Indiscretions part 2 - By: zzmbrashear (audio ebook reader .TXT) 📗

Indiscretions (Part 2)
By: Morgan a.k.a zzmbrashear


Blurb: This is the second book to the Indiscretions series. In the first book Meagan meets Shawn. Meagan was just a seventeen year old girl with her whole life in head of her. Shawn was a twenty four year old man who had no idea what was coming his way. At first they aren’t sure of their love but they soon learn to love it more than anything. After a long battle of so many people trying to keep them apart, they try with everything they have to stay together because they know there love is strong enough. A while back Meagan was in a car accident. She was lead to believe that she was okay after she recovered but their was something lingering that no one, not even the doctors, saw. After figuring out she has heart failure, she has to get a transplant. Although Shawn is more than willing to give his own to save her, its not an option. Not long after being stuck in the hospital, Meagan finds out she is pregnant. Doctors suggest abortion but thats nothing she would think of, not even if her life depends on it. She has the baby and she comes out as a beautiful girl. They name her Meagan Lynn March Jr. because a beautiful girl should have a beautiful name just like her mothers. Meagan knew that she wouldn’t survive the birth. She knew it but she knew if she had this baby, that she would live on. She dies on the table and reunites with her Mother and Father in heaven. She may not be there but she is always watching.
This is the second book. This book is from Shawn’s perspective. In this book he finds out how hard it is to be a single parent. He goes through so many challenges and Meagan’s brother, Stephan and step father, Michael, are there with him. Shawn’s life alters. He tries to deal with the cards he was dealt but he can only be so close to breaking and still hold on. How close does he get? What happens to Meagan Jr.? Do they make it?


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Indiscretions Part 2
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I stood outside the window as the tears still, rolled down my cheeks. My hands placed firmly against the glass. My heavy breathing fogged the area in front of my face. I looked out at Meagan. Her little blue eyes were closed as she kicked her little pink feet.
“I’m going to do her right. I won’t let you down.” I muttered to himself. I felt a hand on my back. I turned around abruptly, praying it would be Meagan. That this would all be just a bad dream. Instead, it was Sam.
“Sam,” I cried as I laid my head on her shoulder.
“Sh, I’m here.” She hugged me.
“She’s gone.” I said as I lifted my head. She wiped my tears and fixed my shirt.
“I know.” She nodded.
“I, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I stuttered. My head felt like it was going to explode.
“Which one is she?” She asked as she walked towards the glass. I walked up beside her and looked at Meagan.
“There.” I pointed as a smile came onto my face.
“She’s beautiful.” She said as she put her arm around me. I nodded in agreement.
“Do you want to hold her?” I asked. She nodded. I got a nurse and she got her out for me. She handed her to me and I handed her to Sam. She made little fist with her hands as she waved them around.
“Hi, I’m your Auntie.” She smiled.
“She’s perfect.” I smiled.
“Yes, she is.” She agreed. I looked down the empty hallway as Stephan, Taylor, and Michael walked down it to meet me. They had just come back from saying goodbye. It was my turn now but I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I can’t say goodbye. I can’t. That would mean that this is all real. That would mean that she’s really gone. She can’t be gone. We’ve been through so much. She can’t be gone. It can’t be for nothing.
I stood up as Michael opened his arms. His eyes were blood shot, just like mine. We didn’t say anything, if we did then tears would fall and everyone knows men don’t cry. Stephan walked over to me and hugged me too.
“Where is she?” Michael asked. I pointed to Sam. He walked over and sat next to her. Taylor and Stephan walked closer to me.
“You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to.” Taylor reminded me.
“I have to. Its the only way I will believe that this is real.” I hung my head so they couldn’t see me crying.
“Mr. March,” A nurse motioned me.
“I’ll see you in a bit.” I waved goodbye. I followed the nurse into Meagan’s room. She nodded as she closed the curtain so we could be alone. I looked down at her. She was covered by a sheet from her neck down. Her lips were blue. Her cheeks, pale. I bit my lip as I made my way over to her. My hands were shaking as I gripped the arm of the chair.
“Meagan,” I stuttered as I graced her cheek. Her skin was cold as ice. I shivered as I got goosebumps throughout my body. “How could you leave me?” Tears filled my eyes. “I, I thought our love was strong enough.” I said while I grabbed her hand. It was stiff and cold just like the rest of her body. I gripped it as I tried so hard to hold in the tears. “I miss you. I, I know you can’t hear me. I know this but inside me, I’m just pretending you do. I don’t know if you saw Meagan but she’s beautiful. You did so good. It breaks my heart that she wont be here to get to know and love you like I did. She’s going to miss her Mommy.” I chuckled as I thought about how identical they look. “She looks just like you, babe. She’s beautiful, just like you. She’s got your nose. She’s got your beautiful eyes.” I paused for a second. “I, I want you to know that I’m going to raise our baby. She’s going to know who her Mother is. Hun, I love you more than anyone could even imagine. I would walk through fire for you. I had a plan. To grow old and have a big family, with you. You were my life. You are my love. My only love. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through. I don’t know but I’m going to try. For you, I’ll do anything.” I gulped as I looked at her eyes closed. Her beauty, even like this, is mesmerizing. “I’m going to raise her like you would. I’m going to love her enough for both of us. Don’t worry about me. Don’t worry about us down here, ‘cause we’re going to be just fine. I love you, darling.” I said as I gently kissed her lips. They were ice cold on mine. I close my eyes as I realized this is the last time I’m going to touch her. To hold her hand or kiss her lips. Another tear escaped from my eye. I stood up and looked down at her. The nurse came in and grabbed my arm. She walked me out.
“I’m so sorry, honey.” She shook her head as she closed the door. She walked down to another room.
I took Meagan home that day. My room was changed into her room. I moved to the couch. There wasn’t anywhere that didn’t remind me of Meagan.
I spent most of the time in the nursery. I sat in my rocking chair with Meagan Jr. in my arms. I rocked her back and forth and held her tightly. She’s all I have left of Meagan. Everything is gone. Besides her, our love has nothing to show for. Everything we’ve worked for, is gone and the most important thing in my life went with it.
“How is she?” Sam asked as she stood in the doorway.
“Sh,” I warned her that she was sleeping.
“She’s precious.” Sam said while kissing her cheek. I nodded as I looked down at her. “I brought you some more formula.” Sam said from the kitchen.
“Thank you.” I whispered. She walked back into the nursery.
“Aren’t you going to lay her down?” She asked. I shook my head. “Shawn, I know you don’t want to let go of her. I know you feel like she’s all you have left. I know this. I know you’ve been through a lot but you have to set her down.” Sam shook her head. I stood up and laid Meagan down in her crib.
“No!” I shouted at Sam as I walked closer to her. “You don’t know what its like! You don’t know what its like to have the love of your life just ripped away!” I broke down.
“What about Lucas! Doesn’t he count?” Sam had tears in her eyes.
“Its not the same.” I shook my head.
“You’re right. Its not the same. Its worse. To have a child, taken away from you. Imagine having Meagan taken away from you. Imagine having to watch her slowly and painfully die. Just picture it for a second.” She paused. “Its easier to imagine it than live through it.” She said and grabbed her jacket. The door slammed as she left the room. Meagan stirred in her crib and woke up from the sound. I fell to my knee’s and hid my face as she burst out in tears.
“How dare you leave me!” I shouted. I was furious at Meagan. Everything we had. She gave it up. Without even thinking. She didn’t think. She didn’t think about how I was going to do this. How a single Father was going to be. How a child is going to feel without a Mother. Without a female idol to look up to. “I miss you! How dare you leave me! How dare you leave us.” I shook my head as I began to cry.
I walked to the kitchen and fixed Meagan a bottle. I tested it on my wrist as I shook it. I set it down and walked to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror. What was a scruffy look, now turned into a beard. Or what was starting to become one. My eyes were blood shot and puffy. I haven’t slept in days. Not because of the baby, because of the thought of losing Meagan. It soon became a nightmare. A nightmare I prayed I wouldn’t have to live. I needed to get out. When I look at Meagan Jr. , all I see is Meagan.
I put Meagan into her car seat and set her bottle beside her. I walked over to her dresser. I packed her a few changes of clothes. I put her little pink blanket in it and her brown stuffed monkey. I threw a container of baby formula and a couple of bottles and diapers in the bag too. I was about to leave just as the phone began to ring.
“Hello?” I asked a little irritated.
“Yo! Man, I’m heading to the bar. Lets get some!” I heard Josh say. I shook my