Indiscretions part 2 - By: zzmbrashear (audio ebook reader .TXT) 📗

do that? Meagan and I only knew each other for a couple years but it feels like I’ve loved her for a thousand years and I would love her for a thousand more. This isn’t what was suppose to have happened. This isn’t right.
I stood up in the middle of his talking and walked out. I was outraged. He has no right to take my baby girl. She was mine.
I walked down the stairs and stopped as I laid my head on the cement wall. I lifted my hand and punched it.
“Ahh!” I screamed. I couldn’t stand this anymore. I can’t take this. This isn’t right. This isn’t right! Michael came running out of the building.
“Shawn! What are you doing?” He asked. I breathed heavy, holding in the pain of my open wound on my hand. “Shawn! Answer me!” He demanded.
“This isn’t right.” I murmured in anger.
“What isn’t right?” He asked.
“She was mine! We went through so much, and then... Nothing! She’s gone! How dare he!” I shouted at the heavens. “I hate God! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! Its all his fault! Give her back! Give her back to me!” I shouted. I slid my hand into my pocket and looked for my switch blade. “If she wont come to me then I will go to her.” I murmured as I opened the blade.
“Woah, woah, Shawn. Calm down.” Michael said cautiously. I raised the knife to my neck. Michael slowly approached me. “Now, son, think about this.” He told me. “What about Meagan Jr? She’s already lost a mother, does she have to lose her Father too? Don’t do this. Think about your daughter.” I stopped and dropped to my knee’s. I saw Meagan’s little face. Her little nose and her eyes. They look exactly like her Mothers. She looks exactly like her Mother. “Shawn, give me the knife.” Michael said as he slowly got closer. He was just a foot away now. He reached out for the knife and I let him take it. He hugged me.
“Shawn!” Stephan shouted from the street. I looked up. “Meagan needs you!” He shouted and then motion us to get in his car. Michael and I both sprinted to his car.
“What do you mean?” Michael asked.
“The doctor told me to come and get you.” He answered. Although the hospital was only five minutes away, it was one of the longest five minutes I’ve ever had to endure.
I ran inside and burst through the door. The doctor was talking to a nurse when I approached him.
“Mr. March” He nodded.
“Where is she? Is she okay?” I asked all at once.
“Mr. March, please calm down.” He chuckled but how could he be laughing at a moment like this? “She’s fine and you can take her home right away.” He smiled. I hugged him.
“Thank you.” I sighed relieved.
“Now, she may still have a fever once in a while and if it gets higher than this amount, then bring her back.” He said while showing me a graph on his clip board.
“Where is she?” I asked.
“Right in here.” He said as I followed him. I walked in and she started to kick her feet and swing her arms. A smile instantly appeared on my face as her tongue escaped from her mouth. I rushed over to her side and touched her little fingers. They wrapped around my thumb.
“Hey, beautiful.” I smiled as she flashed me a smile. “When can I take her home?” I asked the doctor.
“Pulmonary Tuberculosis is very dangerous. Although the medication has start working there may still be complications further down the road.” He explained.
“What kind of complications?” I asked.
“Asthma, she may need a breathing machine to use four times a day, she may need to use an inhaler, and there are many many more.” He explained.
“Is there anyway I can prevent any of those?” I begged.
“No, do you smoke?” He asked.
“No.” I said while shaking my head.
“Maybe you should try keeping her inside your house, away from smoke or cold air and anything that can affect breathing.” He suggested.
“Do you think it will help?” I asked.
“I don’t know but I know it wouldn’t hurt trying.” He answered.
“Thank you.” I shook his hand. He turned around and headed out of the room. “Can you ask the people waiting for me to come in?”
“Of course.” He nodded. I looked down at Meagan. He skin was so soft.
“Don’t worry baby girl. I promise I will never let anything else hurt you ever again. We will make it. I promise. I promise.” I repeated. I picked her up and held her close to me and then, I began to sing. “She’s beautiful, in her simple little way. She doesn’t have too much to say when she gets mad. She understands. She don’t let go or anything, even when the pain gets really bad. I guess I should have been more like that. She had it all. For a pretty little while. Somehow she made me smile when I was sad. She took a chance. On a bruised and beaten heart and then you realized you wanted what you had. I guess I should have been more like that. I should have held onto to her. I should have never let her go. I guess I got what I deserved, I guess I should have been more like her. For given her, she’s stronger than I am. Its plain to see desperations sure takes truth. I loved you and you loved me with all you had. I should have been more like that. I should have held onto her. I should have never let her go. I guess I got what I deserved, I guess I should have been more like her. She’s beautiful in her simple little ways.” I finished singing. Her little eyes shut as she fell asleep. I looked up to see Michael in the door way. I couldn’t wipe my silent tears because my hands were wrapped around Meagan.
“That was beautiful.” Michael said. I looked down at Meagan’s sleeping face. “Meagan would be proud of you.”
“I don’t deserve it.” I shook my head.
“Now why would you think that, son?” He asked as he pulled out a chair for me to sit in.
“Because if it wasn’t for me, she would still be here.” I hung my head. “If I only just left her alone, then she would still be here. How can you sit there and call me son when I took your daughter away? You should hate me.”
“You never took her away.” Michael shook his head as I looked up. “The days she spent with you were the best of her whole life. She told me, multiple times. Shawn, she loves you more than you can ever know.”
“At the church, I saw Meagan.” I confessed.
“What?” He asked.
“When I passed out. I don’t know where I went but I saw Meagan.” I answered.
“Are you sure you weren’t just dreaming?” He asked.
“I felt her. It was her. I was there.” I paused. “Out of everything she told me, one thing doesn’t add up.”
“What doesn’t add up?” He asked.
“I told her I didn’t think I could raise Meagan Jr. and she said don’t worry its written. What does that mean?” I asked him. He thought for a second.
“I don’t know.” He finally said.
“That makes two of us.” I said. I looked down as Meagan began to fuss.
“She’s probably hungry.” Michael said while standing up and grabbing a bottle. He handed it to me and I fed it to her. Michael put her diaper bag over his shoulder as he helped me up. We walked to the car. I gently sat Meagan in her car seat and buckled her in. I sat next to her, holding the bottle.
“Where do you want to go?” Michael asked.
“My house.” I answered.
“Okay.” He smiled as he put the car in gear.
When I got to my house and walked in, the door was unlocked. I haven’t been home in days. I didn’t see how it could be unlocked.
“Hello?” Michael asked as he entered first.
“Shawn?” A woman’s voice asked. I recognized that voice.
“Sam?” I asked as I walked ahead of Michael. I set down Meagan as I hugged her.
“I’m so sorry.” She hugged me tighter.
“You didn’t know.” I kissed her forehead. Tears were falling from both our cheeks. We chuckled as we looked at each other.
“Ahem!” Michael grunted.
“Oh, Michael, this is Sam. Michael is my step father and Sam is my sister.” I smiled.
“Nice to meet you.” Michael shook her hand.
“You too.” Sam smiled. Michael picked up Meagan and her things and took her and them to her room.
“I’ve miss you.” I said.
“Shawn, I’m so so so sorry.” She hung her head. “I know I’ve only met her a few times but I knew you two were in love. I knew how much she meant to you and I was nothing but rude. She didn’t deserve that.” Sam shook her head. Michael walked out of the room and patted me on the back.
“Stephan and Taylor will be over tomorrow to check on you and her.” Michael said as he left the room. I heard Meagan start to fuss again. I walked into her room and picked her up.
“Sh,” I said as I bounced her gently.
“Is this Meagan?” Sam asked. I nodded. “She’s beautiful.”
“Do you want to hold her?” I asked. She looked at me with wide eyes as I put Meagan in her arms.
“She’s precious.” She said as she swayed back and forth.
“I know.” I smiled. “She’s exactly like her Mother.” A warmth inside me arose. I could feel Meagan’s presence. She was here with me, with us. She’s watching over me. I looked up and smiled.
“You’re going to be okay.” Sam smiled at me.
“So I’ve been told.” I chuckled. She lifted one hand and brushed my hair.
“I’m proud of you.” She smiled. “You’ve really grown up. I don’t think you would ever have if you didn’t meet Meagan. She was truly a life changer for you.”
“Yes, she was.” I agreed.
“What are you going to do now?” She asked. I sat down in the corner chair and thought for a second.
“I don’t know. I haven’t really give much thought to it. One thing that crossed my mind a few times was moving. Just getting as far away as possible. Maybe South Carolina. I don’t know.” I shook my head. She set Meagan down and walked over to me.
“Don’t run away.” She begged.
“Its not running away.” I argued.
“Just don’t go.” She begged.
“Why? Whats here for me?” I asked.
“You have family here. Michael? Stephan? Taylor?” She paused. “Me?” She said in a whisper.
“Sam, I love you and you know that. You’re my sister and nothing can separate us but I have to move on. I have to get away from the memories. From everything that reminds me of her. I can’t,” I paused as I pictured her face. “I just can’t.”
“What memories? What reminds you so much of her?” Sam asked. “Besides the baby.” I walked out of the babies room and went towards the living room.
“The couch is where we first made love. That blanket was used to cover our bodies. That window is what we looked out of every time it rained. That table is where she would bring her homework to and where I would help her. My bedroom is where I