Liar Liar Pants on Fire - Meli J Nightly (christmas read aloud TXT) 📗

“Hello?”

“Oh, it’s you.”

“Well, do you want me to jump with joy when I hear the voice of a murderer?”

“Yes, a murderer.”

“You are

a murderer and I don’t like talking to murderers.”

“Don’t you dare call me your accomplice.”

“No, I’m not crying.But I feel like crying.”

“I mean look at his body...”

“I know you can’t see him, smart-ass.”

“It’s just that... he never stood a chance with you.
And all because you were drunk!”

“What do you mean ‘who cares’? You frivolous man!”

“He was only two years old!”

“Yeah well I wasn’t the one who killed him.”

“I’m doing what you told me to do, okay? I feel bad
enough as it is.”

“Weren’t you the one to tell me: ‘We need to hide the body’?”

“Yes, I’m digging the hole for the body as we speak.”

“In the backyard.”

“Well what did you want me to do, go in the woods for that?!”

“No one will see me!”

“I’m telling you-”

“Uh-oh.”

“He’s here.”

“Jason. Jason is here.”

“I thought he was out playing. Don't say I told you so! Wait, hold on...”

“He heard everything.”

“Will you just wait?! And stop yelling at me!”

“Yup, he’s crying and he heard everything.”

“Why is it my fault?!”

“I was not the one who killed the stupid rat looking
thingy.”

“What? Gerbil? Oh! Now you want to get all technical with me.”

“I told you we needed to tell him the truth!”

“Yes, I know he’s only four. But we cannot lie to our children. You killed it, now take responsibility.”

“Oh... oh wait. Jason don’t do that!”

“He’s taking the gerbil with him.”

“No! Put that thing down! No! Don’t you run away with it. Stop hugging it Jason!!”

“Yeah, he’s the one screaming like crazy.”

“He’s screaming: ‘Liar, liar pants on fire' and he doesn't want to let go of the squished gerbil.”

“See what you put your son through?"

“He’s going to need a lot of therapy after this and so are you because I want a divorce!”

“Good-Bye.”

Publication Date: 06-10-2011

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