He can't be fucked to stack shelves for peanuts, it not worth hassle as it never pays bills anyway – no way as Tories in, it a real fuckin' con! But way it goes all political fuckers same liars; buncha cunts, through n through.

Kherri has already got Bungle's chunky cock out, gives him a good strong hand but Bungle's got her on his lap in no time. She's gaggin', she can't believe it. Reckon he'll crush his beans as Bungle bangs Kherri from behind. Cody looks in his mirror, shakes his head. Puts on his cheapo facemask. I put one on too. Gonna get cum on me sat down here – fancy bangin' her in a clapped out Datsun! No way can it be a diamond omen for a relationship.

Cody then pulls up. We all can't wait to get out as the smell of pussy juice n cum fills the Datsun. It gonna be a real odd ride back. Digby cracks up, laughin' n laughin' like some trippy game show host as Clara starts retchin'.

It makin' me burp up me chilli n me dinger – fuckin' real rough. You'd think they'd wait till we left the fuckin' car!Clara screams.

It real odd, as we gotta walk to the meet point of the protest but we wait while Bungle Bob and Kherri straighten up. Kherri puts on more lip gloss and smooths her hair while Bungle's tryin' to get cum outta his trackies. He shot a massive spooge load up her n it farted back out. Angles, always angles - right?

Bungle smiles. Him and Kherri seem real close now, but Clara gives us all evils. Cody jokes over how he parked the Datsun, Digby reckons he not done bad even if he all wonky. It cool. Digby had blasted the Better than a BJ mix off the woofers, must've got locals moaning – surprised he like it, he don't care; fucker always carries shit loads of gear n never gets para. I hardly got shit on me n still para!

Digby says, We've gotta find the protest.

After walkin' about half a hour we find loads of people sittin' down. We're late; we missed all the dull talks, all the shouts, tin drums, slow walks.