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was sick. I didnā€™t like it when she didnā€™t come to school. It was like when Lucy use to visit me in kindergarten at lunch time and when she was away and didnā€™t come. I just felt so alone. And by now I stopped taking my stuffed animals to school with me. I was terrified that someone would see them and I would be so embarrassed, being caught bringing them to Grade 2. Jen continued everyday to walk me to and from school. The bullies that pushed me down and hit me had not been around for some time. Or at least I didnā€™t see them on my walk home anymore. I wondered if my Momma made a call to the Principal to complain and thatā€™s why they were not bothering me. But I should have known better. When Ally came back to school she finally told me what happened and why she didnā€™t want to talk about it that day. She told me that two older boys and a girl stopped her in the school yard and started to push her telling her she was ugly and dirty. ā€œI was so angryā€, Ally said. ā€œI just wanted to kick them and scratch their eyes outā€. ā€œWho do they think they are anywayā€? ā€œSo I told them they were ugly tooā€, she continued. ā€œOh no, I said and what happened thenā€. The bigger boy pushed me down and called me a nigger. I got back up and I realized my brand new white tights were ripped and had blood on them I just got really mad. I turned around and flew at him ready to tear him apart. Thatā€™s when Mrs. Chapman saw me and hulled me to the office to see Mr. Grimes the Principal. I told her that boy needed to come to cause he was the one who started it. I tried to tell Mrs. Chapman the whole story but she wouldnā€™t have it. She just grabbed me by the arm and dragged me down to the office. I was to mad to be scared, until I got into Mr. Grimes ā€˜office and saw his face. As I walked in Mrs. Chapman was walking out so I know she told her the story first. And by the look on Mr Grimesā€™ face he was really mad. I didnā€™t think he was mad at me though. Sit down he said in a mean voice, so I sat and I tried to start to explain what happened. Mr. Grimes said, I donā€™t want to hear it girl! I donā€™t tolerate fighting at my school you hear me? I will have to call your parents and tell them that this will not be accepted here at West Park and if you canā€™t behave you will have to go to another school. I just sat there staring at her; I had no idea what to say. What do you have to say for yourself girl? He bellowed. I was startled. Um, um, Mr. Grimes, I...I didnā€™t start the fight. I choked out. Well girl thatā€™s not what Mrs. Chapmen had to say and she told me the whole story of how you attacked another student for no reason. Was there a reason? What? Mrs Chapmen said I attacked him? I questioned. No, no, he called me a nigger and, and he said I was ugly and....Mr. Grimes cut me off saying we cannot go around punching other people cause they call us ugly. But, but he called me a nigger! I reminded him. He continued as if I never said the word as if he went momentarily deaf. You just canā€™t fight because someone calls you ugly or calls you names you got that girl? Now get back to class before I call your parents to come get you and take you home for the day. And stay out of trouble where his last words as he closed the door to his office as I left. I was stunned. What had just happened to me was all I could think of for most of the day? Thatā€™s why I couldnā€™t talk to you Karma, I just couldnā€™t talk. My momma told me that people who used words like that were just ignorant and we should feel sorry for them for not knowing any better. But Mr Grimes just wouldnā€™t even listen to me; he wouldnā€™t even hear what happened. I just couldnā€™t understand. Did you tell your Momma? I asked. Oh ya, when I got home but she didnā€™t do anything. All she could say was, that was our life and we had to deal with the ignorance of people and try to survive it the best we can. Iā€™m not sure what she really means with that but I think she says I can kick someoneā€™s butt if they pick on me. Mr. Grimes didnā€™t call Momma but I think he will the next time. Ally was already ready for the next time.

Chapter 10

Time went by, as time did. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow. Kids continued to pick on me and Ally. Ally didnā€™t fight back. It was like she didnā€™t even want to anymore. What was the point, she would say. We will only get in trouble anyway. She was right, I couldnā€™t deign that. So we took it. We took the name calling and the pushing and the ā€œtime outsā€ as some teachers liked to call it. But we knew. We knew those people just hated us. They would never come out and say it but we felt it was because our skin was brown. It was a rough few years until sixth grade when our world at West Park Elementary School began to change. It began earlier this year when we got a new principal at West Park Elementary. Her name was Ms Weber. She was short and a very tiny lady. She had beautiful blonde hair that fell to her shoulders. Every morning she would say good morning to every student. Even to me. She always dressed so professional, and she always wore the most beautiful high heels I had ever seen. I guess they made her feel taller. Why else would anyone want to wear those things on their feet, they just looked like they hurt. When I met her earlier this year she called me down to her office I was so worried. I wondered what I had done wrong now, and what punishment was coming my way, as I sat in one of the hard wooden chairs in the office, waiting to see her. She opened her office door and she looked at me. Karma your next, come on in. Then she smiled. It was a big warm smile and something inside me told me I was ok, that I wasnā€™t in trouble today. But why was I here? I thought. ā€œKarma, Iā€™m Ms Weberā€. ā€œHi, Ms Weberā€, I replied. As I stood there frozen in place. Come sit down, she said pointing to her small office table and chairs. On the table sat a tea pot and a plate of pretty looking sugar cookies. ā€œKarma, I love to have tea and cookies in the afternoonā€. ā€œDo you like teaā€? She asked me. ā€œUmm well ya with lots of sugar and milk,ā€ I replied. She chuckled and then asked if I would like some tea? I was confused, then shocked. Just what was she doing? ā€œUmm, okā€, I whispered. ā€œHave a cookie or two with it,ā€ she offered. Wow! What the heck was happening? Was I in the twilight zone or something? Since when did the principal of the school offer me tea and cookies? And in the middle of the afternoon when I should be in math class, none the less? What the heck was going on? She put the tea and cookies in front of me. But I just sat there staring at her waiting for things to turn ugly. Just like they always do at West Park Elementary. She began to talk and ask me what my interests are and do I play sports. My answers were quick and short. Until she said, ā€œKarma please donā€™t be afraid of meā€. ā€œI asked you down here today to meet you face to face and to tell you things here at West Park Elementary will be different nowā€. Oh great was all I could think, see it didnā€™t take long before that point was made clear. Things for me are different. I sat and continued to listen, I was too scared to talk or ask any questions. I think Ms Weber could see how frightened I was by the look in my eyes. As Ms. Weber continued to explain how things would be different at West Park, a deep sigh of relief fell over me. ā€œKarma honey...I know you have had a difficult time so far here at West Parkā€. She began saying, but I didnā€™t hear anything after she said Karma honey.
No one but my Momma and Dad ever called me honey, and to hear a principal call a student honey was unreal to me, especially her calling me honey. I didnā€™t know what to think or say so I just sat and listened as she talked in a soft quiet voice. I started to feel more comfortable as she spoke about how she knew about all the bulling that has been going on and how some kids can be so cruel. I started to feel that she really understood me, understood my life at school. The butterflies started to move quickly inside my belly and I wanted to just cry right then and there. I didnā€™t realize it but tears began to roll down my cheeks as I continued to listen to Ms Weber. She stopped speaking and just looked at me, then said ā€œKarma? Whatā€™s wrong?ā€ Why are you crying, have I upset you? ā€œNo, Ms Weber, sorryā€, I said as I wiped the tears from my cheeks. ā€œNothing is wrong, I donā€™t know why Iā€™m crying, reallyā€, I continued. ā€œWell something I have said must have upset you, you can tell me, I wonā€™t get upsetā€. ā€œNo honestly Ms Weber I donā€™t know why I have tears.ā€ ā€œTell me how youā€™re feeling Karma?ā€ That was the first time since kindergarten that a teacher or principal ever asked me how I was feeling and really truly wanted to know. I couldnā€™t handle that kind of kindness any longer and I just broke out into giant sobs. I put my head in my hands to hide my face from Ms Weber. ā€œOh, Karma, whatā€™s the matter dear, this talk is only for us to get to know each other, donā€™t be so upset, there is no needā€. ā€œI didnā€™t want to make you sad.ā€ I lifted my face and looked at Ms. Weber and said ā€œI am not sad Ms. Weber I ā€˜m relievedā€. Ms Weber looked at me very confused, so I explained further that I was relieved that someone else sees what I see and understands what my life
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