The Confessions of the Fellowship - Ashley Goldsmith (reading well txt) 📗

Merry: So what am i supposed to be confessing?

Random Guy: Anything you want.

Merry: Ok, um, Pippin, I love you. You've been the one for me since we were wee little hobbits. If i didn't have you, i don't know what i'd do. No one's going to know about this right?

RG: No. It's confidential. No one will know.

Merry: K. I'd like you Aragorn, but you really should wash your hair more. And by that i don't mean have sexual encounters with Arwen.
And Eomer your pretty and all but really Boramir was better.
And Legolas, you really need to lay off that "Im the prettiest Fellowship member" thing you got going on. I mean, your not the only pretty one, jeez.
Oh and Sam, lay off on poor Frodo. He may love you, but i dont think he loves you that much.

Dude Gandalf, your old,mate, stop hitting on us hobbits. We don't like it.
Gollum, stay away from Frodo and Sam. You keep giving them that weird rape stare of yours and you wont have any eyes to rape stare out of.

And that orc that stripped Frodo. I love you!!! That was so funny! And when Sam kept staring at him! I loved it!! Loved it, mate!!!!
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sorry its so short. Im working on a Pippin one next so thanx to all my readers!


Pippin: A confession, eh?

Random Guy: Yep, like I told that other little fellow, you can confess anything you want I promise I won't tell. You have my word.

Pippin: Alright! I think I love Boromir! He's so sexi! You know, he let me blow on the Horn of Gondor? I loved it.Merry doesn't know this of course, because if he did he'd be crushed, but You know, I don't have just one fantasy. I have many. And one includes Boromir and the Horn of Gondor!

Aragorn's a sexi beast and I know he's got Arwen and all, but damn! He's got a nice ass. His hairs dirty but his tall lengthy bit makes up for it! Oh Yeah!

RG:Ok, not the weirdest thing I've heard, but continue.

Pippin: Who else have you talked to?

RG: Oh just that little fellow. Oh what's his name? Milly, Mandy....

Pippin: Merry?

RG:Yes thats the one. He's the only one I've talked to. Well, besides you, of course.

Pippin: What'd he say?

RG: I'm not at liberty to say, Sir.

Pippin:Well why not?

RG:Because, well it's a confession, Sir. I'm not supposed to talk about anyone else's confessions. It's just how it is.

Pippin: Fine. Oh, I like Gandalf to a point. The guy really is old. I'm pretty sure he's got an old-man crush on Frodo, though. I wouldn't touch Frodo though, mate. Sam will kill you. He' s a little overprotective of Frodo.

I like Eomer as well. He's a sexy man beast! I could eat him up! His sisters hot too!

Gollum, I don't know what's up with that guy. I bet'cha he's good in bed though!!!!

Legolas, oh mate, we frolic in the gardens in Rivendell. He's so gorgeous, its almost impoosible to take my eyes off of him. Mhhhm! I get excited just thinking about it.

I like Frodo, but the one time we actually did anything, Sam caught us and beat the crap out of me. So thats a deffinite no for him.

RG: ok this has been interesting. I'm going to go.

Pippin: But I'm not finished yet. You're sexy too!

RG:*already gone*


Aragorn: Do I have to do this?

Random Guy: Well, its kind of required. So yeah, I guess.

Aragorn: *sigh*ok. Where do I start?

RG:Where ever you want, King Aragorn son of Arathorn.

Aragorn: Please don't address me that way.

RG: Yes, your majesty.

Aragorn: *huge sigh* So, I confess how I feel about everyone?

RG: Yep. Thats pretty much how it goes.

Aragorn: Ok. I really, really love Arwen. But ever since this Fellowship thing has started, I've had feelings for for other people, if you get what I mean.

RG: guys, right?

Aragorn: Yes exactly. Boromir, Eomer, Legolas, and the cute little Hobbits. They've all gotten to me.

Every time Boromir mentions his Horn of Gondor, I shiver and remember that night...... It was a cold night, and Arwen hadn't come around in a while. It just happened, without warning........

And Legolas going on about how pretty he is. Well, I had to agree with him. And then he made me frolic in the garden with him and Pippin. It was so strange, but he made uo for it that night. He let me be on top.

Gandalf, well he's old and wise. And deffinitely experienced.....

RG: I don't want to know about you and some old wizard!

Aragorn: Oh, sorry... Anyways. Sam and Frodo make an adorable couple, especially because of Sam's fondness for Frodo. It's strange how much that hobbit loves Frodo. Merry only has eyes for Pippin, but Pippin.. Now that's one exciting hobbit..he knows so much more than I credited him for. Gollum is one strange fellow. He's a freak int he bed though!

RG: Ok, this is sick. I'm so not doing this anymore. *Gets up and leaves.*

Aragorn: Wait come back, I'm your King and I order you to get back in here. *follows RG*

Publication Date: 12-28-2011

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