The Azuli - Cassidy Shay (novels in english .txt) 📗

“You always have something so helpful to say. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to pay you back.” He didn’t say anything to that, but kept rubbing my back until I fell asleep. Laying there like that, all wrapped up in his arms, was the most comfortable that I could ever remember being. It was a good reminder that despite all the terrible things, there were also some good things about the Azuli Academy.
When he got up to leave, it woke me up. He didn’t say anything, but he was humming a lullaby that I remembered from when I was a toddler, when life was simple. He laid me back in the bed and pulled the covers over me, just like Carl had done two days before. This time was different, though. Collin tucked in the sides, and then leaned over me. He hesitated, looked at my lips, and then kissed my cheek.
As he left, I reached up and touched my lips. It was then that I realized that, more than anything, I had wanted him to kiss me.
Chapter 5

I didn’t fall asleep again, but I still hadn’t gotten out of bed when everyone got back from lunch. My mom had a sandwich with her, and she handed it to me when I sat up. “How are you?” she asked. “You look like you’ve been crying.” I thought fast, trying to find something that might have made me cry.
“They said that I couldn’t have roses. I remember we had rose bushes in our garden at home, and I wanted all the flowers to be roses. They said that roses are too expensive, and I’ll have to deal with whatever they give me. I guess that, along with all the other stress of everything else, it just made me break down. But I’m fine now. How was lunch?”
My mom started talking about how wonderful the food was, and how nice everyone had been, completely unaware of my lie.
Her mention of good food made me think of the food that I ate before coming to the Academy. I blanked out for a moment, imagining all the food that my mom used to make.
She was almost always cooking. Well, when she was home. One of the things that my parents had done around the community was to cook dinners for all the events that they went to. She made stews, casseroles, and just about everything else that you could think to make.
I always looked forward to dinner time, because even if the mean was leftovers from the night before and I had to eat it in the company of Aymie instead of my parents, it was as if my tongue was in heaven.
And there she was, complimenting the Academy’s chefs and their food. Even the improved food was nothing in comparison to my mother’s cooking.
After a few minutes of us talking, I realized that a few people were missing. “Mom, where are Dad and the boys?” I asked.
“They are talking to Carl’s parents,” she answered. “By the way, they are dying to meet you. Carl was talking about you nonstop the whole time we were eating. You are so lucky to have found someone so loving and sweet.” I rolled my eyes, but she didn’t see it. “Do you want to go meet them?”
I got up, thinking that I might as well get the whole thing over with, because I knew I’d have to meet them eventually. “Sure,” I said, and led the way out of the room. Macy stayed behind, but I wished she had come with us. Macy always made things easier.
If I ever needed help to confront someone or get through a bad day, she was always there. She had the right words to say, her touch was always comforting.
Even if she didn’t say a word, her presence was comforting. I felt like I could handle anything, just because she was there with me.
I was worried that, when I met Carl’s parents, I would need Macy with me, and she wasn’t going to be there.
When we got to the room, I decided to lay it on thick, and hopefully Carl would understand, and accept, the indirect apology.
I quickly ran through the Memories and tried to find out what to do, what would be the best way to convince everyone of my love for Carl.
Some girls merely blushed and turned away. Some girls played hard to get, and some kept their relationships secret from their parents. A few girls merely flirted, while others pounced on the boys.
Because of the variations, I tried to find Memories of engaged couples, and that helped me a little more.
I discovered that I had to show lots of affection, because as an engaged couple, we should have been very used to each other and used to showing that we were together. Well,

I thought, this should be fun.

“Hey, Carl,” I said, and wrapped my arms around his neck. I brought my face very close to his, and I had a smile on my face. “After we make all the introductions, can we have a minute alone? I want to… um… talk to you.” Before he could say anything, I planted a quick, light kiss on his lips, and then turned to face everyone else. I intertwined my fingers with his, and I leaned against him.
“Um…” he said, surprised by my entrance. “Uh, this is my mom, and this is my dad.” I stepped forward and gave them both a hug.
His mother had red hair, with green eyes and a pug nose. She was a little plump, with a double chin and red cheeks. His dad was tall, with broad shoulders just like his son. His brown hair framed his face, and his brown eyes were framed by thick, dark eyelashes.
“Mom and dad, this is Penny, my bride-to-be.” For the next few minutes, we talked about the wedding. I tried to be excited, pretended to care about all the little details. The males had their own conversation off to the side of the room, but I held on the Carl’s hand the whole time. Finally, after seeing all my glances toward Carl, his dad got everyone’s attention.
“Let’s give these two some privacy, eh?” Then, to Carl, he added, “This young lady’s been looking at you this whole time.” With a wink, he led the way out the door. Everyone followed him, but my dad was the last to leave.
“Can I ask you for a favor, Carl?” he asked, and Carl nodded. “You only have a week left before she’s your wife. Right now, she’s still my little girl. So hands off until she’s yours, okay? For me.”
“Yes, sir,” Carl said, while I blushed a deep crimson. As soon as we were alone, Carl pushed me away. “What the hell, Penny?” he asked. “One minute, you’re telling me you can’t ‘act natural’ when you have to pretend to love me, and the next time I see you you’re all over me. Why do you do that to me?”
“I knew that what I’d said to you earlier had hurt you. I thought that maybe by doing what I’m supposed to do instead of complaining about it, it would make things a little bit better. But I guess it just made things worse. My actions probably just hurt you even more because of how you feel-”
“Wait. What are you talking about?” By that point, I’d begun to rant, talking more to myself than to him. Originally, I hadn’t planned on telling him I had heard the conversation between him and Jack. I knew it would only make things more awkward than they already were, if that was even possible.
Since I’d said what did, though, I knew I had to tell him. I took a deep breath, and then sat on the bed. “I heard you talking when you told Jack that you loved me.”
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes as he soaked everything in. “So… why didn’t you tell me that you knew?” he asked. Before I could answer, though, he went on. “And do you know just how much it hurts just walking down the hall holding your hand? I don’t think you understand at all. For the past three weeks, I’ve been living out my dream. Hugging and kissing you, holding your hand, getting everything ready to marry you. But it kills me inside because I know you hate the whole idea of it.” He took a deep breath, then looked into my eyes. “And you’re right. It did hurt a lot when you came in and were acting like… well, you were acting like you really loved me. Like you really wanted to marry me. I even believed it for a second,” he admitted. “It was when I realized it was all an act that it hurt.” He looked at the ground.
“You see, Penny, you have no idea what I would give for you to act like that towards me, and to really mean it. To really want to hold my hand, and to have a minute alone to… Well, you get the point,” he said, and started blushing as he sat on the floor. “I’d give anything,” he added, mostly to himself.
It was silent for several minutes after that, as I tried to think of something to say, something that would offer comfort. I kept drawing a blank, except for one thing. I didn’t know if it would help or not, but I decided to risk it, and I went ahead and said it.
“You know, Carl,” I started, “the reason that I hate all this is because I’m being forced into it. Not because I’m being forced to marry you, but because I’m being forced to marry anyone at all. Under different circumstances, I might have been able to act the way I acted earlier, and actually mean it. But the fact is, these are the circumstances, and we have to work with what we’ve got. We can make things work so that I’m not hurting you as much. I really do love you, Carl. Just not as a potential husband. I love you like a brother.” I got off the bed and walked in front of him. I pulled him up and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re a very sweet boy, Carl. You’re smart, kind, and loving. You’re protective and handsome. Maybe, after I’m gone, you’ll find a girl to go through all this with you. Someone who you love, and someone who will be able to love you back. Someone who would want nothing more than to marry you and have your children. I’m sorry I’m not that girl. She’s out there, though. I can feel it.”
I took his hand and led him to the door. Before opening it, I looked at him. “You ready to face everyone?” I asked. He nodded, and