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I Can't Explain It


We walked for hours, maybe days. I hadn’t realized we lost Ronnie.
She was so quiet, only talking when she was informing the rest of us that she needed to take a rest which wasn’t a lot. I wasn’t close to her, none of us were. Ronnie only talked to James her only friend. There were five of us, Ronnie, James, Faith, Blake and Monica, which is me. We all found each other, either runaways or delinquents. All looking for a new start. First, it was just me and I found Ronnie and James together, fighting over food in the woods, runaways, from a foster home. We were alone for a couple weeks before Blake came along. We stuck together, all of us. Relying on one another. I got close to Blake; we acted as if we were brother and sister. That was until that thing named Faith showed up. She stuck to him like glue, she took him from me. She’s the only one I don’t like, and the only one who does dislike her. She never gets my name right either…


“Where did she go?” Faith asked, running her short straight blonde hair through her hands. “I don’t know, but I wonder what happened, Ronnie wouldn’t just leave. I know her. Someone had to have taken her.” James answered, worriedly looking away and pulling his black hair into a ponytail. He wore a long-sleeved striped shirt and bell-bottom pants. Faith had on a pair of short shorts that were torn in the front, a T-Shirt and was barefoot. Blake was asleep in Faith’s tent they shared together…un-fortunately. I shared a tent with James, once again, unfortunately. It was night, we had just put up the tents, when I had noticed something was odd. James had started to freak out, while Faith was making snarky comments about Ronnie. That's when we realized she had been gone. "Ronnie?" I had screamed once before Blake ran behind me and cursed, saying not to raise my voice unless I was trying to get us all killed.
"We need to look for her. She could be in trouble," James said, turning to me. "She could be miles away from us, does anybody even know how long she's been gone?" I asked. Faith leaned against a tree nearby, picking at her...somehow, perfect nails. James disappeared to god only knows where and Blake was now next to me holding my hand. James appeared with deep red on his shirt. "Are you bleeding?" I asked. Faith looked up at him and said, "Are you ok, James?”. Blake just stood there like a statue.
The leaves rustled nearby and the wind picked up. James dried his hands off, we all looked up. Blake was the first one to talk, "Everyone! Get your back-packs, everyone go east! Don’t follow each other. Just go east! Run!" He screamed, his voice almost completely drowned out by the helicopter hovering slightly above the trees.
I grabbed my pack next to my left leg and ran. Even though Blake said, "Don't follow" I did. I followed him, I couldn't lose him. The only real family I ever actually had, unless you counted an alcoholic a dad, and a mother who abandoned you an actual "mom", then I had the best family ever. I look behind me and see James following me as well. But one little bird isn't there. Faith. I look in front of me and I don't know where Blake’s headed. I hear water, but I don't see anything. I'm running fast, almost tripping on crumpled branches and piles of leaves.
I hear it before I see it. The cliff, Blake jumped off of it and into the water.

First look, it's undeniably a long way down. But when you think of free-falling in the air, at lightning speed, then it's not so bad. I jump, and crumple into a ball on the way down. I put my head on my knees too, which are curled up tightly as possible. Next thing I know, I'm underwater. My body's straining to come back up. I start to freak out, because there's one thing that I made myself forget, before the jump.
I don't know how to swim.
I've tried before, to learn. It didn't work very well, ended up punching my instructor in the face when I went under and he tried to help me out. Well that's HE said. I say, he's some evil 'thing' that's set out to make sure that I drown in a pool or in some freak accident including water. I open my eyes for a split second, while my arms and legs are flailing in the air and the water. A hand grabs me and drags me unto land and I scream. I hear another splash in the water- knowing it wasn't me, I feel much better. I swear I just saw my life flash before my eyes, but then again that could've just been me blinking a lot. "Are you ok?" a voice says. I recognize the care-free tone at once, Blake. "Yes, I don't know how to swim. I'm ok, kind of. I could use a tree, though." I reply, holding my hand to my mouth. His eyes wide and he brings me to a nearby bush and that's when it happens.
I can't even bring myself to say it. Faith screamed and ran straight for the water. By this, I mean, I missed the bush and accidently threw up all over Faith, who had just got to where I was. James was out of the water already, putting his dirty feet into the water.
Blake got a big leaf off the bush and handed one to me. "Here, the best substitute I got for a napkin. Sorry." He told me, rubbing my back. I wiped my mouth and threw the leaf on the ground. Blake took my hand in his and that's when the butterflies came for a visit, and so did the sparks. The fireworks, which only I, in my daydream see.
"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault that the tree doesn't provide napkins." I say back to him. I look up and see him smile, his dimples...not even trying to hide. His black, usually straight hair is in a curly mess, I turn and give him a hug. Looking at his face, even with dirt, he still looks beautiful. I stop hugging him and let go of his hand even though that's the last thing I want to do. I walk over to James and sit by the water, dipping my toes in.
We sat here, just watching the waterfall, for what seemed like forever. "Do you really think she abandoned us?" James asks finally. "No.” I reply.
He nodded, and we exchanged smiles. But I could tell, even though his face show he believed me, I knew he didn't. There WAS something odd about Ronnie though. Odd about Ronnie and James. Like the way James dressed, as if we were in the 1970's, but really it was 2018. Ronnie used to look like she was a homeless woman.

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Text: Alexis Chavers
Publication Date: 12-06-2012

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