E-mail fueds - Caitlin Bussi (pdf e book reader .txt) 📗

Dear Friday-

By golly, I just saw a talking hamster, the weird thing was that it was not driving its car very strange.By horse, the news just discovered water under my blankie and stole it!! My poor blankie what did you do to them??

Well back to whatever I wasn't gonna say, the news cast said humans were landing on earth. I was wondering if you had and thing to do with it?? I mean seriously humans are only a fourth month of fifth year prank right?!

Remember to always go right but stay left please when you are walking your pet snail. My pet whale had a party last night and all I remember is knocking over the chipmunk fountain and making chipmunk angles by swallowing them whole. I got a very bad report from my whale after that and got kicked out of the fish bowl.

The strange thing is, I don't remember ever getting a fish bowl or putting a whale in it. WHHHHHHAAAATTT A PIG FLYING MONTH, where did I get the whale????

I wanna ask you a question, do you hate me? I think my momma doesn't hate me I mean she dresses me up as a golf stick and tells me what to do all the time, seriously whats wrong with eating the cat's bra and dressing up as a pink flying elephant named pelenipy?!
Well back to Thursdays problems, why do you have to live so close to monday and leave Thursday with Saturday? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?

Well i have to go eat my homework and do my lunch!!

Talk to you lader, smelly elephant tail,

Lots of hate,

All rights reserved.

What wait that’s not my name? Fine if you know my name so well then take it I don't need it!! >=P

Dear September-

I know you don't wanna talk to me but I found your pet cup in my back yard this morning although I don't remember ever having a back yard or ever waking up in the morning? Maybe I'm getting old you know that I'm turning six hundred next week over at Friday's house.

I took my pet rock for a walk this afternoon although he just sat and took a wizz on the grass for about three hours till he moved over to a dog’s foot for a few seconds. The dog got angry and started to beat up my poor rock with an even poorer banana that just happened to take sock shot at the neighbor’s loo roll.

Air was just discovered by America and relativity just discovered Elbert Einstein. I just found out that you’re not supposed to wear monkeys as underwear and toothpaste as a mustache. I mean what is wrong with dressing up as rainbow and asking kids for money to save endangered unicorns but then chucking a bucket of fire at them??

I really don't want to be in this mental situation its blowing my mind!! Oh wait I forgot I lost my mind yesterday before Homework, do you think you can help me find it?

Oh I almost didn't forget to ask, we need to go and find Thursday he went fishing on Monday last week. I don't think Monday was able to hold down that garlic roll and sank them both.

Well I need to go catch some Z's and add them to my alphabet collection,

Lots of flyin monkeys to you old fried chicken soup,

More Info.

P.s Friday stole my name so I'm just using this one for now :?

Dear postage stamp-

I love panda's, they’re not racists they are black, white and Asian. But they are also EVIL! I went to the zoo yesterday and I gave the panda some underwear and a banana but then he ate the underwear and threw the banana at me!!!

Anyway the garden plants very staring at me last week. I think they’re on to me that I eat them, so their giving me the plant eye although it’s quite gross and slimy. I just rolled them back, so they can just go and choke down some carbon.

Well I and September were looking for Monday and Thursday on Wednesday but apparently we aren't allowed to sail on a person or day whatever he is.

Life just isn't fair!! My mom still doesn't hate me but instead of a golf stick she dresses me up as a graffiti-ed brick.

I had an ice block for homework yesterday although it just melted all over the floor, very bad table manners might I please say. Well i got another one out of the furnace and ate it but then I got a foot freeze because I fell asleep with my foot in the furnace!!

I sat outside with a pinacalada today. A couple of loo rolls started staring at us and whispering to themselves. They all got turned into onion rings in the end, well except for loo he was busy being used.

Well I need to go oil my Patience,

My truly,

Valentine.

P.s Friday stole my name and I got bored with the other one.

Dear calendar-

I was chucking eggs at pre-scholars today, they didn't know what hit them but I was kind enough to chuck a bucket of water at them although the bucket gave one a concussion.

Funoledge is my favorite lesson; it is a lesson were you learn to pronounce the word lemonade although I'm still getting bad grades.

Last week was Halloween and I dressed up as Algebra I know, I know its lame but i kept asking random kids for money to save fairies from tsunamis but after they gave the money to me, the plants from my house stole it all to buy crackers for the dancing Gnomes.

I just don't get the word knife, what’s the K for anyway? The word is just fine as it is, so why add the frigging fuzz ball K!

I'm sorry you had to sniff my underwear there, so don't get your pants in your homework!

I was watching Phantom of the opera the other day, but I don't get it, the guy seemed solid enough? I'm as confused as a cat eating a slug!

Well the onion rings were eyeing me this morning, though that's strange enough I don't ever remember buying onion rings, I think that they are snicking into every ones houses planning world domination! I know right!?

Well the suns eating my roof again, I can hear it crunching.

I need to go save the world from ninja eating hamsters,

Go kiss a pinacalada,

Print.

P.S Someone stole my other name so I stole theirs.

Dear Astros-


A meteor full of smurfs landed in my yard this morning, although i still don't know where the yard came from?

The elves started living under my bed 'cause the cat moved it's undies to the fridge, although the fridge is quite hot.

In my planet, Buffet, we all wear shoes in side our socks but the other stupid people who call this place "earth" do it the other way around!!! I know crazy right??

Well we learnt how to walk this morning it’s very hard thing to do, chocolate stealing ninja's came and stole my pants. I mean why my pants they have pants of their own don't they?

The government stole my blakie 'cause it took a wizz on the president, but I sent cheese eating ninjas after them. Ha take that government. :P

Well the gnomes have stolen my crackers, but I stole their undies now. Stupid gnomes, I should throw you in the hot fridge.

I was throwing pieces of pizza at turtles yesterday, and then I threw Calendar at them. Poor turtles they had to sniff his grape soda.

Well the ninjas are back with the government, I'm going to make them eat my cat's bra that is if I can find it.

See you at Silversnow's house on Monday (he’ll be the car for a change),

I'm choking on a slug and smell of asparagus,

Pancake.

P.S I lost my other name at a pickle club, what don't judge, I like pickles. Fine then be that way.