The story of us - Yolla Will (novels for teenagers TXT) 📗

Four

 

 

 

Letter Four,

To you:

 

You know...I have never thought of the world as my friend, I knew how rude and cruel she could be...so harsh sometimes I could barely keep on moving, so unfair that I wondered why it hated me so much.

Days passed, and never did I think any other way of this world, I kept hoping things got better...I kept praying that I’d be strong enough to get over the cruelty  surrounding me and I gave myself a promise to love my life and live it to the fullest even if the world kept on hating me anyway.

 

Every night before sleeping, I prayed to God to help me find love, I thought that love conquerd it all...that even if the world wasn’t my best friend, my lover would make it all up for me. I thought if I fell in love and was loved back as much..I could fight the darkness that surrounded my life….I was in awe of all those love stories I read about, I fell in love with the idea of being loved and I ached for such a feeling so much...so I kept on praying and kept on waiting, until the stars take sympathy on me and grant me the most beautiful gift anyone  could ever ask for.

 

Then you came.

From the day I met you, you were so familiar...like we have always known each other. Funny how you knew how to fit into my life perfectly...like you had it planned all along. We moved from strangers, to friends and in less than a year you became my best friend.

 

You were so into me in every sense, you remembered stuff that no one gave a second thought...what I liked, what I hated. You answered all my questions perfectly like you wanted to impress me...and maybe you did. All the things you'd do for me, all the times you seemed as if you got my back. I lived in the illusion of having someone...I thought that person was you.

Do you blame me though? Do you know how many people asked me if we were a thing? 

You don't care this much for a friend my dear, but looks like that doesn't work for you.

 

I was curios to get to know your darkness... your soul. I thought I could heal you and I was on a mission... perhaps I got attched on my way to fix you and that's something I am regretting now.

You were bad for me, most people told me so but I never listened to them, I was hoping with everything in me that they would turn out wrong. I wanted us to turn into the beautiful fairy tale we read about in books. I let myself believe that we could happen, that maybe friendship can turn into more. so I waited and waited .

 

Time passed, days went by and we only got closer….we talked everyday, talked about everything.It was like we were making memories...the kind of memories you never forget, the ones that make your heart blossom just by thinking of them.

 

Of course I was wrong, of course I had always been wrong.

You started acting weird after sometime, I saw you around her, the way you looked at her...the way you talked about her often...there were so many signs and dearest one..I knew you so well.

My mind knew you loved her, but it was too hard for my heart to comprehend such a thing.

I didn't want to believe that you only knew me to get closer to her, that I was only a means to an end.

Since then I was living in a battle, my heart and my mind were shouting at me...each one of them couldn’t believe the other and neither of them was ready to lose...between the both of them I felt torn, sometimes it would get so much and I would break, other times I would cry myself to sleep just to run away from everything that was surrounding me.

The pain I held became so familiar, I  could no longer remember how it felt like to be free from this and by time I found myself trying to let you go, I tried to save myself from whatever was waiting for me at the end of the road, my heart knew that this story would never end well for me..but I was stubborn, My ego didn't allow me to give up.

 

Good days were followed by heartache, it became so normal to me until one Wednesday came and my world was no longer the same.

 

You said it, you said it and I felt so many things, you told me you love me and at that day I never really cared about anything else. It felt like I've been running for so long and finally I could breath. I was safe, our friendship wasn't a lie and it evolved to something more.

 

But not for long.

 

Sometime later you told me you loved my friend.

Yes, You were miserable, You told me everything was a mistake... that you have feelings for me but your feelings for her were stronger.

How can someone be this disgusting? 

You made me doubt myself, you made me hate everything I once loved myself for.... How can you love someone then not love them the next day?

You were sick, and you broke me.

The rest of the story doesn’t matter….all the days that followed make no sense now, you loved my friend all along it has always been her...I was nothing, I was nothing to you.

 

I am holding my broken heart now and I am walking away, I promised to never let you hurt me this bad again, you told me that you tried to love me but you couldn’t….you told me we couldn’t decide whom our hearts fell for and I wanted at that very moment to go back to the very first day I met you, so that I would never did.

 

I wonder now, if all boys are as cruel...I wonder if I was too hard to love that you couldn’t love me despite everything I have done to you.

You took a piece of me and I am never getting it back now...I hate you for this, I hate you so much for this.

I’ll let you go now, and I promised myself to never talk to you again...I just wanted to ask you one last question….for old times sake, although I know now that you never cared for them as much….I let you go and you seemed fine, more than fine actually. You went back to your life so smoothly that i wondered if I was ever a part of it...I don’t blame you though.

 

You ran back to her, you went where your heart guided you...You never cared if I lost mine and once again, I don’t blame you...or maybe I do….

So tell me, tell me where broken hearts go.

 

                                                             from me,

                                                                                    

 

 

 

Five

 

 

 Letter five,

To you:

 

This is my last letter to you, 

I wanted my closure and I got it today.

You told me everything, you told me how you love her all along... you told me that I was never intended to appear in your way but I did.

I made you doubt everything and your feelings were all over the place.

You said that I was almost perfect, but almost was not enough and I listened to you telling me all about your pathetic self for one last time.

 

The thing is, I wasn't hurting.

The pain made me numb.

I insisted we meet because I wanted answers and I wanted to show you that I no longer cared.

I wanted to prove to myself that I was the one capable of letting go and not you.

I wanted you to regret this, and I did.

 

I walked away after listening to whatever you had to say, I knew deep down that I'd never talk to you again, but I never showed it.

You were wondering how I was all smiles and laughter, you asked me if I loved you and the answer was No... I didn't.

I was in love with the idea of love and love was not you.

I am driving home with satisfaction, I know you'll suffer from now on, you'll regret what you have done but it's gonna be too late.

I feel nothing, I won't cry anymore into my pillows...this is no joke but I am really okay.

My heart doesn't hurt, my soul is broken but I'll fix it.

I know now I never loved you because you never deseved love.

 

I don't need to collect my broken pieces, because what I've lost wasn't me anyway... that was somebody who lived a lie, and now I am back.

You texted me after I got home, You asked me to help you ask her out... funny, yeah?

 Not really, this is who you are...who you've always been.

 

The story ends here.... You're buried in these pages forever.

From now on, My letters won't be addressed to you, I'll wait for my true one... It'll take sometime but I'll wait.

I'll wait forever if I had to.

And you? 

You are nothing but broken glass and burnt ashes.

 

Till never,

me.

Six

 

 

Dearest real one :

I need you to promise me things,

Lots of them.

I will love you so much it would probably hurt you,

I could wake you up at 4 am because I felt like doing so,

I’ll take your hands...guide you to the stars.

I need you to come with me, I need you to handle my madness.

There is chaos inside me,

Thunder and rain,

I carry the pain of yesterday and the fear of tomorrow…

I want to be something more, but most days..you’ll see me doing nothing at all.

I’ll probably tell people to smile,

I keep happiness plastered on my face.

I like happiness you know, such a sweet taste...such a good time.

But you’ll find me sobbing into my pillow at night.

Learn how to make me stop.

Only you can make me stop.

I love people, so much