Sam and Sarah- With Apples! - Lizzi St.Clair, Kai J (good books for 8th graders txt) 📗

Sam woke up one day and went downstairs WEARING HIS BAND MERCH, as he went down he thought, “MAN, I could go for some FUCKING apples today!”. When he FINALLY reached the kitchen, he sat down and grabbed 3 FUCKING apples from the fruit bowl OF DOOM, as he was about to bite into one, Sarah came in LIKE A FUCKING NINJA and took 2 apples.

Oh no! Sam wanted to eat 3 FUCKING apples, and Sarah took 2 FUCKING apples! How many GODDAMN FUCKING apples does that leave Sam with ONE DIPSHIT? One NO FUCKING SHIT! Oh no, how many more does he need to fill his tummy TWO DAMNIT? Two I GIVE UP ON YOU FUCKERS! Ok, but oh no AGAIN, he doesn’t have anymore apples GOOD JOB DIPSHIT! Looks like he has to ask Sarah if she does BECAUSE THAT BITCH STOLE HIS APPLES!

As he got to Sarah’s, ALSO BRINGING HIS SHOTGUN, he knocked on her door AND AIMED HIS SHOTGUN AT THAT BITCHES HEAD LEVEL. Sarah opened the door, and saw Sam WITH HIS SHOTGUN, and smiled asking, “What THE FUCK do you want MOTHERFUCKER?”. Sam smiled back and replied, “I was wondering if you have any OF MY FUCKING apples BITCH?”, “Oh those DELICIOUS LITTLE FUCKING apples from this morning? I ate them, AND THEY WERE FUCKING DELICIOUS.”. AIMING HIS GUN AT SARAH’S FACE, Sam said, “Oh, that’s too bad!” AND FIRED SO MANY ROUNDS IN HER FACE THAT IT WAS FUCKING UNRECOGNIZABLE AT ALL AND SHE FUCKING DIED… Then Sarah CAME BACK TO LIFE OH SHIT AND said,”But I have enough money for two more FUCKING apples!” She smiled AND HID A KNIFE BEHIND HER BACK, and Sam agreed happily, because he wanted his FUCKING apples. Sam turned to walk off, and as he did Sarah STABBED HIM IN THE BACK AND said, “Don’t forget the money YOU FUCKING DOUCHE!” And Sam responded with a REVIVAL SPELL WHAT EVEN AND GOT BACK UP AND THEN SAID, “Oh of course! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WILL AVENGE MYSELF RIGHT AFTER I GET SOME FUCKING APPLES KAILI SOME GOD DAMN PIZZA WITH the money YOU FUCKING MORON!”.

After A SERIES OF VIOLENT ATTACKING AND walking to the store for some FUCKING apples, Sarah looked at Sam, REALIZED HE HAD A RAGING COCK MONSTER IN HIS POCKET.

 THIS STUFF IS EXTRA, READ IF YOU WANT

THE ADVENTURES OF SPONGEBOOB & PATBUTT

SPONGEBOOB X PATBUTT

THEY IN JAIL 4-EVA! wHERE THEY GONNA GET RAMMED! 4-EVA! BY 9 INCH “NAILS”

RAINBOOOOOOOOOW

*slow claps*

This story is brought to you by OUR FUCKING IMAGINATIONS.

Stop fucking imaginations, Elezabeth.

SAYS THE ONE WHO GETS OFF ON HER MUSIC.

 COMMENT IF YOU WANT MOOOORRREEEE ok?

I love you all, EXCEPT FOR THOSE I HATE

FUCK YOU INTO OBLIVION, but I hope you enjoyed the book~

Anyway's I'm off!

Text: MERF IDEK
Images: le google
Editing: PFFF me and KJ of course
Translation: aha no englise
Publication Date: 10-20-2014

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
THIS GOES TO KAILI FOR TRIGGERING MY THOUGHT PROCESS