Quo Vadis - Henryk Sienkiewicz (best ereader under 100 .txt) 📗

“whoever thy God is, I honor Him only because He is

thine.”

 

“Thou wilt honor Him in thy heart when thou lovest Him.”

 

“Only because He is thine,” repeated Vinicius, in a fainter voice; and

he closed his eyes, for weakness had mastered him again.

 

Lygia went out, but returned after a time, and bent over him to learn if

he were sleeping. Vinicius, feeling that she was near, opened his eyes

and smiled. She placed her hand over them lightly, as if to incline him

to slumber. A great sweetness seized him then; but soon he felt more

grievously ill than before, and was very ill in reality. Night had

come, and with it a more violent fever. He could not sleep, and

followed Lygia with his eyes wherever she went.

 

At times he fell into a kind of doze, in which he saw and heard

everything which happened around him, but in which reality was mingled

with feverish dreams. It seemed to him that in some old, deserted

cemetery stood a temple, in the form of a tower, in which Lygia was

priestess. He did not take his eyes from her, but saw her on the summit

of the tower, with a lute in her hands, all in the light, like those

priestesses who in the night-time sing hymns in honor of the moon, and

whom he had seen in the Orient. He himself was climbing up winding

steps, with great effort, to bear her away with him. Behind was

creeping up Chilo, with teeth chattering from terror, and repeating, “Do

not do that, lord; she is a priestess, for whom He will take vengeance.”

Vinicius did not know who that He was, but he understood that he himself

was going to commit some sacrilege, and he felt a boundless fear also.

But when he went to the balustrade surrounding the summit of the tower,

the Apostle with his silvery beard stood at Lygia’s side on a sudden,

and said:

 

“Do not raise a hand; she belongs to me.” Then he moved forward with

her, on a path formed by rays from the moon, as if on a path made to

heaven. He stretched his hands toward them, and begged both to take him

into their company.

 

Here he woke, became conscious, and looked before him. The lamp on the

tall staff shone more dimly, but still cast a light sufficiently clear.

All were sitting in front of the fire warming themselves, for the night

was chilly, and the chamber rather cold. Vinicius saw the breath coming

as steam from their lips. In the midst of them sat the Apostle; at his

knees, on a low footstool, was Lygia; farther on, Glaucus, Crispus,

Miriam, and at the edge, on one side Ursus, on the other Miriam’s son

Nazarius, a youth with a handsome face, and long, dark hair reaching

down to his shoulders.

 

Lygia listened with eyes raised to the Apostle, and every head was

turned toward him, while he told something in an undertone. Vinicius

gazed at Peter with a certain superstitious awe, hardly inferior to that

terror which he felt during the fever dream. The thought passed through

his mind that that dream had touched truth; that the gray-haired man

there, freshly come from distant shores, would take Lygia from him

really, and take her somewhere away by unknown paths. He felt sure also

that the old man was speaking of him, perhaps telling how to separate

him from Lygia, for it seemed to him impossible that any one could speak

of aught else. Hence, collecting all his presence of mind, he listened

to Peter’s words.

 

But he was mistaken altogether, for the Apostle was speaking of Christ

again.

 

“They live only through that name,” thought Vinicius.

 

The old man was describing the seizure of Christ. “A company came, and

servants of the priest to seize Him. When the Saviour asked whom they

were seeking, they answered, ‘Jesus of Nazareth.’ But when He said to

them, ‘I am He,’ they fell on the ground, and dared not raise a hand on

Him. Only after the second inquiry did they seize Him.”

 

Here the Apostle stopped, stretched his hands toward the fire and

continued:—“The night was cold, like this one, but the heart in me was

seething; so, drawing a sword to defend Him, I cut an ear from the

servant of the high-priest. I would have defended Him more than my own

life had He not said to me, ‘Put thy sword into the sheath: the cup

which my Father has given me, shall I not drink it?’ Then they seized

and bound Him.”

 

When he had spoken thus far, Peter placed his palm on his forehead, and

was silent, wishing before he went further to stop the crowd of his

recollections. But Ursus, unable to restrain himself, sprang to his

feet, trimmed the light on the staff till the sparks scattered in golden

rain and the flame shot up with more vigor. Then he sat down, and

exclaimed:

 

“No matter what happened. I—”

 

He stopped suddenly, for Lygia had put her finger to her lips. But he

breathed loudly, and it was clear that a storm was in his soul; and

though he was ready at all times to kiss the feet of the Apostle, that

act was one he could not accept; if some one in his presence had raised

hands on the Redeemer, if he had been with Him on that night—Oi!

splinters would have shot from the soldiers, the servants of the priest,

and the officials. Tears came to his eyes at the very thought of this,

and because of his sorrow and mental struggle; for on the one hand he

thought that he would not only have defended the Redeemer, but would

have called Lygians to his aid,—splendid fellows,—and on the other, if

he had acted thus he would have disobeyed the Redeemer, and hindered the

salvation of man. For this reason he could not keep back his tears.

 

After a while Peter took his palm from his forehead, and resumed the

narrative. But Vinicius was overpowered by a new feverish, waking

dream. What he heard now was in his mind mixed up with what the Apostle

had told the night previous in Ostrianum, of that day in which Christ

appeared on the shore of the sea of Tiberius. He saw a sheet of water

broadly spread out; on it the boat of a fisherman, and in the boat Peter

and Lygia. He himself was moving with all his might after that boat,

but pain in his broken arm prevented him from reaching it. The wind

hurled waves in his eyes, he began to sink, and called with entreating

voice for rescue. Lygia knelt down then before the Apostle, who turned

his boat, and reached an oar, which Vinicius seized: with their

assistance he entered the boat and fell on the bottom of it.

 

It seemed to him, then, that he stood up, and saw a multitude of people

sailing after them. Waves covered their heads with foam; in the whirl

only the hands of a few could be seen; but Peter saved the drowning time

after time, and gathered them into his boat, which grew larger, as if by

a miracle. Soon crowds filled it, as numerous as those which were

collected in Ostrianum, and then still greater crowds. Vinicius

wondered how they could find place there, and he was afraid that they

would sink to the bottom. But Lygia pacified him by showing him a light

on the distant shore toward which they were sailing. These dream

pictures of Vinicius were blended again with descriptions which he had

heard in Ostrianum, from the lips of the Apostle, as to how Christ had

appeared on the lake once. So that he saw now in that light on the

shore a certain form toward which Peter was steering, and as he

approached it the weather grew calmer, the water grew smoother, the

light became greater. The crowd began to sing sweet hymns; the air was

filled with the odor of nard; the play of water formed a rainbow, as if

from the bottom of the lake lilies and roses were looking, and at last

the boat struck its breast safely against the sand. Lygia took his hand

then, and said, “Come, I will lead thee!” and she led him to the light.

 

Vinicius woke again; but his dreaming ceased slowly, and he did not

recover at once the sense of reality. It seemed for a time to him that

he was still on the lake, and surrounded by crowds, among which, not

knowing the reason himself, he began to look for Petronius, and was

astonished not to find him. The bright light from the chimney, at which

there was no one at that time, brought him completely to his senses.

Olive sticks were burning slowly under the rosy ashes; but the splinters

of pine, which evidently had been put there some moments before, shot up

a bright flame, and in the light of this, Vinicius saw Lygia, sitting

not far from his bedside.

 

The sight of her touched him to the depth of his soul. He remembered

that she had spent the night before in Ostrianum, and had busied herself

the whole day in nursing him, and now when all had gone to rest, she was

the only one watching. It was easy to divine that she must be wearied,

for while sitting motionless her eyes were closed. Vinicius knew not

whether she was sleeping or sunk in thought. He looked at her profile,

at her drooping lashes, at her hands lying on her knees; and in his

pagan head the idea began to hatch with difficulty that at the side of

naked beauty, confident, and proud of Greek and Roman symmetry, there is

another in the world, new, immensely pure, in which a soul has its

dwelling.

 

He could not bring himself so far as to call it Christian, but, thinking

of Lygia, he could not separate her from the religion which she

confessed. He understood, even, that if all the others had gone to

rest, and she alone were watching, she whom he had injured, it was

because her religion commanded her to watch. But that thought, which

filled him with wonder for the religion, was disagreeable to him. He

would rather that Lygia acted thus out of love for him, his face, his

eyes, his statuesque form,—in a word for reasons because of which more

than once snow-white Grecian and Roman arms had been wound around his

neck.

 

Still he felt all at once, that, were she like other women, something

would be lacking in her. He was amazed, and knew not what was happening

in him; for he saw that new feelings of some kind were rising in him,

new likings, strange to the world in which he had lived hitherto.

 

She opened her eyes then, and, seeing that Vinicius was gazing at her,

she approached him and said,—“I am with thee.”

 

“I saw thy soul in a dream,” replied he.