The Azuli - Cassidy Shay (novels in english .txt) 📗

told Jack that he loves me, and he didn’t know that I heard him. And then when I told him I knew, we talked about it. That’s why I can say it and you can’t, Mary. That’s why I was irritated with the petty complaints coming from you two. ‘Oh, I have to lie to my parents and sibling. How will I ever live? Poor me!’
“Well, guess what? I have to lie to my parents and to Carl’s parents about being in love with him. I have to face the fact that every time I hold his hand or kiss him, it breaks Carl’s heart all over again. I can’t stand the sight of him anymore, and he used to be a brother to me. And I have to marry that person. I don’t have to worry about lying to my brother. Instead, I have to watch my brother lie about being in love with someone that I know he can’t stand. I’ll have to watch him marry you in five days, Mary. Do you know how bad that will hurt me? On top of all that, I have to ignore how I feel about Collin, because it will just lead to trouble.
“Oh, and I forgot. I’m the youngest person in this whole experiment. Everyone else has someone their own age to help get them through this, someone that can relate to the situation. There’s no way that anyone can even begin to understand how I feel about all of this. No one that can relate to it. And you think that these last two days have been exhausting for you guys? Walk a mile in my shoes, and you’ll be begging to have yours back.”
For several minutes, none of them said a word. Finally, Dr. Pender decided to change the subject. “It’s time that we get on with the check-up now,” she said. “Who wants to go first?” So that I could leave early, I volunteered to go first. It was just a routine check-up. It took about ten minutes, and then I was free to go. Before I left, though, she grabbed my arm.
“It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate. Keep talking to Collin, Macy, and Jack, and stay strong. If anyone can make it through this week, I definitely have all my money on you.” She winked, and then released my arm. “After lunch today, you’re having your final fitting for your wedding dress. If she wants, your mom can go with you. Don’t be late though, okay? It’s a lot of fun to have your mom at a fitting, but we only have a short amount of time.”
I nodded, and then turned on my heel and left the room. I went to my cell and sat on the bed. My mom was talking to Macy, and they both looked up.
“There’re some things that I need to go over with my planner today,” I said. My mom started to nod, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It was going to be a mass wedding, with eleven other couples. Why would I have my own planner?

I just continued with my lie, though, knowing that it was simpler than explaining the truth.
I’m going to try to get some roses, even if I can’t have all roses. So I won’t be going to lunch today. But, Mom, after lunch is over, if you want to go with me, we are having my final dress fitting. And Macy, you can go with me too, if you want.” They both said that they would go, and then I asked them where the boys were.
“I think they went to their room with your dad and Carl’s parents,” said Macy. I thanked them, told them I’d see them after lunch, and then walked out the door.
When I got to the boys’ room, I pushed open the door without knocking and they all looked at me as if I had interrupted something.
“I’m sorry. Am I bothering you guys?” I asked.
“No, it’s okay,” said Carl, standing up. “I was wondering when you would get out of that room. I swear, you girls always take so much time to get such simple tasks done and over with.” He gave me a hug, and then we sat down on his bed together. I had his hand, and I placed my head lightly on his shoulder.
We all talked about the wedding, and all the details. Eventually, the alarm sounded, announcing lunch time.
“Oh, Carl, I forgot to tell you. I have some more things that I need to take care of during lunch today.” I looked over to his mom. “After lunch, I am having my final fitting for my dress. Would you like to come with me?” She declined my offer, and everyone filed out of the room. Carl stayed behind with me.
“You don’t really have things to take care of for the wedding, do you?” he asked, and I shook my head. “Penny, can I ask you a question?” I nodded, and he let out a sigh. I could see the hurt look in his eyes, but I couldn’t look away. “Do you like him?” I didn’t say anything, just nodded. “Okay,” he said, and then turned and left. Before he turned away, I got a glimpse of the hurt that his eyes held.
I walked to my cell to wait, but it took more time than usual for Collin to get there. As I waited, I thought about him. I thought about how much I cared for him, even if I couldn’t fully admit it to anyone. In this scary, dark period in my life, Collin had brought security and light. He gave me a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen. He always had something positive to say, always convinced me that it wasn’t the end of the world.
I rarely laughed around anyone but Collin. Of course, there were fake laughs and smiles that I gave to everyone else. But it was only with Collin that my teeth would show, that my eyes would join in.
As I was thinking all this, I was sitting on my bed, picking as a thread that had come loose from my sheets. I heard a crash from the hallway, and heard Collin cuss under his breath. When he came in, I found out why he had been late.
He came in with a weird look on his face, as if he’d just witnessed something extremely strange. “That was pretty unexpected,” he said, and then looked at me. “I just saw Mary. She… uh… I’m not really sure what she was doing. It was just weird,” he said, and then looked at me and smiled.
“Tell me about it, then. I haven’t had much entertainment for a while, so it’d be nice,” I said. Then I sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to me.
“She kept talking about having ‘someone to lean on,’” he said. “She said that if I could help you out, then I could help her out, because she’s less dramatic and… easier.” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, and then continued. “She kept getting closer to me, until I was backed up against a wall. Then she got really close, so close I could have kissed her if I’d wanted to.”
I stopped listening for a second, and thought about that. Why would she do that to me? I told them how I’d felt about Collin, and she’d tried to take him away from me? I had known before that she was a devious, deceitful person, but I hadn’t known that it was that extreme.
“… and I wasn’t sure how to answer that question to anyone, let alone someone I’d just met. So I just left,” he finished.
“I’m sorry. I lost you. What question did she ask you?” I felt bad for not listening to him, especially after all the times he’d listened to me so patiently.
“She asked me how I felt about you, and if I knew how you felt. It was kind of a random question, and I think that’s one reason that I couldn’t answer. She just caught me off guard.” He looked away as he said this and wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“Well, will you tell me how you feel?” I asked, and he shrugged. “Please? It’s important to me. If you tell me, then I’ll tell you why it’s so important.”
“Alright,” he said reluctantly. “If it’s really that important to you, then I’ll tell you. I think that you are such an incredibly smart, beautiful, kind girl. You’re my best friend, and I can trust you with anything. I always have fun with you, and I’m going to miss seeing you after the wedding. You always make my day so bright and happy. I wake up and think, ‘I might get to see Penny today,’ and I smile. Just the thought of you makes whatever I’m doing, no matter how gross, seem bearable.
“When you move, you have to promise me that you won’t forget about me. You have to come visit me once in a while. Because… I like you, Penny. I like you a lot. I might… I might even love you.”
“I’ll make you a deal,” I said. “After the wedding, I’ll come here every day until I leave. And when I’m gone, I’ll send letters to your house whenever I can so you’ll know that I’m okay. But you have to promise something. Even when I’m gone, you need to be happy. Marry a nice girl, someone you’ll actually be able to be with. Have a house with a yard and few kids, maybe even a dog. Don’t make your life be over when you’re seventeen just because your first love isn’t there anymore.”
He was silent for a minute, and he was looking right at me, into my eyes. Finally, he said, “So you’re still planning on leaving?”
“I have to, Collin. You may or may not understand this. But whether you do understand or not, I’m not going to sit here and be treated the way they treat me. They can’t make me do this. I won’t take it, and I’ll-”
“Treated like what, honey?” I heard. I looked at the door and saw my mom and Macy standing there. “Is everything okay?” She glanced at Collin, as if she thought he had been the cause of my rant.
“I was just venting about the Academy. They won’t let me even have roses in just my bouquet. Not even one!” I tried to sound upset, but I wasn’t sure that it was working until my mother tried to comfort me.
“Honey, I’m sure that your wedding will be beautiful even without the roses. Don’t worry about it.” She turned to Collin. “How are you?” she asked.
“I’m good. But actually, I’m running pretty late. Penny, can we finish our conversation tomorrow?” I nodded, then gave him a hug and watched him leave.
“So, why are you two back so early?” I asked.
“Oh, I’m just so excited to see your dress!” answered my mom. “Is there any way that we could start now?” She was practically jumping up and down with excitement, and I didn’t know how I could deny her something like that. I also thought about what Dr. Pender had said about being late, and decided that it should be okay if we started early. I nodded at her and led the way to B5.
“Why is this classroom split up into so many small parts?” my mom asked on the way.
I decided that, for once, the