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he did that would mean a gate worse than death for me.
“He doesn’t seem to be your slave or servant, so you may leave.” This Gen said.
“But-” the monks said, arguing.
“I said he is not yours! Now leave!” he yelled at them.
Dejected the monks turned away and cursed walking back towards the temple.
I sobbed into his chest as he sat on the ground with me in his arms.
“Well is it a girl or not?” he asked, and I felt his face close to mine.
“No, it just appears to be a very pretty young man.”
“A pity. So Gen what are you going to do with him now?” asked his friend, obviously now not interested, by me being a boy as they both thought.
“Me?! Isn’t this your fault? Why should I do anything?” Gen asked.
I tightened my grip on his kimono and pressed my face tighter to his chest. “Please help me…” I sobbed.
I need you to save me! I need you to take me somewhere safe! I begged in my mind.
He looked down at me and tightened his arms around me, then looked up to his friend, serious.
“Sen.…I’ll take care of him,” was all he said.
Thank God! Thank you so much… I’m safe.
“Good now that that’s taken care of you’re going to be late to your meeting with the counsel, if you don’t hurry.”
He got up with me in his arms, mounted his horse, carrying me as if I weighted nothing and started to ride away. I passed out before I could see his face.
My last thought, I’m safe…


*~*~*~*~*


When I woke I was in a futon…which means what happened last night and the past three months were real.
It wasn’t a dream. I was in ancient Japan and I had been beaten nearly to death more than once and I had escaped and been rescued by someone for the second time.
Not the best time of my life. Being taken back to ancient Japan was not my dream, but being able to give myself up for someone who may have cared for me was the best thing I could do and be happy with.
I looked at the ceiling and then got up from the futon. I pressed my palm to my forehead to stop the sickening rush. When it was over I looked around and I found a set of men’s clothing by the door. I noticed I was still wearing the men’s clothes given to me by Kali. I dressed into the men’s kimono, because I didn’t know where I was, so I might need to have more mobility to do what I need, and woman of this time don’t do those kinds of things here.
I opened the door and snuck out and ran right into the tall beautiful man that saved me from drowning. Kail Gen Fujiwara.
Maybe he was the one that had saved me last night…
I rubbed my head and bowed to him, feeling dizzy and it hurt so much I gasped in pain. He pulled me up immediately.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked me. He was angry, I could tell. I looked away from him. No one had ever been mad at me before.
I shock in fear at what he would do to me. Hit me? Slap me? Beat me?
“I-I’m sorry, I t-though I could do s-s-something,” I stuttered.
“You’re hurt. You should be resting,” he said. He placed a hand to my forehead and slid it down to my cheek.
Suddenly a wave of dizziness came over me and I collapsed. Before I hit the ground he caught me and took me up in his arms.
“This is why I told you to stay in bed. And sorry I still don’t know your name.”
I pressed my face into his chest. He was so warm and I felt light headed, almost fuzzy in the head.
“Ash. My name is Ash.” I said after a moment, trying to focus through the clouds in my mind. He still thought I was a boy so I might as well call myself by the name my mom called me before she died.
He laid me in the futon and covered me up. “My name is Kail Gen Fujiwara. Rest well…Ash.”
So he was the one who saved me before…it looks like he’s okay…
He touched my forehead softly and I drifted in to a deep sleep.


Chapter four
Hidden identities


Over the past three weeks I have been hiding who I was from him, but the harder I tried to stay away from him the closer I found myself. And as crazy as it sound as it sound, I was falling in love for the first time in my life. With a man who I thought I was a boy, no less!
I slapped my forehead and regretted it when I got a headache.
Damn! And double damn! I’m my own trader!
I went with him to his work at the palace and where he worked with the imperial records. Men wore tall funny looking hat and Kail wore one too; he said it told everyone he worked there.
As I went through so of the records, I found myself wondering if he could ever love me.
Once again I slapped my head and wished for some common sense. I was worse than a lovesick pup drooling on the shoes of my master!
I knew it would be impossible to get back to my time and it never really matter whether it was here or there. But now I know I was meant to be here. So here I would stay in the place I belonged.
But where is that?
A morning after a few weeks Kail and his friend they came to visit me at the house they stayed at while they worked over time for the Emperor, because Kail was also an adviser to the old geezer. I made tea and earlier I had made some small sandwiches.
They stared at them and asked what they were. I just told them to eat it and see. They did and then I spent an hour a answering questions on them and then they turned to talking about work.
I found out that his friends name was Sen Anika Date and they had been friends for twelve years and Kail was a year younger than him. They had become friends when Kail pulling an arrow out of Sen’s butt, because he was shot for taking an apple from a guard at the palace. A bow and arrow being the only thing the guard had at the time he tried to save his lunch, but the kid got away.
This made me laugh, and they smiled at my joy.
“Hey you know what Ash? Gin here used to be a ladies’ man. But look at him now going after young boys!” Sen said with a laugh. This made me look to Kail with wide startled eyes.
Kail turned red. “I was not and I am not! You’re giving him bad ideas!” Kail said, sounding mortified.
I watched them argue back and forth. It looked like they were having fun. They must be very close. But some of the things they were talking about didn’t make any sense to me. So I just stared at them fighting about what Kail was like and how that was Sen and not Kail.
Soon thought they stopped and looked at me. “What?” they asked together.
I waved them on. “Nothing really. Just that you two seem to be very close,” I said with a smile.
They both turned red.
“What,” Sen asked with mock aghast.
“Well you guys look like you’re having fun together. I’ve never been around people most of my life. No one’s ever even talked to me like this before and I’ve never seen someone act like this. It’s fun. You two look close maybe even past lovers?” I questioned. For some reason this seemed to be the wrong thing to say.
They both went even redder and then Sen broke out laughing. And Kail was left shocked and speechless.
“What? Did I say something funny?” I asked wanting to know why they acted this way.
Sen fell over laughing, his face turning blue and Kail got up and pulled me with him outside and closed the door. He tugged me quite hastily behind him.
He pulled me farther away from the room and stopped. Grabbing me by my arms,
“What are you doing?!” he yelled. “What were you thinking when you said those things?”
I flinched. “I’m sorry by lovers I meant like…like brothers…. I’ve never been around people…very often…in my life! I’m sorry…I didn’t mean…too!”
He hands were hurting my arms.
“You’re…hurting me,” I whispered.
He let go immediately and then took me in his arms. It was my turn to be shocked, by his actions.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Please forgive me I never meant to hurt you Ash,” he said softly, his voice muffled in my hair.
I nodded. We stayed like that for a while then he let go of me.
“We best get back.” I said and went back to the room. Sen was sitting there watching
as I came in.
“Did he yell at you? I thought so. You’re a pretty boy. Would you like the leave that horrible old man and come live with me? I would treat you better and be kind,” Sen asked.
“No thank you. I own Kail my life and it is his to do with what he wishes. And as for getting thing, I don’t need anything. He is kind enough to take care of me. No one has done that before, plus you‘re the rotten stinky old geezer not him.” I sat down and finished my tea.
I heard Sen Whisper under his breath “Looks like he found that ‘one special person for him‘.”
I looked at him, “Did you say anything?”
He smiled, “Nope not a thing.”
Kail came back later and just sat and had a cup of tea. He didn’t talk to me, but when Sen wasn’t looking he gave me a sweet secret smile.
For the rest of the night he talked to Sen and gave me smiles and when he was looking and I would smile back. For the first in my lifetime I was completely happy. I listen to things happening at court and what they did as far as their jobs. I understood most
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